Friday, June 28, 2013

Star Witless

Rachel Jenatalia

Threadwinner: champaignken The trial ground to a halt when it was learned that Barbara Billingsley had died and there was no one available to translate jive into English.

Best of kg  'Hooked on Phonics - Cursive edition' announces new spokeswoman.
Best of ??? "I've licked my lips more than a '70s pron star at this man, and he still hasn't asked me out on a date after the trial. Doesn't he realize that I want to be the cheese that's spread on top of that crazy ass cracker?"

Best of GregMan  Leagle Beagle: "With your honor's permission, may I put this grey plastic bag over the witnesse's head and smother her?" Judge: "Granted!"

Best of Kaptain Krude  "I still don't get it. Why is it funny that a porn star would sue over a rear-end collision? Collision... that's a funny-sounding word. Collision collision collision collision. Wait! How do you get the word 'collision' out of the word 'collide'? Wouldn't it be 'collidion'? Collidy...no, collidee...no, col...ah, maybe I'll just ask this cracker over here. Crackers know everything. He's creepy, though. Creepy-ass cracker. Man, cracker is a funny word, too... But now I'm getting hungry. I sure could go for a plate of pancakes."

Best of ColoradoPatriot  "Your Honor, allow me to submit as evidence this douchebag which is virtually identical to the press coverage of this incident up to this point."

Best of Jay Guevara  "I'll just be taking this Mensa application form, which we obviously won't be needing."

Best of Submariner  So what, EXACTLY, does wet grass sound like?


Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Wonder Woman Cosplay



Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The tats are bad enough, but that giant cranial implant suggests Ethel's body modification addiction is really out of control.

Best of Vinne
    On the next American Pickers, Danielle picks Linda Carter's garage.

Best of  dadoctah
    Oh, *now* I get where that name comes from! I kind of wonder myself.

Best of prince of leaves
"That's the trouble with an invisible plane," Wonder Woman mused after two hours spent waiting to be picked up. "It could be hovering right up there in front of me and I'd never know."

Best of Steve O
    I think we all have a pretty good idea what Wonder Woman uses the rope for.

Scene from a Drive-Thru Window



Best of Submariner
    The General Lee's thawt bubble: "MUST.GET.NEW.SHOCKS

Best of O. Bama.
    What is nice is that she has no idea if I am staring at her bewbs or looking at her face.

Best of Joshua
    "OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR"
    OK, now I'm confused how that works.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Danica Patrick has REALLY let herself go!

Best of prince of leaves
Moments before that infectious old song "Bounce Your Boobies" came on the radio, Tammy couldn't help but do so, the steering column sheared off from the load, and the Pinto careened into a group of third graders on a field trip.

Best of Kaptain Krude
    "Hi, I'm your new pot dealer." Suddenly and without warning, an entire neighborhood went ghey.

Best of Vinneh
"Excuse me Mam, but in Florida it's illegal to drive with your chin on the cheeks of your ass, oh and your turn signal is out."

Best of jimmy
I always wondered what happened to the bratty "blueberry" girl from the Willie Wonka movie. I almost didn't recognize her without the purplish tint!

Best of dadoctah
Electro-Woman has really let herself go. And I don't even want to know what happened to Dyna-Girl.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

World's Most Effective Anti-Drug Campaign



Best of Submariner
    Have to challenge your title, V.  "I tried pot once. Now I'm a flaming Lib."

And the difference would be...? - V

Best of Submariner
    Because SOMEbody has to do it: Cap This! standard #7: Ennui, when will you release me?

Best of GregMan
    "...and FABULOUS!"

Best of Joshua
    ....... and even I think the Supreme Court is way too liberal.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Gone Fishin'

V teh K is on vacation this week.


Best of prince of leaves Whorepoon. Best of Submariner If the first thing you noticed was that the arrow wasn't nocked, I have some news for you... Best of HLam "Here fishy, fishy, fishy...." Best of blue Yea, Aquaman smoked pot once & now he goes down........ Best of prince of leaves Next on Trailer Park Gods: Paw Zeus sends Diana out to catch some dinner, leading Narcissus to have the epic drama-queen meltdown of the season.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Crowd Shot


1. Marco Rubio supporters gather for his 2016 Campaign kickoff.

2. Now, if this were an accurate depiction of Joe Biden's brain, the three surviving neurons would be engaged in a hilarious tickle-fight.

