Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Drinking Game

Brender


1. "How about a drink before we start f--king things up today?"

2. "We are going to stand here and drink shots of Everclear until Rachel Maddow looks hot."  And that's how the POTUS and VPOTUS died of alcohol poisoning.

3.  "A meth bender always leaves me dehydrated. You, too?"

4. As they passed out on the hideous oval office rug, only then did they realize they had used the roophies on each other!

5. "Does this taste like pee to you? I bet you'd never guess it was pee if I didn't tell you."

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "S0, Hillary accepted our golden shower invitation?"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    I think we've done enough damage to the country. Enjoy the Kool-Aid.

Best of jimmy
 At the same moment this photo was taken, dozens of confused viewers across America watched MSDNC as Chris Matthews suddenly began making gargling noises during his latest rant.

Best of metalgarth
    Alternate Universe X45329D: After a long day cutting the budget and getting federal spending under control, President Sotero and Vice President Biden enjoy the highly successful Crystal Pepsi.

Best of Dr. Doom
    Biden: "Well sir we really have the middle class on the run now that the Affordable Care Act has started to take hold..."
    Obama: "Tvoye zdorovye, comrade!"

Best of Best of
    Where's Jim Jones
    when we need him?

Best of Dactyl
    Looks like they forgot which one is the dummy.

17 comments:

chronos the wonder pig said...

"S0, Hillary accepted our golden shower invitation?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

I think we've done enough damage to the country. Enjoy the Kool-Aid.

-OR-

In another futile attempt to balance the budget, Mutt and Jeff do paid endorsements for a slightly flammable 180-proof bottled water called West Virginny 'Shine.

jimmy said...

At the same moment this photo was taken, dozens of confused viewers across America watched MSDNC as Chris Matthews suddenly began making gargling noises during his latest rant.

metalgarth said...

Well, that Russian guy told me it was the last remaining litre of genuine Joseph Stalin bathwater!

Dr. Doom said...

"The President, and Mr. Biden prepare for their weekly foreign policy planning session with the cabinet by slamming a water glass full of vodka. Explains a lot doesn't it? For economic policy they use Everclear...

metalgarth said...

Alternate Universe X45329D

After a long day cutting the budget and getting federal spending under control, President Sotero and Vice President Biden enjoy the highly successful Crystal Pepsi.

Dr. Doom said...

Biden: "Well sir we really have the middle class on the run now that the Affordable Care Act has started to take hold..."
Obama: "Tvoye zdorovye, comrade!"

Anonymous said...

Where's Jim Jones
when we need him?

Submariner said...

Noticing the other didn't remove the ping pong ball before drinking, simultaneous thawt bubble: "Putz..."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Obamalama: How would you like a Hawaiian punch?
Biden: Nope, fool me once or three times, shame on you, fool me every time, shame on me.

-OR-

I don't care how much you want to stick your hand up my butt and play ventriloquist and the dummy, I ain't doing that again!

-OR-

O: Let's drink to the Crimean Tartars.
B: Aren't they Muslim?
O: So?
B: Nothing, boss, nothing. Just thought I saw a pattern.
O: Pretend you didn't.

-OR-

No coincidence
A = Putin's flurry of "manly man" photos.
B = Obamalama drinks water and rides a girls bike wearing a sissy helmet.
C = The Ukrainians aren't holding their breath.

Submariner said...

Biden: "Kerry's speaking from Kiev in a few minutes to give your position.
O-blame-o; "Nobody speaks for me, they always get it wrong and I get blamed. I'll interrupt his conference as soon as I finish this drink..."

Submariner said...

"How long do you think I can keep Nettanyahu waiting before I go lecture him on how wrong his position is?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

- erratum - Should have been-

In another futile attempt to balance the budget, Mutt and Jeff do paid endorsements for a slightly flammable 180-proof bottled water called West Virginny Derailment 'Shine.

-OR-

Birth of a Matriarchy
O: I swear my balls have been shrinking since I started taking these pills 'Chel gave me.
B: Me too, but when I mentioned it to Jill, she smiled and said, "That's a harmless side effect of the vitamins, Josephine."
O: She calls you Josephine??
B: Yeah, isn't she a corker?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Senile Thawtbubble: Darn. I waited years to play the dribble glass joke on him and he picks up the wrong... oh crap, my glass is leaking!

Dactyl said...

Looks like they forgot which one is the dummy.

Submariner said...

Dactyl said...
Looks like they forgot which one is the dummy.


Excellent! Nominated for a best of...

Kaptain Krude said...

"So you sent Hillary to 'reset' our relationship with Putin, eh? Brilliant! What could possibly go wrong? Say, what's that high-pitched descending whistling noise that I hear?"