Monday, July 08, 2013

The Next Mayor of NYC... They Deserve No Better



1. "You should know, Mr. Weiner, that in meatspace, I don't block people who show me unwanted dick selfies... I kick them in the nuts."

2. "Hey, Weiner, my eyes are up here. Weiner... WEINER!"

3. "Hands where I can see them, Twitter-boy."

4. Anthony Weiner's even more bizarre fetish was acting out the Jennifer Grey/Charlie Sheen jail scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. 

5. "And I want the Government to stay outta my uterus, so you damn well better pay for my contraceptives, mister."

Best of Best of
    PSA: Looking pervs in the eye only encourages them. Use your pepper spray first--not your words that fall on deaf ears of sexual predators.

Best of Best of
No, I do not want to hear about your "John Henry" and its race against the steam-powered "hammer," Twitter.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
I wouldn't vote for you if you were the last pervert hypocrite running for political office... and you're so not the last!

Best of Son Of The Godfather
    "For crying out loud, I just need ONE square! You can't spare ONE square?"

Best of metalgarth
    Daria and Beavis: the later years.

Best of Steve O
I have to agree. New York has had enough peace and prosperity. It's time to bring back the Democrats.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

PSA: Looking pervs in the eye only encourages them. Use your pepper spray first--not your words that fall on deaf ears of sexual predators.

Double the U said...

"2 GUNS" so she is a tranny?

Kaptain Krude said...

"I've seen your pictures, Anthony. That tie of yours is overcompensating, mister."

Anonymous said...

No, I do not want to hear about your "John Henry" and its race against the steam-powered "hammer," Twitter.

Anonymous said...

Weiner receives unexpected blow-back while testing his campaign slogan, "Were you there when they crucified my sword?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

I wouldn't vote for you if you were the last pervert hypocrite running for political office... and you're so not the last!

-OR-

You idiot, you missed your stop. Daydreaming about sexting the conductor were you?

-OR-

What do I think? I think you're a disgusting worm who has no business running for office.
Yeah, I'm hearing that a lot. Wanna see some candid photos?

Anonymous said...

In NYC, one in four women will fall victim to a Weiner assault. Don't let this sadistic prick twist you into his pathetic statistic.

Anonymous said...

Clenching tight, the muscles of the face sphincter seal off all entry to the subject's mind, which keeps notions of shame from penetrating the weasel cranium.

Anonymous said...

Public loathing supplies the disgraced politician an offscreen diversion necessary for his upskirt pic hobby.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Wait a minute aren't you that guy who... dang, I have your name on the tip of my tongue."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Does this smell fishy to you?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"For crying out loud, I just need ONE square! You can't spare ONE square?"

Anonymous said...

2 guns ensure a peaceful divide between a red top and a blue tie.

Kaptain Krude said...

ORA: "I tell you, the world has gone to Hell in a handbasket ever since David Lee Roth left Van Halen."

metalgarth said...

Daria and Beavis: the later years.

Submariner said...

SOTG mi amigo! So glad to see they let you out of that Turkish prison!

Submariner said...

Uh-uh-uh, no feely!
Just so's you know; my Daddy's R Lee Ermy. How lucky do ya feel, Wiener?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Good to "see" you too, Subby, but now those Turkish guys won't let me back in! :)

Steve O said...

I have to agree. New York has had enough peace and prosperity. It's time to bring back the Democrats.

Dr. Doom said...

"No I won't vote for you,", explained Clarissa, "But I think you can safely assume you have both the 'perv' and 'micro penis' demographics sewed up..."

Dr. Doom said...

SOGT - good to see you back and in rare form sir...

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, this must be New York."



(Hey, good to see you too, Dr.Doom!)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I'll vote for you IF you can find me just ONE person who can guess V the K's verification words without reloading at least 3 times."

Submariner said...

Subby's Tip O' The Day:

It doesn't matter what you type in for the v-word numbers. Anything works.

Today's tip was sponsored by Count Count, ah-ah-aaaaaahhhhh.