Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Reconsidering the 19th Amendment, Part 3 of 5

Continuing our tribute to the women of the U.S. Senate. All photos are ripped off from this selection of photographs of female members of the United States senate by Documentary photographer Melina Mara. Today: Senator Susan Collins (RINO-Maine) and Sen. Chuck Schumer (D - New York).

1. "... and when I rolled over in bed, there was a huge wet spot..."

2. Chuck Schumer's attempt to cover the fact that he was staring at her tits, like everything democrat, ultimately just made the situation worse.

3. Unfortunately, Chuck's make-up artist was sick that day, and this was the only way to cover up the three 6's on his forehead.

4. By the time a stunned Charles Schumer recovered from her back-hand bitch-slap, Susan Collins had passed her bill naming Stephen King 'Poet Laureate of the U.S. Senate.'

5. "Forgive my colleague, he was in a late 'legislative session' with senator Kennedy, and has 'one bitch of a hangover.'"

6. "Damn it, she was supposed to say some Puerto Rican guy hijacked the minivan with the kids in it. Stupid bitch, we are so boned!"

7. Hillary's bowel movements are so powerful, they actually alter the humidity inside the capitol dome.

8. Most men have the same response when a woman describes an episiotomy.

9. "... and now the results of the voting on Hillary's nickname, 'Iron Dingbat,' 49 votes, 'Lickbeard the Pirate,' 49 votes... looks like you cast the tie-breaker, Senator Schumer. No pressure."

10. Susan Collins got even with Charles Schumer by introducing him at the "NOW" convention as "the man who invented spiked heels and single-handedly got Ellen cancelled."


Anonymous said...

Tom Selleck lost to Chuck Schumer on the Dating Game because Chuck
answered the question, "using only animal sounds, describe to me your
ideal night on the town" more to Susan Collins's satisfaction, and she has never let Shumer forget it.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha! Women over forty are ugly!! That is so hilarious!!! When are you doing a series of jokes about all the ugly men??

Anonymous said...

Which of those ten captions focuses on the physical appeal of women over 40, numb nuts?

Passionate Conservative said...

Well, anonymous, the joke isn't that women over 40 are ugly. it's just that these women over 40 are ugly....eeeeesh!

Chip said...

You had to go and say episiotomy, didn't you. DIDN'T YOU! *Trying to wash out the pictures in my head*

The miracle of childbirth is one step removed from a horror movie. I wish my parents bred dogs, or something to prepare me for this. At least I didn't puke or pass out. "I love you honeeeearrrrghhh...urgh."

--Beagle, now with puppy