Tuesday, May 23, 2017

The Orb of ... Something

1. "So, the Prophets have sent down another Orb from the Celestial Temple... and the last one to take his hands off wins! I got this!"

2. "Aw, come on, you guys, just let me touch the Infinity Stone. I promised not to unleash its power."

3. "I just figured it out. Orb spelled backwards is 'bro.' How cool is that?"

4. "The Orb of Prophecy just told me I'm gonna nail Major Kyra."

5. "The Orb has sworn its allegiance to me. Do not be afraid."

Monday, May 22, 2017

Back in the saddle again

Sorry about last week. I was sick with pneumonia. I didn't get much accomplished. Much less, blogging.

Friday, May 12, 2017

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

Giant Sea Creature washes up on Indonesian beach.

Best of jimbro
"Damn! Rosie O'Donnell crapped in the lagoon again!"
Best of Kaptain Krude
"My cousin in Alaska says we're rich!"
Best of jimbro
Trump never imagined what evils swamp draining would reveal.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Jees.... not lutefisk for dinner again!"
Best of Rodney Dill
"Guess we needed a bigger boat."

Shark Week After Dark

1. ORA: Troy McClure leaks sex pics in a desperate bid to revive his career.

2. "Don't ask me how, but I just got the greatest idea for a TV show," Mark Cuban said.

3. "Rick, when I said you needed to find your own 'roe to ho,' what I meant was..."

4. Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day... or do something so perverted it shocks all human standards of goodness and normalcy.

5. "I'm King of the World!"

Best of Best of
Can you hear me, little Timmy? We'll get you out of there! I'm gonna lube up and come in after you!

Best of jimbro
As if we needed more proof that the idiom "jump the shark" has itself jumped the shark.

Best of metalgarth
The new Great White video leaves much to be desired and little to the imagination.

Best of Kaptain Krude
Still a better love story than "Twilight" .

Best of Dactyl
Tonight on the Dolphin News Network: President Flipper getting holejobs from innocent fat interns in the Trapezoidal Office? We'll find out!

Best of Kaptain Krude
"I shall hug him and squeeze him and love him and I shall call him George." -- Two separate thought bubbles.

Best of jimbro
Man, the front cover of "Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition" has really let itself go.

Tuesday, May 09, 2017

Yeah, She's Not Even Hiding It Now

1. "Well, Christine, when you and Rachel Maddow invited me to attend a 'Women for Women' Event.... I was expecting something sort of different."

2. "... and in conclusion, let me just say to all attendees, there is no such thing as a natural heterosexual orgasm. Good night."

3. Judging from her hands position, Hillary is trying to explain heterosexual intercourse to the uninitiated.

4. Hillary was so out-of-it on anti-seizure meds she didn't even feel the tribble eating her foot.

5. "Oh, I've been into 'International Women' for years... have you met my special friend Huma?"

Best of Jimbro
"Women FOR Women conference? I thought I would was participating in a Women ON Women conference!"

Best of Dr. Doom
"...and let me tell you about Huma's clitori$," related the First Lady conspiritorily...

Best of jimbro
Up next on "Penis Envy": Hillary wishes she was hung like a horse.

Best of Double the U
(ORA) When he said that I thought, "What's wrong with a kiss, ya' big oaf? Hmmmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go grab the pussy like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss!"

Best of Double the U
You don't grab the pussy first, first you put the ball gag in her mouth...

Football, Homoeroticism In...

Saturday, May 06, 2017

Throwback Thursday... on Saturday...

1. Akiro Kurosasawa's "Eyes Wide Shut."
2. Edna Mode saw this picture and immediately died of a brain seizure.
3. Production numbers like this were why Tommy Shaw quit Styx.
4. And this is why no one wanted to use the holodeck right after Mr. Sulu.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Waiter... There's a fly in my soup."
"Oh no.... Mom! What happened?"

Best of Rodney Dill
"Sorry, I'm fresh out of Illudium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulators. Sold the last one to Kim Jong-Un about 15 minutes ago."

Best of GregMan
"Take me to your President. What, you mean Hillary didn't win?!?"

Best of jimbro
"We heard that Uranus broke the internet."

Best of jimbro
Speed dating takes on a whole new meaning for Seventh Level Korean Free Masons.