Sunday, June 25, 2017

The Mighty Lowland Gorilla and Onlookers

Sorry for the lack of posts. Partly because a tree knocked out my internet, but mostly because the Government-regulated monopoly internet provider took four days to reconnect us.

1. Professor Bongo explains the intersectionality of the global patriarchal power structure and how it exploits women and minorities.

2. Koko signs, "They were pendulous... and they were spectacular."

3. "I only weigh about 440... 450... so, my choices on where I can sit down are more limited."

4. "I'm just saying, if Harambe had been an albino gorilla...things would have gone differently, that's all I'm saying."

5. "... because I have big fingers. Next question."

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Katy Perry has fallen, and she can't get up

1. She hasn't been in a fetal position this wrong since she realized she had sex with Russell Brand.

2. The new pajama person is slightly less feminine than the old one.

3. Thought bubble: "How do trees work?"

4. Katy Perry's 'Orange is the New Black' audition went poorly because she couldn't convincingly portray an angry black lesbian. Also, she forgot to wear orange.

5. Katy Perry was unprepared for Hillary's size and gut-busting stamina.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Darwin Award Semi-FInalist

Cause of death: Massive head trauma induced when the cleansing energy affixed to her airbag was slammed into her skull.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Weekend Challenge

1. Their step-fathers and shame.

Best of Best of
Thug life and kitty litter.

Best of George C. Papoon
Ennui and desperation.

Best of George C. Papoon
The sickly sweet scent of overused fry oil at a 24 hour waffle joint on a muggy day.

Best of GregMan
Hillary Clinton.

Best of racerboy
Boone's, Fireball, and mayonnaise

Best of Rodney Dill
Teen spirit

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Free Hugs

According to her Facebook page, "Francine Duvall embraces herself as beautiful. She rides the subway dressed in a bikini to shatter societal norms of beauty."

My norms of beauty are still intact. She's just fugly.

What say you, monors?

Best of metalgarth
Sure.... if you're turned on by women whose midsections look like Jar Jar Binks in sunglasses
Best of Best of
"Aunt Francine! Put your clothes on right now, or no more ice cream!"
Best of George C. Papoon
"Francine Duvall embraces herself as beautiful", yet is puzzled why viewers embrace emesis basins.
Best of Dactyl
Wow, Clinton has really lost it.
Chelsea, Hill, Bill, or George? - V the K
Best of Best of
"I opened the puzzle box an hour ago but the Cenobites still haven't shown up. I'm waiting, guys!"
Best of GregMan
Best of Kaptain Krude
Free hugs
Option to not hug - $20
Aunt Gladys came up with a new, novel way to make money in a faltering economy.