Monday, June 27, 2005

In the Words of ELO, "E-evil Woman, E-evil Woman, E-evil Woman, Evil Woman"

Inspired by Van Helsing and SondraK, I've decided to join in the Hillary Smackdown.

1. Those whiskers, ticking my neck and chest. Those rough hands forcing apart my thighs. Damn, I miss Janet Reno.

2. "We have found a witch. May we burn her?"

3. "... and I'm ever-so-sorry if I offended any inbred hick right-wingers when I referred to the storm-troopers at GITMO as 'Koran defiling, goose-stepping, racist sh*t kickers.' No one should question my patriotism. I support the baby-killers."

4. "I see the reporter from the Cincinnati Enquirer has turned to stone. We have warned you in the past not to look directly at Senator Clinton. This is why."

5. "Oh, dear. Peter Jennings just transformed into a hideous jack-in-the-box.... and that's a real good thing, Hillary, and it's good that you did that. It's real good that you did that, Hillary. Please don't wish me into the corn."

6. "We'll have to end this press conference because the junior Senator from New York needs to bathe in the blood of virgins... I mean, bake some wholesome sugar cookies."

7. "Will the reporter from FoxNews kindly stop prefacing his questions with 'Hillary, you ignorant slut'?"

8. Frank Lautenberg makes an off-hand comment about "Harridan wives driving their husbands to serial infidelity" and is immediately banished to a Hell Realm.

9. "All right. On three, we all whip 'em out and settle who's biggest once and for all."

10. "Hillary Supports Gay Youth:" High Schools throughout New York State report massive increases in boys signing up for Gay-Lesbian Clubs after appearances by Senator Clinton. --- Clinton 2006 Campaign Brochure.


Divine Miss M said...

"Hillary Supports Gay Youth"... by doing what, helping them get started?!

Kevin Walker said...

I love #9! Awesome. What would be sad is if her's was bigger than all of them combined.

Dan said...

"Don't look her in the eye, don't look her in the eye, don't look her in the eye..."

Anna said...

Hillary thinking, "I just hope no one from Fox News is named Perseus."