3. The meeting of People Who Don't Suspect Hillary Is a Massive Dyke is now called to order.

4. The meeting of People Who Don't Think Russell Brand Is a Massive Douche-Canoe is now called to order.

5. The Weekly Girls viewing party attracts its largest crowd ever.

 Best of chronos the wonder pig
This year's meeting of the V the K fan club drew record crowds.

 Best of Submariner
As Gallagher's reputation waned and he began using puppies, the front rows began to empty at most venues.

 Best of  metalgarth
Attendance for the Dixie Chicks 2013 Tour, crowds was 50% higher than the previous one.

 Best of metalgarth
Midway through the 2254 tour, Gene Simmons' great, great, great, great, great, great grandson, finally decided that it was time to retire Kiss.

 Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Down on the Gang of 8 podium, McCain yells, "Welcome to all our fellow white supporters of amnesty for illegals!"
Throng of 3 supporters - We only came for the free beer! Where's the beer? Where's the BEER? WHERE'S THE BEER??

 Best of Steve O
Ass Press: A gun control rally drew thousands of protesters yesterday in a sign that Republicans are stupid and standing in the way of the inevitable future.

 Best of Spin
"And you three stay there until those spots clear up"

 Best of Whacko
Fans in the bleachers behind 1st base at a Cleveland Indians home game.

 Best of Vinneh
The Ed Schultz Fan Club braving the elements can't get enough of his incisive commentary.

 Best of Submariner
"...and you thought I was crazy to want to be first in line for Steelers - Ravens, eh?"

 Best of Kaptain Krude
"Wow. I didn't think it was THAT loud." Taking propelecia may cause some side effects such as excessive gas.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Because Liberals Get Peevish When I Mock the FLOTUS

Brender


1. M'Chel: "Now, give me back my eatin' shovel or I am going to shove this up your ass sideways. Got me?"

2. M'Chel: "What is this sh-t? Do I look like a gawdam Art Frahm painting to you?" 

3. M'Chel: "Come on, deep throat this you little pansy. We can get you a job in Senator Reid's office."

4. M'Chel: "Tell Marco Rubio this is primo weed and he'll give you $50. Dude's gullible as sh-t."

5. M'Chel: "Don't resist, Jamal. All is peaceful in the hive-mind. Here, take home this pod and sleep with it."

Best of metalgarth
It might taste better than a pencil but how should I know, I don't eat this shit. Ask that cracker McCaskill.

Best of Dr. Doom
"No maaaaam," whimpered Jamal, "I don't want to guess where that has been..."

Best of chronos the wonder pig
"If you don't fetch my eatin' shovel I'm going to rear end you with this!"

Best of Nate
"Smell it...SMELL IT!!!"

Best of Dactyl
No ma'am, it doesn't smell like tuna at all. Why would it smell like tuna?

Best of ColoradoPatriot
"Obamacare? Ha ha, no, silly. Bend over and I'll show you how that works."

Best of dadoctah
"Speak directly into the bok choy so the NSA can hear you."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Look, if'n you don't eat this, the new Sesame Street character will come over and show you what happens in the slammer when you don't open your mouf real wide. Seriously, resistance is futile.

Best of Kaptain Krude
ORA: "Give ear to the words of Manos! Hear the will of Manos!"

Best of Spineless Vertebra
"Hey, kid, you either have to eat all your greens or all your gays. The choice is yours."

Best of Spin
"Now say the words, Nom, Nom, Nom..."

Choom Mugabe Meets Ireland Persons



1. Paint by numbers; the artistic equivalent of reading a Teleprompter.

2. "Little crackers gonna be pissed when they found out I ate all their lunches."

3. "Meh, we're not impressed. Last week Barney Frank and the Safe School Czar made us paint their nipples."

4. "Mr. President, why did you paint the words, 'Ha Ha, SUCKER!' over that picture of Marco Rubio." 

5. "Dayum, I'm already out of brown and I ain't near done painting M'Chel's ass."

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Delicious Pencil. Om Nom Nom Nom.


A Naked Lady and She's All Naked and Everything


1. "Come back, Rosie! We'll work it out, I promise."

2. ORA: Darwin from SeaQuest has really let himself go. Still a babe magnet, though.

3. Paula Deen thinks one of them things would taste yummy deep fried in butter.

4. Ang Lee's transgendered Moby Dick was just really f--king weird.

5. The Belugas quickly learned to accept Rosie as one of their own kind.

Shut Up and Eat Your Gheys


Monday, June 17, 2013

"Here I Come to Save the Day..."


