Monday, July 01, 2013

Treegina

1. The Sandra Fluke Memorial Garden attracts thousands of visitors every year.

2. Someone on 4Chan just *had* to mention Ent Pron.

3. "Hillary's is bigger, but it doesn't smell as nice."

4. Some days, even trees can feel "not so fresh."

5. Ellen DeGeneres's new house features a fascinating take on the Victorian hedge maze.

Best of blue
just begging for a RIM job.....

Best of Submariner
What else would you expect to find in the Clinton Library's garden?

Best of Submariner
If you think THAT'S odd, you should see the topiary over at NAMBLA!

Best of ______________
The rededicated green space, "Eve Ensler Park," saw an attendance decline with families offset by a tremendous increase in rapist activities.

Best of _________
Betty White, showing how hip and edgy she could be, decided to shave live on TV.

Best of prince of leaves
Thoughtbubble: "Funny, I have this strange, sudden, compelling urge to transplant a sapling."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The Pelosi Tree - A grey wrinkled pooch and a large hole in need of a plug.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Man, that's the biggest ashhole I've ever seen I've ever seen I've ever seen!"
You didn't have to repeat yourself.
"I didn't."

Best of Kaptain Krude
This post is Vincent Smetana approved: "One more thing V the Koward, I'm tired of you presenting yourself as some holier than thou do-gooder Christian . the pictures of tits and animals having sex on your blog reveal the deep sickness you truly possess and explain your desire to hide behind "faith" and "good deeds" to cover up what a sick (intercourse) you really are."

Best of GregMan
As Vincent Smetana stared into the crotch of the Great Brazilian Twat Tree, he slowly realized he had posted his smug, self-righteous, lame, preachy comments on possibly the worst of all websites to do so on.

Best of metalgarth
Monsanto has really gone to far this time!

Best of Submariner
I prefer to use box hedges, myself...

Best of Vinneh
"And children that's why they named it pussy willow."

42 comments:

dadoctah said...

ORA: "Shut up, Beavis!"

blue said...

just begging for a RIM job.....

Submariner said...

Excited David Attenborough voice-over; "...and just like that, the quandary of where the Ent-Wives had gone was solved in Middle-Earth."

Submariner said...

What else would you expect to find in the Clinton Library's garden?

Submariner said...

If you think THAT'S odd, you should see the topiary over at NAMBLA!

Submariner said...

Ellen looked at Porcia; "Now THAT gives me an idea for after our nature walk!"

Anonymous said...

I knew Dumbo's mom was a whore!

Anonymous said...

The rededicated green space, "Eve Ensler Park," saw an attendance decline with families offset by a tremendous increase in rapist activities.

Verification:
dart inetBro

Vincent Smetana said...

And, the misogyny continues ...

I guess no one hear has a daughter or a mother. Disgusting.

Anonymous said...

Equality has it's price, you smegma

Anonymous said...

This proves that even the Druids who built Stonehenge had Sandra Flukes in their time.

Vincent Smetana said...

Anonymously, cowardly posting misogynistic comments and disparaging someone's name has no price. It's free.

Anonymous said...

Valiant defender of the realm, your quest against misogyny will take you far, far away to places only dreamt of.

verification
but edinaFe

Anonymous said...

Well, some Enumclaw residents are vegetarians.

..........arf

Anonymous said...

Betty White, showing how hip and edgy she could be, decided to shave live on TV.

Captcha "the Sizedpi"

Anonymous said...

Mutual of Omaha's "Wild Kingdom, VIP Lounge"

GregMan said...

"Mom?", asked Vincent.

dadoctah said...

Bob Vila has finally snapped.

Anonymous said...

Nature has set the landscaper trap.
The final battle approaches.

Dr. Doom said...

Whatever you do don't ask Bob why they call him 'Woody"...

Spin said...

It's not often a Monday post gives me wood

prince of leaves said...

