Friday, April 25, 2014

The SCOAMF Bows to a Robot


You guys take this, I'm going spelunking. 

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "M'Chel wants to know if attachments are included?"

Best of GregMan
"Yes, it's truly an amazing technological achievement! Can you make it give me my hand back now?"

Best of GregMan
One is a soulless automaton bent on the destruction of all human freedom, the other is a cute little white robot.

Best of Jay Guevara
    "These are not the Negroes you're looking for."

Best of Dr. Doom
"No seriously, I want to be taken to your leader," demanded the mechanical voice emanating from First-Lord Qa' atratang of the Quareulian Battle Cruiser...

Best of Dr. Doom
    "Hmmm... Just about podium height... this could be just the thing to replace Matthews," thought the President.

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    Robot: "I dare you to cross this line!'
    Barry: "Well, I double dare you to cross this line!!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    O'Thawtbubble: Nice thing about political correctness is, nobody will complain if I put this out on the front lawn.

Best of Best of
    Asimo swaggers after all calculations prove him the most masculine thing in the room

Best of mega
    Everybody who doesn't understand how a street agitating race hustling punk can have become leader of the free world, grab one hand in the other.


Best of Submariner
One is a soulless construct incapable of autonomous thought and able only to perform actions its handlers programmed into it; the other is a cute little white robot.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Robot Thawt: Jeez, I've written a new concerto, discovered a flaw in the Isogeny theorem and won a 12 simultaneous chess game match versus the Harvard Club in the time this boob's been trying to answer, "Why don't black guys get white tattoos?"

Best of Submariner
    Megapussi covers up and starts to roll up into fetal position after the little Japanese robot kicks what's left of his manhood.
 

36 comments:

chronos the wonder pig said...

"I, for one, welcome our new robot masters."

chronos the wonder pig said...

"If I had a robot son it would not look like that!"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"...and comes with a built in Obama phone you say?"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"M'Chel wants to know if attachments are included?"

GregMan said...

"By your command."

GregMan said...

"Yes, it's truly an amazing technological achievement! Can you make it give me my hand back now?"

GregMan said...

One is a soulless automaton bent on the destruction of all human freedom, the other is a cute little white robot.

Jay Guevara said...

"These are not the Negroes you're looking for."

chronos the wonder pig said...

"Dis robot got a birth certificate?"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"I shall call you Mini Me!"

Dr. Doom said...

"No seriously, I want to be taken to your leader," demanded the mechanical voice emanating from First-Lord Qa' atratang of the Quareulian Battle Cruiser...

Dr. Doom said...

Mr. Obama: "And you say you can program it to do anything?
Robotics Engineer: "Oh yes sir - it is quite dexterous."
Mr. Obama: "If it can vote, I will have HHS buy 20 million of them and get congress working on the Silicon Life Form Immigration Act. Texas will be blue before Perry knows what hit him..."

Dr. Doom said...

"Hmmm... Just about podium height... this could be just the thing to replace Matthews," thought the President.

chronos the wonder pig said...

Robot: "I dare you to cross this line!'
Barry: "Well, I double dare you to cross this line!!"

chronos the wonder pig said...

Asimo: "Gee Mr President, you can push my reset button anytime!"

chronos the wonder pig said...

Yes Mr president there are 3 laws of robotics:
I - vote early, vote often
II - when losing an argument scream racism
III - when caught with your hands in the cookie jar, claim ignorance

Carpe Phlogiston said...

O'Thawtbubble: Nice thing about political correctness is, nobody will complain if I put this out on the front lawn.

-OR-

Obamalama: Hoo wee! This thing can replace both Biden and my teleprompter.
Woo Hee (robot): Were you speaking to me?
Obamalama: Uh mm, no.
Umm Ho (designer): You have question?
O'Thawtbubble: Geez, it's like "Who's on first?" in these foreign countries.

-OR-

Designer: "Varet?"
O: You know, a step n'fetchit, a gopher. If it can carry an eatin shovel, I'll buy one for the missus.

-OR-

Obamalama: About these glitches you can't fix...?
Inventor: It has Tourette's, it's dyslexic with no sense of direction, it bumps into things and stumbles a lot.
Obamalama: So, it could actually make me look competent? Sold!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

No Block, No Foul
The prez is so slow, robot's ball swishes through the hoop before Obamalama has time to react.

Kaptain Krude said...

At this point, is there anybody who is surprised when Barack bows to anybody except for the American public?

dadoctah said...

"Aiieee!!! Gundam!!! I really pictured you being taller."

Anonymous said...

The guy in the middle: "It says whatever it's programmed to say."

Obama and the robot both nod in agreement.

Jay Guevara said...

Sorry, that was me.

Anonymous said...

Pinocchio meets Asimo

Anonymous said...

AI scientists observe automaton mating dances

Anonymous said...

Asimo swaggers after all calculations prove him the most masculine thing in the room

Steve O said...

The Japanese present Obama with a walking teleprompter so he can present himself as more spontaneous.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Screw you guys, I'm going home." The robot needs a bit more tweaking.


(Now that I think about it, so does Soetoro!)

Kaptain Krude said...

"No, Mr. President, he no know the price of arugura. Why you ask such question?"

mega said...

"TRAY-von?"

mega said...

"Mis-ter Ob-ah-ma...(beep) you will now commit seppuku for fiddring with class warfare and mimimum wage while China build deep water navy and threaten stability of entire pranet."

mega said...

Everybody who doesn't understand how a street agitating race hustling punk can have become leader of the free world, grab one hand in the other.

Submariner said...

V da K said...
"You guys take this, I'm going spelunking."


In a curious circumstance, Barry said about the same thing to the Japanes PM after meeting the robot: "You guys handle the state dinner; Robby the Robot here is coming back to the hotel with me to go spelunking in my caverns..."

Submariner said...

One is a soulless construct incapable of autonomous thought and able only to perform actions its handlers programmed into it; the other is a cute little white robot.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

TIME: 02hrs:44min:19sec:
O: I know I can win this stare down contest. Must.not.blink!

-OR-

Robot: Solly Mr. Obamarama, time's up. Answer is always 42.

-OR-

Robot Thawt: Jeez, I've written a new concerto, discovered a flaw in the Isogeny theorem and won a 12 simultaneous chess game match versus the Harvard Club in the time this boob's been trying to answer, "Why don't black guys get white tattoos?"

curly said...

"Does it come in, er, black?"

Submariner said...

Megapussi covers up and starts to roll up into fetal position after the little Japanese robot kicks what's left of his manhood.