Monday, March 27, 2017

Yeah, We're Doing This

For about a week or so.



1. "Not to self... cinnamon oil makes terrible lubricant."

2. "Being an intern is great, but I wish Mrs. Clinton would spring for air conditioning."

3. Later, she forgot and sat down. "Million-to-one, shot, doc. Million to one."

4. Well, since the Lenin banner obviously indicates these are the offices of the DNC, I'm just going to go ahead and assume that we're looking at a tranny named Jim who's just drying his balls off after a meeting with Barney Frank.

5. ORA:  Naughty, bad Zoot eventually took a secretarial job with the Crimson Permanent Assurance. The spankings continued, however.

Friday, March 24, 2017

Breaker Breaker


"The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round."

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Well, My Work Here Is Done.


1. "You... into the cornfield."
2. "Has anyone seen my Samsung tablet?"
3. "Pyrokinesis rocks!"
4. The young redneck forgot that you're supposed to ask someone to hold your beer *before* setting something on fire.
5. "Hey, I wanna be in a meme, like that one little girl. So, I set your double-wide on fire. Don't worry, I'll share the internet profits with you."

Monday, March 20, 2017

"I Won't Be Ignored"

Schneider


1. "But you said you loved me!"

2. "Come on, I got my oral sex face on and everything!"

3.  "And I am telling you I'm not going/ You're the best man I'll ever know..."'

4. "But... I've got a Porsche!"

5. It is notoriously difficult to get attention from Foot Locker employees.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Do Fries Go with that Shake?


1. "Like many Americans, we enjoy our meals of hamburger sandwiches and French-fried potatoes."

2. "I didn't see 'muffburgers' on the menu. Where do you get off ordering a 'muffburger?"

3. "Remember when Goldman Sachs used to fly us on private jets to give speeches for a half-million dollars a pop? Good Goddess, we have to get Chelsea in Office."

4. "How was I supposed to know the locks on the Women's Restroom were broken?"

5. "I swear the gal operating the fryalator used to be their Director Social Media."