Monday, March 10, 2014

Draw Tippy



1. Mitch McConnell's new press secretary, Thing, informs the reporters the senator will take no more questions.

2. "Gentlemen, please save your questions until I'm done stomping on the Conservative Base."

3. "And then, after we finished passing the Debt Ceiling bill, I went in the cloak room and gave Harry Reid a reacharound, like so."

4. "Check out my manicure, everyone. That new girl at the senate spa is fabulous!"

5. "Go on, smell it, you'll never guess where it just was."

8 comments:

metalgarth said...

No, I don't have worms in the rear. Why do you ask?

Dr. Doom said...

"Whoa slow down there. Balance the budget, secure the borders, project power?", soothed Mr. McConnell, "Now where did all this crazy talk come from?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Sure, I remember my oath - "I do solemnly swear to screw the citizens of this nation at every opportunity, to squander tax revenue as if it were my own, to accept bribes and "informed guidance" from lobbyists and PACs in exchange for my vote, and to rise to my own level of incompetency as quickly as possible." Ooops, my bad, that's our secret oath. winky winky

GregMan said...

"Dammit, I hate it when Sulu checks out my butt... oh, wait, he's right behind me, isn't he?"

GregMan said...

Then, just as he was explaining why caving to the dems on every issue was such a cool idea, an enormous chariot wheel smashed into Mitch McConnell's head.

Dr. Doom said...

"Now you just hold the phone there mister," instructed Mr. McConnell, "Do you mean to tell me there is not one shovel ready project anywhere in Amerikkka?"

Dr. Doom said...

Rubio: "I want the truth!"

McConnell: "I Can't handle the truth!"

Submariner said...

HO.LY.CRAP!>oooof!<THIS.ISN'T.>Oh Gaia!<O.BA.MA'S.PODI.UM.MR.MATHEWS...