Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Call Sign: Lardbutt

Brender



1. Kim just couldn't wait until his 'Top Gun' training got to the homoerotic volleyball game.

2. "This joystick is so rigid and hard... I've never held anything like it."

3. "You're right, revered leader, I bet you could totally fly this naked on meth. I'll have some brought immediately."

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "Why not drone? Obama got drone..."

Best of Double the U
    pew! pew! pew!

Best of Double the U
    The highlight is North Korea's version of Commander Data in the background.

Best of David
    "So when I'm ready to taxi, I shift into first and let the clutch out slowly, right?"

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "Just aim for M'Chel's butt, you can't miss....."

Best of The Expendable
    "I stirr can't reach pedars. Bring bigger fruffy pirrow!"

Best of Submariner
    General's thawt bubble; "Must.Fight.Urge.To.Pull.Ejection.Handle..."

Best of Rodney Dill
    "Where is hot cocoa dispenser?"

Best of Rodney Dill
    General: "Well you should've gone before we left."

Best of Submariner
    "...and when you get over Creverand Marr, punch brue button to rerease Mr. Nessman's turkeys. They wirr fry down to prebians who wirr give harerujahs of praise to Dear Reader's generosity at Thanksgiving..."

Best of The Expendable
    "Who raffing now, Retterman?"

Best of Jay Guevara
    "Of course, Dear Leader, I'll immediately have shot whoever put up that "You Must Be This Tall" sign.

Best of Dr. Doom
"And this button closes the cockpit so you can defeca... um... er... plan your glorious birthday party in solitude, Exalted One", instructed General Han.

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

With that flabby pilot, the plane will likely Inchon the runway

Anonymous said...

pigs in aerospaaaaaace!

chronos the wonder pig said...

"Why not drone? Obama got drone..."

Double the U said...

pew! pew! pew!

Double the U said...

I have no idea what I am doing.

Double the U said...

The highlight is North Korea's version of Commander Data in the background.

David said...

"So when I'm ready to taxi, I shift into first and let the clutch out slowly, right?"

GregMan said...

"What button I push to restart Space Invader game?"

GregMan said...

"I even more ronery in here!"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"Just aim for M'Chel's butt, you can't miss....."

The Expendable said...

"I stirr can't reach pedars. Bring bigger fruffy pirrow!"

Submariner said...

General's thawt bubble; "Must.Fight.Urge.To.Pull.Ejection.Handle..."

Rodney Dill said...

"Where is hot cocoa dispenser?"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"I said Warp Speed Mr Sulu, Warp Speed mean do it faster....."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Where button to destroy America with?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

blah blah blah blah blah I'm hungwy blah blah blah blah blah blah

-OR-

Historians would refer to this as flabby jowl's "Michael Dukakis" moment.

-OR-

Kim: *sighs* “Alright, I’ll give it a try.”
Yoda: “No. Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.”
Kim tells Yoda: “I can’t, it’s too big.”
Yoda: “Size matters not. Look at me; judge me by my size do you? Hmm?
Kim stands up to leave: “You want the impossible.”
As Kim walks off, Yoda closes his eyes and reaches out to the X-wing through the Force.
The X-wing, seemingly by magic, floats up out of the swamp, and onto Kim’s foot.
Kim turns to Yoda saying: “Ouch! I don’t believe it!”
Blinking wisely, Yoda simply states: “That, is why you fail.”
Kim: Shoot General Yoda for his impudence!
Yoda: Wait, that wasn't in the script!!!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Kim: Generaaw, you said this was so simpur a caveman could fwy it!
Yoda: Begging your honorabur fraturence's forgiveness, it's a figure of speech. We didn't think you'd take it riterawrry!
Kim: I want to fwy rike an eagur!
Make it fwy! Make it fwy NOW!
Yoda: Okay, I press START button, you hang on tight.
The jet reached Mach 1 without ever leaving the ground. Kim's perfect 1-point landing into a brick wall earned him a posthumous Darwin Award.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"Where Are They Now?"
A rare photo of a Wizard of Oz munchkin.

-OR-

The last recorded words of His Despotic Excellency of Unicornia were: And what's this button doooooooooooooo"
Satellite images show a large hole in the hangar roof. No word yet on casualties.

Anonymous said...

While indulging Kim's whimsical request, the flight officer realizes far too late he has become fodder for the next unusual execution by the state.

Rodney Dill said...

General: "Well you should've gone before we left."

Rodney Dill said...

...and then things took an Immelmann Turn for the worse.

Rodney Dill said...

"Talk to me Goose."

Rodney Dill said...

Where's the KABOOM?... There's supposed to be an earth shattering Kaboom.

chronos the wonder pig said...

"Zoom, Zoom!"

Submariner said...

You'd look just as serious if you had just seen the Korean ManBearPig in your rear view...

Submariner said...

"...and when you get over Creverand Marr, punch brue button to rerease Mr. Nessman's turkeys. They wirr fry down to prebians who wirr give harerujahs of praise to Dear Reader's generosity at Thanksgiving..."

The Expendable said...

"Who raffing now, Retterman?"

Jay Guevara said...

"Of course, Dear Leader, I'll immediately have shot whoever put up that "You Must Be This Tall" sign.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Does it come with a box of cwayons? Our pilots shouwd be issued a box of cwayons and one of my unicorn cororing books.

Dr. Doom said...

"And this button closes the cockpit so you can defeca... um... er... plan your glorious birthday party in solitude, Exalted One", instructed General Han.

divine miss m said...

North Korea: the nation state equivalent of the short bus.

chronos the wonder pig said...

"Fry me to the moon....."