1. "Oh, c'mon. There must be some part of the economy I can still f--k up. I've still got three years, FFS."
2. "Kobe's deliberately ignoring me. Add him to the kill list."
3. "Fighting income inequality is hungry work. Toss me another $300 wegyu burger."
4. "Hey, baby, do fries go with that shake? Seriously, I want some fries, you proletarian wage-slave bitch."
5. "We're ready for the check; charge it to future generations of Americans, please."
Best of Best of
About to receive the executive bitch slap, a pool reporter beams with pride at being singled out.
Best of Double the U
Obama became frustrated that the waitress kept ignoring him, the woman smiled politely although she didn't want to be there and Biden just kept giggling as he blew bubbles with his straw.
Best of The Expendable
Missy, five more "chocolate Russians" for my friend here. He's making a speech tonight on race relations at the NAACP convention and I want him nice and relaxed.
Best of dadoctah
"You don't need to see his papers. These are not the droids you're looking for."
Best of Submariner
Who's a brothah got to get his Veep to blow to get a pack a Newports over here?
Best of GregMan
"I'd like another still-beating heart from a patriotic Amerikkkan, please."
Best of David
So, this is where the little people eat? Disgusting. I'll have Michele issue "guidelines" to make such places illegal.
Best of curly
The sycophantic bimbo tried to act amazed at how quickly Barry could hypnotize the idiotic Plugs Biden.
Best of jimmy
Biden Thawtbubble - So that's how he remembers my name... he writes it on the palm of his hand!
Best of Submariner
♫ Five ♪
♫ Five! ♪
Um... How does that, uh, um, jingle go, uh, again?
Best of Steve O
President Teleprompter will sometimes use Joey Tribiani's "smell a fart" technique to convey thoughtfulness.
Best of Dr. Doom
I see someone ordered the Psilocybin Special..