Friday, April 18, 2014

Coo Coo Ca Choo


Best of Dr. Doom
"I don't care what the sign said Maude," complained Steve, "I didn't hide any eggs there now let me up..."

Best of dadoctah
    Motorboat my ass. I'm talking full-on garbage barge here.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Q: What do you say when an 800-lb gorilla wants to use you as a sybian?
    A: You don't say anything... if you exhale, you'll run out of oxygen faster.

Best of Anonyme
    Public Displays of Asphyxiation

Best of Artfldgr
    I like you, you dont pop when i get on top like the blow up guy i had last week...

Best of Dr. Doom
    Just be thankful it is not a topless beach...

Best of USMC2841
    I hate it when blonde supermodels photobomb my Chubby Fantasies.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"I SAID, would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?" Mabel would do anything to help her daughter reach her sales goal.

Best of dadoctah
    Introducing the only person ever to make a sarlacc throw up: Jabba the Slutt.

Best of Dactyl
    Our records show that you still haven't paid your Obamacare premium.

Best of Submariner
    Tragedy nearly always ensues when a tourist gets between a walrus cow and its calf...

29 comments:

Dr. Doom said...

"I don't care what the sign said Maude," complained Steve, "I didn't hide any eggs there now let me up..."

Kaptain Krude said...

In the background, dub is seen violently throwing up.

dadoctah said...

Motorboat my ass. I'm talking full-on garbage barge here.

Anonymous said...

Man The Harpoons

Anonymous said...

They sell fried lard on a stick at the beach these days?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

David Attenborough whispers: We're here at Fusalti Beach today to confirm reports of a rare walrus migra... OMFG, who the hell books these gigs for me?!?!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Thank goodness Coppertone came out with their sun tan eye bleach formula as partial protection from the horror of corpulent whales and Speedo exhibitionists.

-OR-

Worst episode of Candid Camera ever. The surprised and totally grossed out white victim sued FOX for a lost lunch, temporary blindness and permanent erectile dysfunction.

-OR-

New FOX reality show - Hungry Hungry Hippos

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Q: What do you say when an 800-lb gorilla wants to use you as a sybian?
A: You don't say anything... if you exhale, you'll run out of oxygen faster.

Anonymous said...

Public Displays of Asphyxiation

Anonymous said...

A common misconception is that Jonah was inside the belly of the beast--not so, only its belly button.

Artfldgr said...

Maybe i think you don't know the meaning of the word!

Artfldgr said...

I found me a Maaaaaan! And I aint never letting go!

Artfldgr said...

I like you, you dont pop when i get on top like the blow up guy i had last week...

Artfldgr said...

When i asked if you could help me put on suntan lotion, i meant could you help me put on sun tan lotion!

Artfldgr said...

I made a break through in my method acting class, wanna see me do "walrus"?

Dr. Doom said...

Just be thankful it is not a topless beach...

USMC2841 said...

I hate it when blonde supermodels photobomb my Chubby Fantasies.

Anonymous said...

Grist for the Millie

Anonymous said...

Loch Ness Monster sighting at 11 o'clock. Nessie likes to peep on Bigfoot's raping sprees.

chronos the wonder pig said...

The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'
That's what I said
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
Or so I have read

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

I met her on Monday, 'twas my lucky bun day
You know what I mean
I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day
You know what I mean

My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights
Big game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about mud flaps, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

Kaptain Krude said...

"I SAID, would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?" Mabel would do anything to help her daughter reach her sales goal.

dadoctah said...

Introducing the only person ever to make a sarlacc throw up: Jabba the Slutt.

jimmy said...

Obamacare's "new approach" for preventing melanoma among young, pale men only referred to it as "SPF 430," but like all government regulations, it looks a lot better in theory than in action.

Dr. Doom said...

Next on Oxygen, Beach Bead-spread Bingo...

Submariner said...

Woah!
Looks like Oxygen is doing a new-imagining on the St Pancake saga...

Dactyl said...

Our records show that you still haven't paid your Obamacare premium.

Submariner said...

Ironically, no - this injury won't be covered...

Submariner said...

Tragedy nearly always ensues when a tourist gets between a walrus cow and its calf...

Submariner said...

Loyal but impatient Cap This! lurker, Juanita Ballena Varada, asks V da K when he's posting the 'Best Of's' again...