1. "Sasha, can I borrow your squirt gun? Andrew Sullivan invited me over for some watersports."

2. Malia couldn't figure out why Choom called out "Oh, Reggie!" as the spurts of water hit his face.

3."Must moisturize Nancy Pelosi before she cracks."

Best of ColoradoPatriot
"Hang on, Sasha. I've got to go refill again. Damn Cuomo and his squirt-gun magazine limitations."

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    Obama rushes aid to the Syrian rebels...

Best of prince of leaves
"And then I ran from the helo into the compound like this, blasting terrorists left and right, and single-handedly took down Bin Laden all by myself without any help!" The girls loved it when their dad reenacted his old war stories, but as they grew up they suspected he exaggerated some of the details.

Best of Submariner
    "Release the Kracken!"
    Barry regretted his joke immediately and ran for his life as M'Chel headed straight for the ladder after her "dive..."

Choom and a Fuzzy Thing



1. "You know, from behind, you are shaped exactly like a penis?"

2. "Bo, I can't help but picture you spit-roasted... sorta like me between Reggie Love and Rahm Emmanuel the night Benghazi went down."

3. M'Chel's family had its own version of Cousin It.

Best of GregMan
"Bo, you smell bad, you're covered in hair, you eat your own poo... you just remind me of M'Chel so much!"

Best of chronos the wonder pig
Don't worry Bo, I'm not Asian.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    What is it, Bo?
    ARF
    Someone's in trouble?
    ARF ARF
    Chel's using her eatin shovel at the buffet and she accidentally swallowed the chef?
    ARF! ARF! ARF!!!

Best of dadoctah
    No little Kenyan, don't eat them raw

Best of Submariner
    Thawt bubble; "I might need a snack this afternoon..."

Best of Dr. Doom
"I know you are more qualified Bo," replied the President, "But I had to name Susan Rice as National Security Advisor. Michele told me to and frankly she scares me..."

Best of HLam
 "Good boy for peeing on the Presidential Seal, GOOD BOY! Now, where'd I put that American flag?"

Best of Submariner
    WHERE.DID.YOU.BURY.MY.BIRTH.CERTIFICATE?

Best of Vinneh
    Didn't David Berkowitz start this way?

Friday, June 14, 2013

Meanwhile, Back at the Frosty Machine



Best of prince of leaves
"Leave him be," the manager sighed. "We can't afford another workman's comp claim from him doing that with the fry-vat drain."

Best of dadoctah
You know what would go good with this? A whole stack of taco shells to lick.

Best of Dr. Doom
    ...and suddenly Ang Lee gets an inspiration for his next film...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Apparently, MS13 is finally running out of ways for gang pledges to earn their bones.

Best of Dactyl
   Well he wouldn't have to suck it straight from the dispenser, if only he could find the cups.

1. INSERT Reggie Love metaphor HERE.

2. Jason Collins's found it difficult to adjust to post-NBA life.

3. Admit it, after seeing this picture, you'll never be able to order a chocolate Frosty again without snickering.

4. Ironically, at that exact moment, in a Provincetown Men's Room, Andrew Sullivan was in exactly the same position with a faceful of white cream.

5. And Liz Warren thinks these people should make $23 an hour.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Beck and Cruz


1. Two agonizing hours later, Glenn Beck confessed that he sucked at shadow puppetry.

2.The MFM knew Beck was not a serious journalist when he completed a 90-minute interview with Ted Cruz and did not once ask his opinion about Amanda Bynes.

3. The chairs at Chez Guevara were incredibly high, but the food was revolutionary.

4. "Welcome to the People-Hated-Equally-By-Republicans-And-Democrats Club. Let me show you the secret handshake while Sarah Palin makes you a sandwich."

5. "During my audit, they did insert the entire hand, but it was more like this than an actual 'fist.'"

The Room Where Michael Jackson Died

Police Photos: Weird, Right?


Prom Night in Dearborn

Brender



1. There's a good reason there's no Islamic Courtney Love, Lindsey Lohan, Mylie Cyrus, or Amanda Bynes. Something to think about.

2. This week on "The Islamic Bachelorette," Fatima is stoned to death for being in public with a man who is neither her husband nor brother.

3. "Well, one down, three to go."

