Wednesday, July 16, 2014

SCOAMF Hanging Out with Peasants


1. "You see, what makes me a great president is how easily  segue from lavish dinners with Italian cognescenti to eating in dumps like this with stupid white crackers like you."

2. "It's nice to, um, get out of the, um, (mutter)White House and meet with the people I'm replacing with cheap, illiterate illegal immigrants."

3. The bartender couldn't stop staring at the three sixes birthmark at the back of the SCOAMF's head.

4. "Republicans refuse to implement my policy demands, so, I'm going to have their faces eaten by rats."

5. "So... I couldn't help notice that when you said grace, you thanked God for your meal and not me."

Best of  Double the U
    Three pizzas for six people? Don't let Michelle see that.

Best of  Submariner
    They don't have wang or dog on the menu?!?!
    Let's continue this conversation at another dive...

Best of  Whacko
 Mr. President, would you mind harassing some other table? We have friends that might come in and see us.

Best of  Whacko
    Mr. President, what does SCOAMF stand for?

Best of  chronos the wonder pig
 "...and so, as an example of what's in store for all legal-Americans, I am taking your pizza to feed that busload of illegal-Americans...."

Best of  Dr. Doom
"Well folks I guess you could say my administration is like a $hit pizza at a Chinese restaurant," explained the President, "You order $hit pizza you eat $hit pizza..."

Best of  dadoctah
Even after being elected, twice, to the highest office in the land, Barry still remembers what it was like not to be allowed to eat lunch at the cool-kids table.

Best of  curly
    "Do you guys, have any, um, weed?"

Best of  Dr. Doom
"So your healthcare policy was cancelled, and you lost your job, and you are worried about your son in Afghanistan, and your energy bills have gone through the roof..." recited the President, "Can't you people whine about anything on the agenda? This is a Climate Change Photo Op people - my vacation was supposed to start 15 minutes ago. Chop chop - lets go..."

Best of  Mr Hankey
"And to conclude this death panel meeting, I think that those of you eating the Meat Lovers Pizza will not receive treatment, while the Veggie eaters get whatever they need...except for lard-ass sitting at the end of course."

Best of  chronos the wonder pig
"...and M'Chel wants to give each of you a talking shopping cart! It will keep you company when my policies make you homeless."

Best of  Steve O
Before we begin, I would like to take a moment to recognize that a plane has crashed and to say that it might be tragedy. We don't know. We're trying to determine if anyone important was on board. That's our first priority. Our second priority to say, Susan that is a really nice blouse!

20 comments:

Double the U said...

Three pizzas for six people? Don't let Michelle see that.

Submariner said...

They don't have wang or dog on the menu?!?!
Let's continue this conversation at another dive...

Submariner said...

Excuse me for a minute; I have to go fill a glass for the Secretary of State...

Whacko said...

Mr. President, would you mind harassing some other table? We have friends that might come in and see us.

Anonymous said...

Nobody ruin this absolutely candid photo (none dare call it a photo op) by facing the camera or leaving to take a piss.

Whacko said...

Mr. President, what does SCOAMF stand for?

chronos the wonder pig said...

"...and so, as an example of what's in store for all legal-Americans, I am taking your pizza to feed that busload of illegal-Americans...."

chronos the wonder pig said...

Was this sausage pizza made with Kobe beef?

chronos the wonder pig said...

I hope that's Reggie under the table!

chronos the wonder pig said...

"...and like, as president, I get head of the line privileges in any restaurant!"

Dr. Doom said...

"Well folks I guess you could say my administration is like a $hit pizza at a Chinese restaurant," explained the President, "You order $hit pizza you eat $hit pizza..."

dadoctah said...

Even after being elected, twice, to the highest office in the land, Barry still remembers what it was like not to be allowed to eat lunch at the cool-kids table.

curly said...

"Do you guys, have any, um, weed?"

Anonymous said...

Human shields and the P.I.T.A. go together like blood libel and Hummus

Dr. Doom said...

"So your healthcare policy was cancelled, and you lost your job, and you are worried about your son in Afghanistan, and your energy bills have gone through the roof..." recited the President, "Can't you people whine about anything on the agenda? This is a Climate Change Photo Op people - my vacation was supposed to start 15 minutes ago. Chop chop - lets go..."

Mr Hankey said...

"And to conclude this death panel meeting, I think that those of you eating the Meat Lovers Pizza will not receive treatment, while the Veggie eaters get whatever they need...except for lard-ass sitting at the end of course."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Look, I hate to rush off and stick you middle class whites with the check but... oh, wait, no I don't. bwahahahahahah
SS Agent: Good one, boss. Never gets old.
SS Agent thawtbubble: Someone, please shoot me

chronos the wonder pig said...

"...and M'Chel wants to give each of you a talking shopping cart! It will come in handy when my policies make you homeless."

Steve O said...

Before we begin, I would like to take a moment to recognize that a plane has crashed and to say that it might be tragedy. We don't know. We're trying to determine if anyone important was on board. That's our first priority. Our second priority to say, Susan that is a really nice blouse!

Jay Guevara said...

"So why is it you honky polar bear mother******s are racist?"