Monday, May 19, 2014

Power Lunch

Brender
 


1. "Oh, c'mon. There must be some part of the economy I can still f--k up. I've still got three years, FFS."

2. "Kobe's deliberately ignoring me. Add him to the kill list."

3. "Fighting income inequality is hungry work. Toss me another $300 wegyu burger."

4. "Hey, baby, do fries go with that shake? Seriously, I want some fries, you proletarian wage-slave bitch."

5. "We're ready for the check; charge it to future generations of Americans, please."

Best of Best of
    About to receive the executive bitch slap, a pool reporter beams with pride at being singled out.

Best of Double the U
Obama became frustrated that the waitress kept ignoring him, the woman smiled politely although she didn't want to be there and Biden just kept giggling as he blew bubbles with his straw.

Best of The Expendable
    Missy, five more "chocolate Russians" for my friend here. He's making a speech tonight on race relations at the NAACP convention and I want him nice and relaxed.

Best of dadoctah
    "You don't need to see his papers. These are not the droids you're looking for."

Best of Submariner
    Who's a brothah got to get his Veep to blow to get a pack a Newports over here?

Best of GregMan
    "I'd like another still-beating heart from a patriotic Amerikkkan, please."

Best of David
    So, this is where the little people eat? Disgusting. I'll have Michele issue "guidelines" to make such places illegal.

Best of curly
    The sycophantic bimbo tried to act amazed at how quickly Barry could hypnotize the idiotic Plugs Biden.

Best of jimmy
Biden Thawtbubble - So that's how he remembers my name... he writes it on the palm of his hand!

Best of Submariner
    ♫ Five ♪
    Uh, um...
    ♫ Five! ♪
    Um... How does that, uh, um, jingle go, uh, again?

Best of Steve O
President Teleprompter will sometimes use Joey Tribiani's "smell a fart" technique to convey thoughtfulness.

Best of Dr. Doom
    I see someone ordered the Psilocybin Special..

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

The Three Faces of Eve dropping a deuce for Teh One

Anonymous said...

Why so pissy? Or, why so pissy.

Anonymous said...

Intercontinence

Anonymous said...

About to receive the executive bitch slap, a pool reporter beams with pride at being singled out.

Anonymous said...

Hold on, check your privilege. The tab's eternally on anyone but me!

Double the U said...

Obama became frustrated that the waitress kept ignoring him, the woman smiled politely although she didn't want to be there and Biden just kept giggling as he blew bubbles with his straw.

Dactyl said...

Who's the dude in the middle?

The Expendable said...

Missy, five more "chocolate Russians" for my friend here. He's making a speech tonight on race relations at the NAACP convention and I want him nice and relaxed.

dadoctah said...

"You don't need to see his papers. These are not the droids you're looking for."

captcha: 56826225 reform. What this country needs is 56826225 reform, and it needs it now.

The Expendable said...

"Umm... We inherited this messy table... umm... from the previous diner."

Submariner said...

Who's a brothah got to get his Veep to blow to get a pack a Newports over here?

GregMan said...

"I'd like another still-beating heart from a patriotic Amerikkkan, please."

Submariner said...

Keep practicing, uh, Joe. But you, um, need to find some, uh, bigger straws...

Submariner said...

How do I make that "L" sign with my hand, again?

Submariner said...

Throw it to me, Peyton; even if I DO drop it, it's not like the media would let it get shown...

GregMan said...

"With all the illegal immigrants I let into this country, why is it still so hard to get a waitress?"

David said...

So, this is where the little people eat? Disgusting. I'll have Michele issue "guidelines" to make such places illegal.

Anonymous said...

With no one buying his "palming a basketball" ruse anymore, he demonstrates the magic fingers technique that keeps him in demand with all the laddies.

curly said...

The sycophantic bimbo tried to act amazed at how quickly Barry could hypnotize the idiotic Plugs Biden.

jimmy said...

Obama marvels at his VP: "Five! Five vanilla shakes in three minutes! And no reaction at all! Amazing!"

The lady at the table smiles knowingly, since you can't get "brain freeze" when one key component is missing.

Submariner said...

Although the cover-up in the media for his Administration's latest scandal will be efficient, it will no doubt cost the taxpayer dearly, Barry gives the secret "go ahead" sign to Soros.

Thawt bubble: "Like I CARE what it costs the plebians..."

Anonymous said...

Empty vassals sucking on empty vessels

Anonymous said...

A metaphor revealing this administration's food for thought

chronos the wonder pig said...

Joe: "I'm so glad Ii can see Barry's hands....."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Obamalama - I'm going to fire that aide if he pretends to toss me the nuclear football one.more.time. What's his name?
Biden - Oh, that's Skippy, Tom's son. Didn't you know, it's bring your child to work day?

-OR-

Obamalama Thawtbubble - Why does that woman with the corndog keep waving to me. Probably one of those sychopants who voted for me both times. Idiot.

-OR-

R*E*S*P*E*C*T - Obamalama's "talk to the hand" gesture was his most intimidating pose. At best his minions find it mildly amusing.

-OR-

Biden Thawtbubble - So that's how he remembers my name... he writes it on the palm of his hand!

-OR-

Obamalama - Yes, dammit, I washed my hands! I hate to admit it, guys, but this liberal nanny state crap is really beginning to piss me off.

Submariner said...

♫ Five ♪
Uh, um...
♫ Five! ♪
Um... How does that, uh, um, jingle go, uh, again?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

BidenHalfaThawtbubble: Stay calm, Joey, this isn't the first time they've put Super Glue on your straw. Stop sucking, breathe through your nose!

Steve O said...

President Teleprompter will sometimes use Joey Tribiani's "smell a fart" technique to convey thoughtfulness.

Submariner said...

"Watch this...

Nothing up my perfectly rolled sleeve, and; Alinski!
Complete media compliance with my desires about Benghazi (and railings of 'Racism!' against the few who actually report facts...)."

Dr. Doom said...

Mr. O: "I see an Amerikkka where all people share an economic class..."
Mr. B: "Almost there boss - once the Affordable Care Act is fully implemented. uh but you didn't mean us too did you?"

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

I see someone ordered the Psilocybin Special..

Dr. Doom said...

Trekkie Quiz:
The President attempts a Vulcan Mind Meld on Joe and whiffs again. The most plausible reason for this failure is:
a) The subject of a Vulcan Mind Meld must be sentient
b) Kenyan aliens can't perform Vulcan Mind Melds
c) Mr. Obama's failure inertia has reached critical mass
d) All of the above

Kaptain Krude said...

"I'll have the um, uh, the uh, um, um, uh, aragula, um, special, um, the aragula special. And, um, make it, um, uh, um, make it- make it snappy!"