4. ORA: After killing off Tasha Yar, Armus later found true love with the man of his dreams. He did, however, remain the embodiment of evil.

5. Mohammed was disappointed that after watching twenty minutes of pron it turned to be an infomercial for Hefty bags.

Best of ColoradoPatriot
Akhmed was relieved. He had grown so weary of going on dates with Western girls who looked nothing like their online pictures.

Best of dadoctah
1865: young Robert "Tad" Lincoln comforts his grieving mother.

Best of GregMan
"This is my betrothed, Fatima. Isn't she beautiful? At least I think she's beautiful. That is, I hope she is. Um, Fatima, you are a girl, right?"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Whaddya mean, you want to try before you buy? This isn't a used camel lot, Abdul.

Best of Vinneh
The road tour of Elephant Man opens in Saudi Arabia.

Best of Steve O
Ahmed had to kill his actual date last week in an honor killing. But prom was THIS week. Luckily, a blow-up doll and a tarp was handy, so it all worked out.

Best of  Dr. Doom
"Hey don't judge me," said Fatima, "You wouldn't want to be seen in public with this douche-wagon either..."

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Take Off Your Pants and Jacket

Brender

1. Sometimes the Axe Effect goes hopelessly awry.

2. Andrew Sullivan's efforts to recruit a new houseboy take a desperate turn.

3.  "But I don't wanna get my picture taken with John McCain."

Best of jimmy
The policemen lived to regret their actions once they realized the more "practical" reason Ahmed always wore black underwear.

All together now: EWWWWW.....

Best of chronos the wonder pig
No! No! I don't want to be M'Chel's lunch date!!

Best of Vinneh
In some countries the briefs verse the boxers preference is a bit too much.

Best of Dr. Doom
There is always drama when the Iranian Village People play Tehran but in the end the result is oh so FABULOUS!

Best of Submariner
Has everybody made their wish? Good. On the count of three, everybody pull, ok?
One, Two, THREE!

Best of dadoctah
He's lucky Mitt Romney didn't get in, else he'd also be getting an involuntary haircut.

Best of GregMan
It got harder and harder to get Achmed in the tub for his yearly bath.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
In new middle eastern democracies, there's a period of adjustment between being forced to vote for the dictator and being free to vote for the dictator of your choice.

Best of Whacko
No matter what the situation, Michael Jordan always wears his Hanes.

Grifola frondosa

Army of Mom

1. "It's twoo! It's twoo" Ent Edition. 

2. "May we presume from the black rotting heads that these have been inserted into Paris Hilton?" 

3. "There go the paramedics with Mr. Sullivan. Golly, I wonder how painful rectal splinters are to remove." 

4. "Surrounded by hardwood... reminds one of prom night, doesn't it Jen?" 

5. To reward themselves for meeting production quotas, the Keebler elves sent out for some hookers.

Best of Submariner
The 'happy ending' produced a thick spore cloud, ensuring morels would continue to exist in these parts.

Best of blue
The latest Sybian attachments make all the girls smile.

Best of Double the U
These two girls had an unfortunate reputation for their fungal collection.

Best of Submariner
Ents really ought to learn to clean away their smegma...

Best of Artfldgr
And the morel of the story is...

Monday, June 10, 2013

Monkey, Motorcycle, South Asian, Wood...

Brender


1. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

2. "I swear to the Virgin Mary if that monkey asks me if I've 'got wood' one more time...he's gonna the bitch who fell off... "

3  Simultaneous thoughtbubble: "He looks nothing like his Match-dot-com photo."

4. BJ and the Bear reboot; you're doing it wrong.

5. "Wood-powered green motorcycle my ass. F--k you, Al Gore!"

Best of dadoctah
    ORA: "Atomic batteries to power! Turbines to speed!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Hey, cabbie, you're padding the fare! I'm not a tourist... we just drove down this road!

Best of Joshua
It is well known that many top scientists and engineers were inspired by the TV series Star Trek while growing up. Juan, however, shown here driving his coconut fueled motorcycle, was a big fan of the show Gilligan's Island.

Best of Vinneh
"Hey Ghangis Khan, there's an extra 5 bucks in it if you can catch that cab."

Best of dadoctah
Funny thing is, Patnang didn't even *like* monkeys. But if it gets him into the carpool lane....

Best of Rodney Dill
Send Lawyers, Guns, and Monkeys... the sh*t has hit the fan...