Thoughtbubble: "Funny, I have this strange, sudden, compelling urge to transplant a sapling."

prince of leaves said...

Arbor? I barely even sawed her!

prince of leaves said...

In one of Ovid's lesser-discussed metamorphoses, the exasperated gods transform a frustrated young virgin named Vincent into a maple over his obsequious "white knight" moral preening.

prince of leaves said...

One glance and the arborist knew: this tree had a fatal case of crotch rot.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Gollum kept pointing and yelling, "That's my Precioussssssss!"

-OR-

The Pelosi Tree - A grey wrinkled pooch and a large hole in need of a plug.

-OR-

AP WASH: Dept of Interior announced that during Operation Xmas, they'd arrested 12 televangelists-a-pounding, 8 politicos-a-milking, 6 priests-a-laying, 2 turtle doves involved in a threesome, and a depraved partridge.

-OR-

Ex-Senator Larry Craig couldn't stifle a loud, "DAD?!?"

-OR-

The GOP is demanding that a thick bush be planted in front.

-OR-

New commercial for Elmer's Fireplaces: "Got Wood?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Man, that's the biggest ashhole I've ever seen I've ever seen I've ever seen!"
You didn't have to repeat yourself.
"I didn't."




(I'm sorry if the word ashhole isn't appropriate. I should substitute the word Vincent Smetana in place of it.)

Kaptain Krude said...

This post is Vincent Smetana approved: "That Bush sure is dumb! Yuk yuk yuk!"

Kaptain Krude said...

This post is Vincent Smetana approved: "Republicans are dumb. Yuk yuk yuk!"

Kaptain Krude said...

This post is Vincent Smetana approved: "One more thing V the Koward, I'm tired of you presenting yourself as some holier than thou do-gooder Christian . the pictures of tits and animals having sex on your blog reveal the deep sickness you truly possess and explain your desire to hide behind "faith" and "good deeds" to cover up what a sick (intercourse) you really are."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Acronyms for Vincent Smetana
Cement Van Saint
Vacant Semen Nit (that's Vincent!)
Ent Caveman Snit
Neat Manic Vents
Anemic Ant Vents (what Vincent does)
Ancient Man Vest
Nascent Mine Vat
Tenet Manics Van (Vincent with megaphone)
Tan Iceman Vents
Sentient Van Cam (it knows what you're doing back there)
A Main Vent Scent
Savant In Cement (at least its not carbomite)
Satanic Men Vent
Neat Sin Vent Cam (peers into tree)

GregMan said...

As Vincent Smetana stared into the crotch of the Great Brazilian Twat Tree, he slowly realized he had posted his smug, self-righteous, lame, preachy comments on possibly the worst of all websites to do so on.

metalgarth said...

"And, the misogyny continues ...

I guess no one hear has a daughter or a mother. Disgusting."

Well my guess is that Smetana has a hard drive full of dong and anus pictures of others people's sons and fathers.

metalgarth said...

Turns out that one of the RIM jobs will give you splinters and the rest of them will taste like Smetana.

metalgarth said...

Monsanto has really gone to far this time!

metalgarth said...

Treehugging: UR DOIN IT RONG!

Submariner said...

I thought elephants only had graveyards in the wild; now I find out they have a red light district as well!

Thanks V.

Submariner said...

We told her, and told her; "If you keep prostituting yourself to the Califonia libtards, something will lock-up and you'll stay that way..."
Did she listen? Noooooooooooo! Now we're stuck with this hideous Pelosi-statue-thing in Golden Gate Park!

Submariner said...

OJPA*

That's not really a kind of wood, it's the head door off a tuna boat."




*Old Joke Punchline Alert

Submariner said...

I prefer to use box hedges, myself...

Kaptain Krude said...

Carpe Phlogiston:

Savant In Cement

Well, at least he added the word 'Savant' to his title.

Vinneh said...

"And children that's why they named it pussy willow."