Monday, July 15, 2013

Definitely Not Too Soon



1. "Would you like any cheese to go with those 'Creepy-Ass Crackers,' Mr. Martin?"

2. Sadly, soon after leaving the Kwik-E-Mart, Carl jumped Homer Simpson and was shot to death.

3. "Let's see, Skittles, Watermelon Drank.... do you already have cough syrup? You can't make a good batch of watermelon lean without cough syrup."

4. Trayvon: "Lifetime Discount Card? Sure, sign me up, what the heck, I'll probably be coming back here all the time."

5. "As usual, our discourse of the Hegelian dialectic has resolved nothing; and the nature of existence remains as elusive as ever. Good day to you, my friend. Will I be seeing you at book club, later?"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
On the witness stand, Arturo testified, "Hell, that boy looked so suspicious I nearly shot him myself... and he was a regular."

Best of Best of
    -Hey! Where da white women at?
    -I think down at that gated condo community.

Best of metalgarth
    Alternate universe X22345B:  Do y'all have any Mountain Dew? My boy Zim and I are on neighborhood watch tonight and I am draggin'. Just tryin' to keep things safe.

Best of Submariner
    ...and a pack of Newports.

14 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

On the witness stand, Arturo testified, "Hell, that boy looked so suspicious I nearly shot him myself... and he was a regular."

-OR-

On the witness stand, Arturo testified, "Everybody's talking about what he bought but that punk didn't BUY anything! Stuffed everything in his hoodie, flipped me the bird and moonwalked out!"

RonF said...

You know what? The fact that George Zimmerman was justifiably found not guilty of murder doesn't mean that it's a good thing that Trayvon Martin is dead. The kid made a fatal mistake and paid for it with his life. His family is devastated. Let's not make him an object of derision.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Ron, the obnoxious chanting of lefties and looters want to create another cause célèbre charade to pursue the disarming of the public. Sharpton's mouthing off again to deflect attention from a 40-year plague and epidemic of anti-social black punkism: rapes, carjackings, muggings, dangerous public schools, black on black murders, drug dealing, violent misogynist lyrics, etc. etc. etc. They refuse to call a spade a spade. TM would be alive if he hadn't been dressed like a hoodlum, trespassing and combative, but instead of owning that, they're hoping our corrupt government will drum up a phony hate crime case. A biased press glossed over his Facebook attitude, but TM's past was prologue.

V said...

When the left cares as much when a young black man is murdered by another young black man... which happens with far greater frequency than a young black man being murdered by a white or white-hispanic... than I will concern myself with whether its inappropriate to treat a wannabe thug with derision.

Spineless Vertebrae said...

"You come here and buy skittles all the time, you must love them."
"Not really, I buy them to have on me in case I get spotted breaking into some cracka's house. You know, because thugs don't eat Skittles.

prince of leaves said...

Pretty tall for a 12-year-old.

Anonymous said...

-Hey! Where da white women at?

-I think down at that gated condo community.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Ironic Ebonic Thawtbubble: Hopes dat camera catches m'good side so's I's be looking likes a gangsta.

-OR-

"Hey, how much yew wants for a copy o'dat photo? I gots me a facebook crib, ya'know."

metalgarth said...

Alternate universe X22345B:

Do y'all have any Mountain Dew? My boy Zim and I are on neighborhood watch tonight and I am draggin'. Just tryin' to keep things safe.

Submariner said...

RonF, just curious, do you have a female relative named Dawn?

Submariner said...

...and a pack of Newports.

Submariner said...

...and a Colt 45 quart; in a bag, thanks.

Not me man. I would never say that. said...

Hey. Sup. Not much. Just buyin some skittles from some creepy ass melado.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Aaaand cut! Okay, now we'll focus on the creepy-ass cracker... I mean, Zimmerman lurking outside the shop. Don't worry, 'George', we'll make you look as menacing as possible." Hollywood is, right this very second, busy at work making another fair and balanced bio-pic that they are famous for.



You know what's sad? That this will turn out to be a prophetic entry. Anybody wanna place any bets?