Friday, April 11, 2014

Junk in the Trunk


1. The last thing Tanya remembered was Hillary handing her a glass of water with a funny chemical taste, then, the room got swirly.

2. Once she realized the trunk was actually larger than her Manhattan apartment, it was just a matter of Feng Shui. 
 
3. The new, edgier Chevy Volt ads did nothing to increase the vehicle's appeal to consumers, but did well in the deranged-Transsexual-woman-suit-owners demo.

4. It's never to early to begin practicing for the Easter Egg hunt.

5.  "Hop in the back, miss. We can take you as far as Hooker Valley."

Best of  Carpe Phlogiston
   Can someone please explain this Summer's Eve commercial?

Best of  Whacko
    All in all it wasn't that bad a date for Francine, most guys left her hanging on the tree.

Best of dadoctah
    Lindsay Lohan stars in the Danica Patrick Story.

Best of Dr. Doom
   The new DHS training video was very successful at getting Border Patrol Agents to check trunks at the border crossings...

Best of Submariner
    PSA: Make sure you can give them a forever home before you bring home that "perfect woman" at closing time. And if she turns out to be a bit less than your beer goggles imagined, please turn her in at the Humane Society rather than letting her loose on a country road
    Thank you.

16 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...


Can someone please explain this Summer's Eve commercial?

-OR-

Hank's Used Car Emporium
Awright, hold that pose, Ethel. This is the money shot.

Whacko said...

All in all it wasn't that bad a date for Francine, most guys left her hanging on the tree.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Another formulaic horror movie - &#10004 trunk lid accidentally closes
&#10004 parking brake slips
&#10004 car begins to roll downhill
&#10004 muffled screams - "Help, let me out!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Well, that didn't work. Try try again.

Another formulaic horror movie -
✔ trunk lid accidentally closes
✔ parking brake slips
✔ car begins to roll downhill
✔ muffled screams - "Help, let me out!"

dadoctah said...

Lindsay Lohan stars in the Danica Patrick Story.

Dr. Doom said...

Many guys go for Convenience Package E4567 when buying their new car at Hooker Valley Ford...

Dr. Doom said...

The new DHS training video was very successful at getting Border Patrol Agents to check trunks at the border crossings...

Dr. Doom said...

What a cabinet resignation would look like if Hillary were president...

curly said...

Always make sure to carry a spare skank in your trunk. You never know when you might need it.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

You know you're a redneck #587 - If'n your trunk serves double duty, smuggling 'shine and hauling carpool slugs.

-OR-

Thanks to an "oral" agreement with the mule, Estella avoided being crammed into a van with 30 other illegals.

-OR-

The GOP's concept of respecting women is limited to holding the trunk lid open while she climbs in or out.

jimmy said...

ORA: "Omigod, Becky...*look* at her butt. It is sooo big. She looks like one of those rap guys' girlfriends...."

Submariner said...

Ang Lee remakes the "Trunk Monkey."

Submariner said...

"Oooohhhhhhh, ffffffffuuuuuuudgggggggeeeeeee!"

Only it wasn't fudge that I said...

Submariner said...

AoM brings home a little snack to surprise AoD.

Submariner said...

PSA:

Make sure you can give them a forever home before you bring home that "perfect woman" at closing time. And if she turns out to be a bit less than your beer goggles imagined, please turn her in at the Humane Society rather than letting her loose on a country road.

Thank you.

Submariner said...

Looks like ennui is about to release her. "bout time.