Red Army Glee Club


1. "Isn't she ruvvry... isn't she beautifoh..." Stevie Wonder was moved by the PRC's tribute.

2. Next on Chinese Glee: "Is that a bayonet rubbing between my firm buy supple buttcheeks, or are you happy to see me?"

3. "And then the SCOAMF said... 'We believe in the free market. We believe in a light touch when it comes to regulations.'..." "Stop it, Chang, you're killing me!"


Best of metalgarth
What do you get when cross "Red Dawn" with "A Christmas Story"?
Fah rah rah rah rah, rah rah rah rah!

Best of GregMan
"And then Obama say, 'That no Kringon, that my wife!' BWA HA HAAA!"

Best of Dr. Doom
Six customers of the Hand Job Nails & Spa react to their Full Monty Wax Treatment...

Best of prince of leaves
But as the victorious Red Army invaders staged their triumphal parade into D.C., guerrillas from DARPA unleashed their secret weapon: the Candiru Simulator Ray.

Best of Submariner
The boys enthusiastically volunteer for genetic testing subject duty. It's either that or listen to Dear Leader sing Elvis songs repeatedly all night after downing too many shots of schnapps.

Best of jimmy
Dear Leader's announcement of an upcoming Nicki Minaj concert in Pyongyang has predictable results.

Best of chronos the wonder pig
"...make her a sammich...ha, ha, ha"

Best of Rodney Dill
Roooxxxxannnnne... You don't have to put on the red light.

Best of dadoctah
"Why you round-eyes allatime gotta say Aiieee Gojira? Was funny one time, mebbe two time, but onry when somebody pointing at something out of frame! Anyway, we Chinese. Gojira flum Japan! Dumb round-eyes!"

Friday, June 07, 2013

Joe Biden's Homework

Moar: I love crap like this.



Best of Dr. Doom
    Drudge Breaking:  In other news today the Safe Schools Czar released his new standardized test format. The test will be used to identify at risk youth for special intervention...

Best of chronos the wonder pig
Yea, the above is not 100% correct, but who said Joey Biden could spell?

 Best of Joshua
Little did Billy know but his answer drew a red flag at the NSA and he was further investigated for possible terrorist activity.

Best of Dactyl
No wonder Joe hasn't been able to find his pen.

Best of Submariner
What passes for a typical Master's thesis at Columbia. Except that it was edited for some reason to take out the anti-Christian screed.

Best of ColoradoPatriot
    A young Sean Connery shows great potential as a future Jeopardy! contestant.

Best of dadoctah
Carpe left out: I Pay Game In Snot.

Best of Submariner
Sully was intrigued and asked to meet the young Hemingway.

Defending the Second Amendment... You're Doing It Quite Well... Carry On



Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
Not sure I want to know why she has a biohazard logo on her crotch.

Best of metalgarth
I see Samuel L. Bronkowitz has a new movie coming out.

Best of Submariner
Roger Goodell had no complaints about the new Raider cheerleader's uniforms...

OHAI Mustang


Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Old Lady Mauled by RINO


1.'I Don't Know What the Cost Is and I Quite Frankly Don't Care' said the socially liberal, fiscally conservative hope of the establishment GOP.

2. "Lady, get the hell away from me, I've got a two-for-one coupon on a Hardee's Double Thickburger, and I haven't eaten since second breakfast... and it's almost noon!"

3. The Old Lady knew her gay grandson would be thrilled that she had met Chaz Bono.

4. "Hold on a minute! I'm passing a ham through my left ventricle!"

5. Chris Christie so fat, he's running in 2013 and 2016!

Best of dadoctah
    "Here's your check from the New Jersey state lottery."
    Ed McMahon has really let himself go.

Best of Dr. Doom
...so you see when the going got tough, I treated the conservative principles I had been championing the same way you are treating that Depends you are wearing", explained the Governor.

Best of Whacko
What do you suppose the guy with the ball cap is doing with his hands?

    Mb>Best of chronos the wonder pig

    Christie is so fat that he doesn't need the internet; he's already world wide

Best of blue
Christie whispers "If you think my butt's fat, check out the caboose on the lady in the green jacket!"

Albatross




1. M'Chel Obama went off on a lesbian heckler at a fundraiser this week. You'd think she'd have more patience with bitchy gay people, being married to one...

2. "I'm a boop your heads! Boop! LOL!"

3. "I'm a 747! Look at me! Woooooooo! Damn, this shit is good!"

