Wednesday, July 17, 2013
What Weighs 400 lbs and Just Lost a Major Court Case
"I need some time to console myself after this terrible defeat. If you need me, I'll be at the Cheesecake Factory... and Sizzler... and Bubba Gump Shrimp... and PF Chang's... and Golden Corral... and Wendy's, Pizzeria Uno's, Chili's, TGIFridays and Applebee's"
Best of Submariner
I'd like to thak the Dolphins' Management for giving me a chance to play Fullback after I fumbled that much...
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
She responds to QUESTIONS asked by the CaptionThis sick intercourse staff reporters:
1. Why yes, I do have one of Chel's honorary eatin shovels.
2. Coincidentally, my laxatives kicked in just as the jury foreman read their decision.
3. Yes, Dawn's head DID explode and we're going to persecute er, I mean prosecute Zimmerman for that, too.
Best of culry
"...and to show our disappointment with the verdict, we've decided to have a child together. An ugly, ugly child."
Best of Dr. Doom
"My next move?", clarified Ms. Corey, "Well I'm going to go home, run a nice hot bath, curl up with It Takes a Village, and open up a big ole' box of Fluid Air Products - if you know what I mean..."
Best of Kaptain Krude
"Bring me Solo and the Wookie. They will all suffer for this outrage."
Best of dadoctah
\"Okay, so we lost the court case. But on the bright side, hey, Twinkies are back!"