Wednesday, March 05, 2014

Kangaroo Pick-Up Lines


1.  "Hey, baby. Want me to jump your bones?" 

2.  "My wife doesn't understand me..." 

3. "Eats, shoots, and leaves? No, baby, that's pandas."

4. "Hey, baby, wanna see my billabong?" 

5. If DH Lawrence wrote "Winnie the Pooh." 

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Has Sarah Jessica Parker lost some weight?

Best of Dr. Doom
    'Ow to speak Australian... Blind Date...

Best of Submariner
Hollywood Insider: Demi Moore signed for the Australian remake of "Francis the Talking Mule." No word yet which role she'll be playing.

Best of Dactyl
    Piglet and Roo hit puberty.

Best of Jay Guevara
    "Hey, baby, want to hop into the sack?"

Best of Markus ARyanas
"So, what'll get ya in the sack? I useta be lead singer of Midnight Oil or me and Croc Dundee are really tight? I'm hung like a Koala, C'MON TELL ME, WHAT?"

Best of Jack Reacher
   "You can call me Carlos. Carlos Danger."

 


22 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Has Sarah Jessica Parker lost some weight?

-OR-

Mary was a sucker for any male who stares deeply into her eyes.

-OR-

My folks said Mother Nature aspires to be a fashion designer; but I mean really, putting a front pocket on a full length coat is tres tacky.

chronos the wonder pig said...

"Well, the other girls were right, you are Jumping Jack Flash.....

Dr. Doom said...

Sally never regretted signing up for MarsupialMingle.com no matter what her friends said...

Dr. Doom said...

'Ow to speak Australian... Blind Date...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Vanity Fair 2014: Julia Louis-Dreyfus stars in the Australian remake of Mr. Ed.

Submariner said...

Hollywood Insider: Demi Moore signed for the Australian remake of "Francis the Talking Mule." No word yet which role she'll be playing.

Submariner said...

Can ya give a 'roo a hand, Shiela? I can't seem to find my keys in my pocket... Can you give it a go?

Submariner said...

Glances down; "Exactly 1:15."

Submariner said...

I keep me balance at full speed due to the size of me... uh... "tail..."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Sheila: Do you know the song "Tie me kangaroo down" big fellah?
Roo: You're into kink? Awright! So am I! Kinbaku, shibari or western hogtie?

Jay Guevara said...

Next up after gay marriage ...

Steve O said...

You wanna see what's in my pocket?

Dactyl said...

'Ow to speak Australian: Beer Goggles.

Dactyl said...

Piglet and Roo hit puberty.

Submariner said...

In later years, Roo would run into his old friend but she had long since dropped the first name and went by only "Robin" now...

Jay Guevara said...

"Hey, baby, want to hop into the sack?"

Anonymous said...

Her; "So is it REALLY a 'hundred incher, wood?!>"

Markus ARyanas said...

"So, what'll get ya in the sack? I useta be lead singer of Midnight Oil or me and Croc Dundee are really tight? I'm hung like a Koala, C'MON TELL ME, WHAT?"

Markus ARyanas said...

"You know you want me, Bitch."

Markus ARyanas said...

"Put it this way Baby, that's not my toe playing footsies with you!"

Jack Reacher said...

"You can call me Carlos. Carlos Danger."

Steve O said...

You had me at "How are roo?"