Wednesday, March 29, 2017

"You're going to feel a little poke..."


1. The best part about a Hillary Clinton internship... unlimited free heroin.

2. "A syringe of ketamine/Helps the strap-on, go down/Helps the strap-on, go down/Helps the strap-on, go down/In a most delightful way..."

3. "Room Service: Did you order the Courtney Love special?"

4. This Ang Lee remake of Trainspotting is the first thing he's done that' I've liked.

5. Not what I had in mind when I googled "pussy injection" but it will do.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Tuesday.



1. A young Clay Aiken wishes she'd just hurry up and bring him the damn fish already.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Yeah, We're Doing This

For about a week or so.



1. "Not to self... cinnamon oil makes terrible lubricant."

2. "Being an intern is great, but I wish Mrs. Clinton would spring for air conditioning."

3. Later, she forgot and sat down. "Million-to-one, shot, doc. Million to one."

4. Well, since the Lenin banner obviously indicates these are the offices of the DNC, I'm just going to go ahead and assume that we're looking at a tranny named Jim who's just drying his balls off after a meeting with Barney Frank.

5. ORA:  Naughty, bad Zoot eventually took a secretarial job with the Crimson Permanent Assurance. The spankings continued, however.

Friday, March 24, 2017

Breaker Breaker


"The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round."

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Well, My Work Here Is Done.


1. "You... into the cornfield."
2. "Has anyone seen my Samsung tablet?"
3. "Pyrokinesis rocks!"
4. The young redneck forgot that you're supposed to ask someone to hold your beer *before* setting something on fire.
5. "Hey, I wanna be in a meme, like that one little girl. So, I set your double-wide on fire. Don't worry, I'll share the internet profits with you."

Monday, March 20, 2017

"I Won't Be Ignored"

Schneider


1. "But you said you loved me!"

2. "Come on, I got my oral sex face on and everything!"

3.  "And I am telling you I'm not going/ You're the best man I'll ever know..."'

4. "But... I've got a Porsche!"

5. It is notoriously difficult to get attention from Foot Locker employees.