4. "My ideal vacation starts way over here in December and ends way over here next December."

5. Before her trip to Livonia, M'Chel practices for the inevitable Field Sobriety Test.

Bestest of Carpe Phlogiston
    Everybody just sit down and shut up. Nobody leaves until I gets my eating shovel back!

Bestest of GregMan
    "Worship me, peasants! Worship me!"

Bestest of HLam
    "Yes, because of organic farming strategies, Barack's pot plants are *this* tall already!"

Bestest of Mr Hankey
    ....and with the inal credenza, Michelle's performance of her first symphony ends to a muted response.

Bestest of Kaptain Krude
 "...and those drapes put up a fight, Lor' they put up a fight! But I managed to grab a hold of the curtain rod and beat them into submission! And the result is this wonderful dress, as you can see here!"

Bestest of Submariner
    STEVIE NICKS; UR DUIN IT RONG!

Bestest of Spineless Vertebra
    What a neanderthal looks like when it mimics an airplane.

Bestest of chronos the wonder pig
    "...and if Barry was all black, it would be this big!'



Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Anthony Checks His Weiner



1. "Oh, hi there Chris Matthews. No, Obama's at the next table. Nice seeing you. I'm gonna zip up, now."
2. Where will you be when your herpes, syphilis, chlamydia, and Hepatitis C kick in?
3. "... and a quick snapshot with my Blackberry for all the high school girls out there..."
4. OSeinfeldRA: "I think it moved."
5. Some see the glass as half-full, some see it as half empty, and some see a socialist pervert checking  out his nads.

Best of GregMan
    "Dammit, Huma's right. Hillary's is bigger."

Best of GregMan
   "Man, that chick from two posts down is hot. I'm gonna have to fap to here right here."

Best of HLam
   "Bless us Lord, and these, thy gifts... Wait, what?"

Best of chronos the wonder pig
No Mr Weiner, hand jobs are only at the spa

Best of Joshua
Anthony later linked to this picture on Twitter with the caption, "Look, I'm a master debater. Election results will prove it. LOL!"

Best of Dr. Doom
"Oh no - not again," whispered Mr. Weiner desperately, "Down boy DOWN!"

Best of Kaptain Krude
"What the hell is the song that V the K is trying to reference in Clinton's picture with Jeannie? I'm just not getting it."
    wv: jakingl its Jacking its what? What? What could it be jacking?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Oh no, I just did a McCain in my pants!

Best of Rodney Dill
    "Everyday... in every way... I'm getting better and better."

Monday, June 03, 2013

The Loser Who Won't Go Away


1. "Will the Senior Senator from Arizona kindly stop shouting 'Si, se puede!'"
2. McCain was pleased with the quality of his 'Oops, I Crapped My Pants' Adult Diapers.
3. And then, the aging emperor turned his thumb down, and Lindsey Graham rammed his gladius through a conservative 'Whack-bird' in a gory tribute to the dignity of the Senate.
4. "See, it's not up my ass. Told ya!"
5. Senile Coot John McCain gives "Leather Bondage Stewardesses" his enthusiastic 'thumbs up.

Best of chronos the wonder pig
In a video resume, McCain demonstrates his qualifications for working at Hand Job Nails & Spa.

Best of GregMan
Senator McCoot gives the thumbs-up after his manicure and handjob.

Best of dadoctah
Palpatine shows his padawan a bit of encouragement

Best of Double the U
    "MEN'S TOES!" See kids, I am hip and one cool daddy-oh!

Best of Vinneh
The aging senator asked and was assured that the Hanoi Hilton gave rewards points.

Best of divine miss m
    Kevin Smith announces that "Dogma II" will feature
    Sen. John McCain as The Buddy Christ.

Welcome, Monday

As bad as it it is, at least you didn't wake up next to this here thing:




Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
    Whatever it is, it sure has let itself go since high school.

Best of blue
    What you get when you ask for the "special" at the Hand Job Spa

Best of champaignken
    Rosie O'Donnell's son has sure grown up to be a looker!

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Match.com Profile #19823-LD: Jessie loves long walks on the beach, soft music and deep fried rats."

Best of dadoctah
The biggest surprise in the "Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo" reunion special, 2032 AD, was that she still had a good thirty percent of her original teeth.

Best of metalgarth
I see Amanda Bynes is trying to get back in show business.

Saturday, June 01, 2013