Monday, May 12, 2014

Nanny Rictus McBotoxImplants


1. Nancy has a flashback to her '60'sWoodstock days and begins chanting "Freebird" to a band that now only exists in her botox-addled mind.

2.  "... and so our platform for 2014, 2016, and beyond will remain 'Free Shit from the Government.'"

3. "Next up on the auction block... $400 Billion in 'Green Energy' subsidies. What is the opening bid?"

4. "And now, I Pelosia, Queen of the Undead, command you, Zombies... attack the Benghazi Investigation."

5. You can always tell a serial killer by the Crazy in their eyes.

Best of Best of
    Stenny could hardly withstand the compulsion to lick Nancy's fingers.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Appropriations Filibuster: Oh, fine, now you've made me lose my place! I'll have to start counting to $148 Billion all over on my gnarled fingers! $1, $2, $3, $4....


Best of Submariner
    NO ONE expects the Inquisition...

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    is that Hillary under the podium?

Best of curly
    Her aging skin unnaturally tight due to years of plastic surgery and Botox abuse, Nancy “Stretch” Pelosi prepares to catch her eyeball, should it unexpectedly pop out.

Best of Dr. Doom
    "Get it right people - it is not the Benghazi Scandal," chided Ms. Pelosi at the press conference, "It is the Ambassadorial Reduction in Force Program..."

Best of The Expendable
Futurama ORA:    Where will you be when your boneitis flares up?

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Stenny could hardly withstand the compulsion to lick Nancy's fingers.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Appropriations Filibuster
Oh, fine, now you've made me lose my place! I'll have to start counting to $148 Billion all over on my gnarled fingers! $1, $2, $3, $4....

-OR-

How does congress love earmarks, let me count the ways.
We love to lie and claim we're helping the taxpayers by spending their money on my pet projects!
We love how it makes us feel to say "Charge it on Uncle Sam's IOU Card!"

-OR-

Every so often her brain just freezes up and somebody has to kick her in the ass to jump start her train of thought. Ah, here comes a Size 10 now.

Submariner said...

NO ONE expects the Inquisition...

Submariner said...

"Can I get an 'Amen' from the media?"

Submariner said...

Nasty Pelosi does the bestest impersonation of Corky Romano on coc when she's coutning off billions of taxpayer funds...

chronos the wonder pig said...

is that Hillary under the podium?

Anonymous said...

Vacancy
Vacancy
Vacancy
Vacancy

Dr. Doom said...

Voting

As Ms. Pelosi completes the incantation, her army of mindless minions moves out with one accord muttering "must vote the ticket, must not pay attention to the man behind the curtain", in unison over and over again...

jimmy said...

"Flying monkeys? What flying monkeys?"

curly said...

Her aging skin unnaturally tight due to years of plastic surgery and Botox abuse, Nancy “Stretch” Pelosi prepares to catch her eyeball, should it unexpectedly pop out.

Submariner said...

i'm.a.lit.tle.tea.pot...
crap;see.my.spout?
can't.sing;jaws.too.tight.ly.locked.to.day...

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "I wonder how little effort it would take to snap that pencil neck???"

Submariner said...

The President's Jobs Plan? I believe it's
"You want fries widdat?"

Submariner said...

Nancy brings the left up to a crescendoing "Harrrumph!"

Dr. Doom said...

"Get it right people - it is not the Benghazi Scandal," chided Ms. Pelosi at the press conference, "It is the Ambassadorial Reduction in Force Program..."

Dr. Doom said...

I'll take Moonbat Potpourri for $1600 Alex...

The Expendable said...

Realizing that she'd left her dummy in her office, "The Amazing Pelosina" goes on with the show, barely moving her lips at all.

Kaptain Krude said...

"So then Darth said to me, 'Nancy, you're evil enough, you're powerful enough, and doggone it, nobody likes you. I think you are ready to come to the Dark Side. We'll start off with something simple like levitating a roll of toilet pap...gagh!' Little did that fool know, when you become a liberal, you have fully embraced the Dark Side! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!" And so began the rise of Darth Botox!

The Expendable said...

Where will you be when your boneitis flares up?

http://futurama.wikia.com/wiki/Boneitis