Sunday, May 11, 2014

Lesser Known Applications of the Force

Schneider

Best of David "I'm altering the septic tank. Pray I don't alter it further."   

Best of Son Of The Godfather "I find your lack of toilet paper disturbing."  

Best of dadoctah "The Force fills us. It flows through us all. The Force flows through us. It binds us all." -- Jedi Master Yoda

Best of Carpe Phlogiston Emperor: There is a great disturbance in the Force. Darth Vader: I have felt it. My laxatives just kicked in!  

Best of Submariner Whoever took my copy of Playboy's "Girls of Battlestar Galactica" issue will feel the full power of the dark side when I finish wiping...  

Best of Rodney Dill "These are not the 'roids you're looking for."  

Best of The Expendable "DON'T COME IN! I'm just... I'm polishing my helmet..."

20 comments:

David said...

Where will you be when your disturbance in the Force kicks in?

David said...

"I'm altering the septic tank. Pray I don't alter it further."

David said...

The Force gives you power over weak sphincters.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I find your lack of toilet paper disturbing."

dadoctah said...

"The Force fills us. It flows through us all. The Force flows through us. It binds us all."
-- Jedi Master Yoda

Carpe Phlogiston said...

When Darth asks if you have a square to spare, he.is.not.asking.

-OR-

Classic Hollywood Quote #8327
YODA said: Luke, a dyslexic weakness has Darth. Tell him he's full of Sith and evacuate he must.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Darth Sidious: Lord Vader... rise.
Lord Vader: No disrespect, my Master, but it's not an opportune time. The Force has yet to release the final dingleberry.
Darth Sidious: Don't you just hate when that happens?

-OR-

Emperor: There is a great disturbance in the Force.
Darth Vader: I have felt it. My laxatives just kicked in!

-OR-

Darth Sidious: Excellent work, my apprentice, there are none who oppose us, the galaxy is ours now. [tosses a roll of toilet paper to Vader] Your new weapon, Lord Vader.
Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader: No! I wanted a Fleet enema!

Carpe Phlogiston said...


Somewhere in the Universe, Yoda and Obi Wan Kenobi are pointing at Darth's man boobs and ROTFL.

WordVerify: Scottish finatioe - fellatio under a kilt

dadoctah said...

That's not a moon!

Submariner said...

"...just like bombing womprats back home..."

Submariner said...

Whoever took my copy of Playboy's "Girls of Battlestar Galactica" issue will feel the full power of the dark side when I finish wiping...

Dr. Doom said...

Ang Lee's remake of... yada... yada...

David said...

Doo-doo...or do not doo-doo. There is no try.

Submariner said...

Apparently, Dick Cheney takes a dump the same way every man does...
Wiping? is another matter.

dadoctah said...

"Would you excuse me? I have to go drop a sarlacc."

Rodney Dill said...

"These are not the 'roids you're looking for."

Dr. Doom said...

"Hey didn't your Mom teach you to knock?" complained Lord Vader, "it is getting so a guy can't take an Ewok in peace around here..."

The Expendable said...

"DON'T COME IN! I'm just... I'm polishing my helmet..."

Rodney Dill said...

"Damn artificial gravity broke again... and now my ass is wet too."

Rodney Dill said...

"Man, that Tobasco Hoth Sauce really burns."