Monday, July 28, 2014

Looks Like Someone Just Found Out About Her Impending Clitorectomy



Best of Mr Hankey
    So Rod Roddy, what prizes do we have for little Julie here once she swallows the evidence?

Best of dadoctah
The MDA cast a disturbingly wide net in its search for a replacement who could sing "You Will Never Walk Alone" with as much schmaltzy sincerity as Jerry Lewis.

Best of Best of
Take in the ambiance, Sally. Let it wash over you, the aromas of the bazaar, the musk of the locals...the entire drug mule experience is to be savored.

Best of Best of
What's the deal with airline food? Whose hostage does a guy have to kill around here for a halal meal? Amirite?

Best of Submariner
Since she is certain that she will be one, Fatima is very sad that V the K has not posted his Best Ofs for the week.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    When did Howie Mandel convert and start doing stand-up in Yemen?

Best of Submariner
    I know she's not as pretty as my goat, but she can be had for a LOT less!

Best of Dr. Doom
    "Congratulations Fatima you have won a brand new car," exclaimed the host!
    Saudi Arabian The Price is Right is cruel - just cruel...

Best of Rodney Dill
    How much for the little girls?

Best of mega
"The UN gave her to me as a present when I agreed to launch some rockets from their hospital. Awesome!"

31 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Be sure to visit Saheeb's Virgin Emporium at the corner of 5th and Oasis. We're having our post-Ramashlom Blow UP sale!

-OR-

Here at Ackhmed's Human Trafficking & Camel Rentals, we only cater to honorable religious men. Just imagine, you can marry this sweetie or make her walk down the street with c-4 strapped to her waist! Talk about having an epiphany, eh? I must be crazy, but she's yours for only US$2400!

-OR-

You're on Desert Candid Camera!
Uh oh, little Sareena didn't have her face covered. You know what that means, gents. It's STONING TIME at LocoBoko Haram's!

Mr Hankey said...

So Rod Roddy, what prizes do we have for little Julie here once she swallows the evidence?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

With a wig and fake beard, Obamalama's a natural for a post-presidency gig auctioning off little white girls from bankrupt middle class soccer mom families to arab sheiks.

dadoctah said...

The MDA cast a disturbingly wide net in its search for a replacement who could sing "You Will Never Walk Alone" with as much schmaltzy sincerity as Jerry Lewis.

jimmy said...

"And here we have little Jessica, youngest child of the infidel Campbell family of an undisclosed north Golan Heights address. Godless little demon child, tell us what it means to have our ZR-45 missiles hidden in your home for the glory of Allah...?"

Anonymous said...

I leave it up to our kind and benevolent viewers: what should I do now that I've found out my new bride here is not a virgin?
Press ῲ if you think I should attack her father.
Press ῷ if you think I should attack her brothers.
Press anything else for me to honor kill her in accordance with the peaceful dictates of our profit (piss be upon him...)

Anonymous said...

Take in the ambiance, Sally. Let it wash over you, the aromas of the bazaar, the musk of the locals...the entire drug mule experience is to be savored.

Anonymous said...

Do not worry for you. Is only haram when Allah can see, and dusk approaches. I feel you tremble with anticipation.

Anonymous said...

If she bleeds, lie with her.
If she doesn't, cut her.
So it is written, so it shall be.

Anonymous said...

Off Broadway, Delta Force: The Muscial, way off

Anonymous said...

One way or the other, head comic kills it at Ached's comedy festival.

Anonymous said...

What's the deal with airline food? Whose hostage does a guy have to kill around here for a halal meal? Amirite?

Let's hear it for the ladies. Put your hands together, once you finish slapping them. Now, take my underage concubine--please!

Anonymous said...

Let's Make a Dhimmi. Would you like to trade for what's behind dashiki number one?

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

Since she is certain that she will be one, Fatima is very sad that V the K has not posted his Best Ofs for the week.

And a personal note for Mr. "V the K" in Amerikka - continue to make my Fatima cry and I will hunt you down, make you write contribution checks to CAIR, shoot you with my AK 47, feed you your own manhood, hang you, then finally blow you up in your own car. All in the name of piece, of course. Ours is a religion of picess.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Welcome back to the Price is Right or You Die!
So, Bathsheba, what do you think the oasis with producing oil rig, a matching set of Michele Obama his and her tents, 6 camels and the goat herd are worth? Remember dear, we need the pie-in-the-sky MSLP, not the regular price at Kmart.

-OR-

When did Howie Mandel convert and start doing stand-up in Yemen?

Submariner said...

I know she's not as pretty as my goat, but she can be had for a LOT less!

Dr. Doom said...

The pilot for Dif'rent Strokes Jalalabad was not what the network had hoped but the famous tag line "what choo talkin' 'bout Willis?" transcends even the deepest of cultural divides...

Dr. Doom said...

"Congratulations Fatima you have won a brand new car," exclaimed the host!

Saudi Arabian The Price is Right is cruel - just cruel...

Dr. Doom said...

Sorry about that CP I just read your post - I wasn't trying to plagiarize - really I wasn't...

Anonymous said...

Dat's how mewhahmed got his start

Submariner said...

He's swarthy.
He smells like a goat.
He's been at every car swarm since 2004...
Say hello to your pick; Faruk Mahmoud Muhammed bin Haram!

The Imam will now pronounce you husband and slave and you may consummate, or not as Faruk decides.

The sirens announce that's all the time we have today. Join us again for tomorrow's You've Been Mated in Gaza, the game show where the outcome has already been decided.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

No harm no foul, Doc. Sweetie says I did the same thing yesterday on another caption so I'm about to look for it and issue the SPOA (Standard Plagiarized by Oversight Apology, AKA Ooopsie-Gram.)

Did anyone else get an email from VtheK's mom or is it a scam? She's sending out his baby picture with a solicitation for bail money donations after a raucous night of "vacating." Donators reportedly get a Caption This demotivational poster. Personally, I think he's just trying to cover his in-room bar tab.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

HI MOM! I'm finally married! Promise, you're gonna be a granny just as soon as she turns 9 unless my suicide vest goes off accidentally!
Love to you, my dear brother "Peg Leg" and the goats!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Tiny Bubbles, make me warm all over, with a feeling I'm gonna love you til the end of time. ♪ ♬
Myriam, he doesn't look at all like Don Ho and he's fondling our girls!
I'm sorry Mr. Fluge, he said he was professional Vegas impersonator and I just love Don Ho so I skipped the background check.

curly said...

"Thanks Obama!"

Submariner said...

Clitorectomy? Nah; she was just informed that she was going to spend the weekend with "Auntie Hillary" in Amerikkka.

Markus ARyanas said...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, here's the drawing winner to become our next suicide bomber!!!"

Rodney Dill said...

How much for the little girls?

mega said...

"Tomorrow, my wife turns 8 and Mohammed (PBUH) says we can consummate the marriage!"

mega said...

"The UN gave her to me as a present when I agreed to launch some rockets from their hospital. Awesome!"