Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Tit for Tat

Brender

1. "Full size reproduction of Pablo Picasso's Guernica? Sure, we can do that."

2. "So, how's Salacious Crumb these days?"

3. "Are you aware there's an entire colony of people living in your buttcrack?"

Best of metalgarth
    Luckily, you can get tattoo ink by the gallon at Costco.

Best of Submariner
    "...and a tramp stamp of the Golden Corral logo..."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Noooo, it's really not a good time to say, "Wait, I think I've changed my mind."

Best of Submariner
    Sam looked in the mirror: "Oh boy..."

Best of Dr. Doom
    Unfortunately the next customer expired while awaiting his turn. He would decompose completely before the full body tattoo was completed...

Best of Rodney Dill
    That's no moon, that's a fully functional Deathstar.

Best of curly
    Where creepy ass crackers are born.

Best of Mr Hankey
    Yessir, I do agree that this will get you the chicks.

21 comments:

metalgarth said...

Luckily, you can get tattoo ink by the gallon at Costco.

Submariner said...

The main reason that smart tattoo artist's charge by the hour, and not by the tat...

Submariner said...

"...and a tramp stamp of the Golden Corral logo..."

Submariner said...

"Actually, dude, I think I have enough skin to do the entire Medieval Times story board."

Anonymous said...

"It is never wise to move cattle with anyone who buys ink by the barrel." IIRC.

adamsunderground
(NSFW)

Double the U said...

No... seriously, your tattoo is different. yup, you tell yourself that.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Whatchew mean, can I fits
"Up wit antidishesmentalibrarianism!" on yer butt? I cain't even says it much less spells it, yew honkey asscracker!

-OR-

Inker: I think a little faerie and a butterfly would be FAHBULOUS!
Fatso: Not too little, cause if I ever lose weight, they'll shrink and look like pimples!
Inker: Heh, no dey won't, they beez the same size, they's just gonna look like Salvador Dali's melted watches.

WordVerify: Thareju - part of the poem popularized by certain sour krauts - "heraju, thareju, everywhere a juju"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Noooo, it's really not a good time to say, "Wait, I think I've changed my mind."

-OR-

I dunno, Sam, I think this tat woulda looked a lot better on a smaller dude. It's just too stretched.
Uh, my name isn't Sam!
Did you order the #387?
NO! The #873...the word "MOM"!
oooopsie

WordVerify: perpare - What them redneck survivalists do on weekends.

Submariner said...

Sam looked in the mirror: "Oh boy..."

Dr. Doom said...

Unfortunately the next customer expired while awaiting his turn. He would decompose completely before the full body tattoo was completed...

Rodney Dill said...

That's no moon, that's a fully functional Deathstar.

dadoctah said...

There's my argument: require all twerkers to be licensed.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Jethro, you do realize this tat ain't gonna disguise no fat? Everyone knows vertical stripes are slimming, not paisley.
Damn

-OR-

Boss! Boss! A freaking Japanese whaling ship's just pulled up out front, harpoons locked and loaded!
Tell 'em to take a number and keep that drape pulled tight. Alejandro, exhale and see if you can squeeze through the bathroom window else you're one dead pendejo.

jimmy said...

"DO NOT TOW ME BACK OUT TO SEA--I'M SUNBATHING, NOT BEACHING MYSELF." --written on the back in those "deep" Asian symbols.

Submariner said...

Uh, no: we don't call this "sleeving."
This is more along the lines of "constructing the great wall of China..."

curly said...

“Sorry Essay. I don’t think we could fit all 11,000 pages of regulations for ObamaCare on just your back…we might need to tat some of them on your ass.”

curly said...

Where creepy ass crackers are born.

Submariner said...

How big of a "Chocolate Cake" do you want, Mr. Inglesias?

Mr Hankey said...

Yessir, I do agree that this will get you the chicks.

Markus ARyanas said...

This is the last image of Leroy the tatman just before being flown violently into the wall from 200mph winds from a source unknown.

Markus ARyanas said...

Here's Leroy at the rehab center failing his final test proving that he still can't say no to crack.