Thursday, May 22, 2014

I Could Eat Pancakes Offa Those

Plenty More Where Those Came From

1. "I've never seen a child dismemboweled by a pack of chihuahuas before. Gross."

2. "Hey! Kitty Genovese! Could you keep it down out there? Some of us are trying to masturbate."  (Too Soon?)

3.  "Oh, look, a man fisting a cocker spaniel. I LOVE living on Folsom Street."

4. "Ennui, please let go of my tits."

5. "Can't ... force... hand... through... opening... Blocked... somehow..."


Submariner said...

"I'm watching you watching me, Subby, and you shouldn't be doing that..."

And you monors can take it any way you want. Mwahahahaha

The Expendable said...

Shirley watched the parade from her boudoir as the balloons drifted past. Snoopy... Garfield... Underdog. As Picachu floated past her window, she turned away, smiling to herself with a feeling of smug superiority. "Amateurs" was all she could say.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Somebody has to do something to help that poor woman being raped out there! I know! I'll do what our First Lady did! #SomebodyDoSomething! There, that will do it!"

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "It must really suck to live on that side of the tracks..."

Submariner said...

"That is NOT the Atlanta skyline... WTF did I do last night?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

How to Control a Girlfriend Tip #491 -
I don't see any zombies, but Harold said they were out there, so I won't go clubbing with the girls tonight.


John, isn't it nice of that guy to move your car away from the fire hydrant for you? John? JOHN?


a) Aloud: Don't worry, Edgar, it happens to all guys.
b) Thawtbubble: Whew, sometimes I can't keep a straight face when I say that.
c) KARMA: 20 years from now she'll need a lot more than Viagra and a forklift to keep those things up.

David said...

Vinnie? VINNIE?! Why are you jacking off next to the Crown Chicken place? Dammit, I'll never be able to eat there again!!