Wednesday, April 23, 2014
By Age 50, Everyone Has the Face They Deserve
1. "P'tagh! The halls of Sto-vo-kor will be washed with your blood."
2. Out of frame, Hillary seethed. "Michelle is eating all the good children herself!"
3. "You two little crackers know any good Jew jokes?"
4. "Can't a woman take a dump on the White House lawn without you little white crackers getting all in her grill??"
5. "Wait a minute. If you two little white girls are over here, then what's on the barbecue grill?"
Best of chronos the wonder pig
"When Barry told me he was half white, I thought our children would look like you!"
Best of Best of
"Wrong holiday, Mrs. Obama, this is Easter, not Halloween." "I gets confused with all these cracker holidays where somebody comes back from the dead."
Best of Submariner
No, dis dress weren't no fraggin' "picnic table cloth" before it was my dress.
Best of Dr. Doom
"Eat you? Of course I'm not going to eat you," soothed the First Lady, "I am going to tax your parents into the poor house and then one of you will have to eat the other..."
Best of Submariner
The predator was loathsome to behold at all times, but especially so just before it removed the still-beating heart from a victim.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Ok, which one of you brats salted my hard boiled egg with alum?
Best of marco
Rare footage of the jaw unhinging just prior to M'chelle's mid-morning snack.
Best of GregMan
"We gonna see if you white girls bleed a lot!"
Best of curly
"...and if you two little chalk faced junk-food eaters belonged to me, I'd haul you off to Planned Parenthood and figure out away to work you into their late term abortion program."
Best of mega
Don't cry, little one. Learn to twerk, and then when you're 13 you can get a black boyfriend and have a baby and quit school, and we'll put you on a nice EBD card for life, and though you'll always be the embodiment of White Privilege, your child will be half-way toward worthiness.
Best of Kaptain Krude
"Isn't it amazing, Cornelia?" Emily paused from her perusal of the strange being and turned to her friend. "It's almost like it's trying to communicate with us." Emily sniffed in disdain and turned to leave, "If it tries to prevent us from having our cakes, I shall have Father shoot it and stuff it. Not that it needs anymore stuffing." The girls' laughter echoed throughout the woods.