Friday, May 23, 2014

The Cool Part Is How Nonchalant the Bystanders Are


1. "Excuse me, could you tell me..." "Turn around, go up two lights, then turn left and Folsom Street is six blocks from there."

2. Ugly Naked Man has been struggling for attention ever since 'Friends' was canceled.

3. "Hey! Is that a Chesapeake Bay Trolling Retriever?"

4."Hey! You people with the dog over there, are you discussing your faith in Jesus Christ? Because that offends me!"

5. *You* try to find a public restroom in downtown Portland, OR.


Threadwinner Submariner
    On the next MONTEL:
    Strangest car-jacking ever caught on video

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    But occifer, I could get uromysitisis poisoning and die if I don't go.
    ORA (yeah, I've used it before... it's too good to forget)

Best of David
    "Yes, sir, I know it's been cold, but it's above freezing now, and besides, your door is open. You don't need to thaw the lock with your urine."

Best of The Expendable
    Pretty amazing shadow for a white guy. Just sayin'.

Best of Dr. Doom
    I see Aspacher Catering is hiring again...

Best of Best of
    There's more than one way to combat seasonal vitamin D deficiency

Best of dadoctah
    Next time, just let the guy wipe your windshield, hand him a couple of bucks, and avoid a lot of trouble.

18 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

But occifer, I could get uromysitisis poisoning and die if I don't go.
ORA (yeah, I've used it before... it's too good to forget)

-OR-

Obamalama's new government investment in a car that runs on anything had a few unintended consequences.

-OR-

Okay, sure, modern auto paint is a bad joke, but rinsing road salt off with more salt water is kinda lame.

Submariner said...

On the next MONTEL:
Strangest car-jacking ever caught on video

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The cop whose cruiser was "molested" by a crapping OWS protester continues to seek revenge during random traffic stops.

David said...

"Yes, sir, I know it's been cold, but it's above freezing now, and besides, your door is open. You don't need to thaw the lock with your urine."

The Expendable said...

Pretty amazing shadow for a white guy. Just sayin'.

Dr. Doom said...

I see Aspacher Catering is hiring again...

Anonymous said...

There's more than one way to combat seasonal vitamin D deficiency

Anonymous said...

You mean to tell me you've never written your name in the s--? Noooooo!

Dr. Doom said...

The Safe Schools Czar goes undercover to monitor school bus drivers in San Francisco...

Dr. Doom said...

The First Lady hosted a party for 4000 of her closest friends in Antwerp. Air Force One was late due to a snafu with the temperature of the Dom Perignon. Fortunately the Aspacher Catering advance team was on scene to preserve respect for Amerikkka in Europe...

Anonymous said...

Spin-off musical acts don't always pan out, as Traffic Light Said Fred learned despite his unique spin on "We Built this City."

Anonymous said...

Seattle's auxiliary crossing guards, on loan from San Francisco, fail to curb the hit 'n bum epidemic.

Anonymous said...

And this concludes the short bus driver candidate selection process. Congratulations; the civil service board found your prior teaching credentials impeckerable.

Anonymous said...

A modern art installation representing man's inhumanity to manners

Carpe Phlogiston said...

@Subby - "car-jacking" bravo

Following the porta-potty debacle, Ernie suffered from an inability to "go" in any enclosed space.

-OR-

There's nudism, and there's naturism and then there's let-it-all-hang-outism.

dadoctah said...

Next time, just let the guy wipe your windshield, hand him a couple of bucks, and avoid a lot of trouble.

chronos the wonder pig said...

Hey, with the budget cutbacks,they gotta melt the snow somehow!

jimmy said...

The bystanders may have been more impressed if he'd tied a chicken to his peen like any self-respecting attention whore would.