A Right-Wing Christian Second-Rate Pr0n Blog
Your choices are pretty limited, so make up your mind, red; Fatso, dumbo or me?
So then it hit me; I need a quart of vaginal secretion for the coconut transister dialectric. Lets get started collecting it.
Ginger! Have you been taking all the bananas?
Guess what I can engineer for a couple of wild nights in your hut?
"Sorry, babe, but Gilligan has way better weed, so I'm doing him instead."
"You mean in thirty years an incompetent, lying, Amerikkka-hating Communist will be elected President? Let's just stay on this island forever."
"Oh professor, stop bothering me and invent a Sybian already!"
"It's custom among the native tribes. Why do you think we call them Head Hunters?"
"Professor please, we have to wait until UrkelCare provides free birth control!"
But why won't you release my second chakra?
"But professor, the other men will riot if I give it away for free!!"
I'm sorry, Ginger, but I've dumbed down my explanation as best I can. Go ask Gilligan why seawater is so salty.-OR-No, Ginger, I'm not ghey! The Howell's are just spreading rumors because I won't participate in a threesome.-OR-Why the Prof never got anyNo Ginger, that dress doesn't make you look fat. It actually hides the fat quite well.
Fill out an invention request form in triplicate and submit it with a basket of fresh lobsters and I 'll work on it in a couple months ... OR ... strip naked right now and do exactly what I ask and I'll have it for you tomorrow.
"On an island where Hans Conried is Jewish, Vito Scotti is a Japanese sailor, Nehemiah Persoff is a Latin-American dictator and Phil Silver is a legitimate Hollywood producer, why would you even doubt that I'm a real professor?"
Trust me, Ginger, there's a subtle difference between a slut and a whore. You're a slut while Mary Ann's only a whore in the bedroom.-OR-Please forgive me, Ginger. I had no idea the catkins I used to make tampons would cause that rash! Is the coconut milk ointment helping?
"Don't worry Ginger, Larry Storch will save us...."
"...and, oh by the way Ginger, the little purple pill I invented has some amazing side effects!!!!
"Ginger, I made an oracle out of some coconut husks, telephone wire, and a couple of Mrs. Howell's hat pins. I have seen the future, and it is glorious," exclaimed the Professor, "Sit down here and let me tell you about Ron Paul..."
My Ginger your pectoralis majors are looking magnificent today. Perhaps I should palpitate them. Please proceed to my laboratory...
Professor's Thawt Bubble: "If only the hull of the Minnow had been reinforced by fabric with the tensile strength and yet supple give of Ginger's brassiere, it wouldn't have had a problem with that rocky shelf. An speaking of a sharp shelf..."
"Ginger, will you quit pouting? The Skipper promised never to wear your dress again, no matter how much money Mr. Howell offers him. A few washings and I'm sure it will go back to its natural shape. And those stains will come right out. I hope."
Don't be upset, Ginger; Gilligan turned my advances down, too.
Ginger, don't be embarrassed. What happens on the island, stays on the island! Whaddya say, let's do it again?-OR-I was not cheating on you, baby. That chimpanzee could never replace you. Haven't you ever used a banana? Huh? C'mon, be honest.
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