Monday, July 15, 2013
Definitely Not Too Soon
1. "Would you like any cheese to go with those 'Creepy-Ass Crackers,' Mr. Martin?"
2. Sadly, soon after leaving the Kwik-E-Mart, Carl jumped Homer Simpson and was shot to death.
3. "Let's see, Skittles, Watermelon Drank.... do you already have cough syrup? You can't make a good batch of watermelon lean without cough syrup."
4. Trayvon: "Lifetime Discount Card? Sure, sign me up, what the heck, I'll probably be coming back here all the time."
5. "As usual, our discourse of the Hegelian dialectic has resolved nothing; and the nature of existence remains as elusive as ever. Good day to you, my friend. Will I be seeing you at book club, later?"
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
On the witness stand, Arturo testified, "Hell, that boy looked so suspicious I nearly shot him myself... and he was a regular."
Best of Best of
-Hey! Where da white women at?
-I think down at that gated condo community.
Best of metalgarth
Alternate universe X22345B: Do y'all have any Mountain Dew? My boy Zim and I are on neighborhood watch tonight and I am draggin'. Just tryin' to keep things safe.
Best of Submariner
...and a pack of Newports.