1. "How about a drink before we start f--king things up today?"
2. "We are going to stand here and drink shots of Everclear until Rachel Maddow looks hot." And that's how the POTUS and VPOTUS died of alcohol poisoning.
3. "A meth bender always leaves me dehydrated. You, too?"
4. As they passed out on the hideous oval office rug, only then did they realize they had used the roophies on each other!
5. "Does this taste like pee to you? I bet you'd never guess it was pee if I didn't tell you."
Best of chronos the wonder pig
"S0, Hillary accepted our golden shower invitation?"
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
I think we've done enough damage to the country. Enjoy the Kool-Aid.
Best of jimmy
At the same moment this photo was taken, dozens of confused viewers across America watched MSDNC as Chris Matthews suddenly began making gargling noises during his latest rant.
Best of metalgarth
Alternate Universe X45329D: After a long day cutting the budget and getting federal spending under control, President Sotero and Vice President Biden enjoy the highly successful Crystal Pepsi.
Best of Dr. Doom
Biden: "Well sir we really have the middle class on the run now that the Affordable Care Act has started to take hold..."
Obama: "Tvoye zdorovye, comrade!"
Best of Best of
Where's Jim Jones
when we need him?
Best of Dactyl
Looks like they forgot which one is the dummy.