Wednesday, August 06, 2014

The Moss Man Cometh

Brender

1. Tommy Wiseau's latest oeuvre: "Oh, hi, Swamp Thing."

2. Coming up next on BBC 2, the Doctor must save the world from an invasion of baseball-cap weaing Vegi-men.

3. Latest trend in hipster neighborhoods... walking organic salad bars.

4. Just proving Marvel still has some more barrels to scrape after Ant-Man comes out.

5. "OK, family, I'm off to Folsom Street. Make sure my inflatable butt cushion is ready when I get home. I'll be tender."

39 comments:

dadoctah said...

ORA: "Ch-ch-ch-chia!"

Anonymous said...

Expect nothing less from EU's governing body for public hygiene

Anonymous said...

Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to funk yourself up some. And while you're at it, those girls shouldn't leave home without gunk too.

Anonymous said...

No one crashes weddings like good old Peat.

Anonymous said...

Puny earthlings, kneel before Sod.

Anonymous said...

Progressive Flo never married her life partner, Miracle Gro

Anonymous said...

Ohmstead's first idea before imagining NYC's Central Park was a touch more libertarian than you'd expect

Anonymous said...

Bro, that ain't gonna dissuade your bisexual girlfriend from munching carpet

Anonymous said...

I am Lrrr, Ruler of Omicron Persei 8!

Anonymous said...

Some boggled bitch at the farmer's market stole my wang, and people tell me she brandishes it to strangers in produce aisles. Have you seen her?

Kaptain Krude said...

"I'm just an Ent, looking for the Entwives. Seen any around here?" The local production of Lord of the Rings didn't quite have Peter Jackson's magic touch.

Kaptain Krude said...

The wait for healthcare at the VA hospital was so long...

(how long was it?)

It was so long, that the VA hospital only planted 6 trees on the property but had 7 before too long.

(Sorry, if you are looking for a funny punchline to that, you are sadly mistaken. Sadly, sadly mistaken.)

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Branding Jumps the Shark
Netflix & Safeway produced the sequel to Invaders from Mars in limited release... you have to watch it on shopping cart monitors.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

#$&!~% ORA correction
Branding Jumps the Shark
Netflix & Safeway produced the sequel to Invasion of the Body Snatchers in limited release... you have to watch it on shopping cart monitors.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

#$&!~% ORA correction 2
yep, I misfiled the branding jumps shark caption above... should have been on the MILF zucchini photo page.


Google just can't seem to avoid controversy.... here we see their new Organic Googlegaiaview just before his arrest for stalking.

-OR-

The FTC is rethinking its approval of the Rogaine - Scott's Fertilizer merger.


Rodney Dill said...

Hashish
Gesundheit

Rodney Dill said...

Now where the F--- did your father go again?

Rodney Dill said...

Domo-Kun and the Domo-Kunts

Rodney Dill said...

I hope no ones been playing with your giant zucchini again Ralph.

dadoctah said...

Number One: The Larch. The Larch.

The Larch.

USMC2841 said...

Oscar had to short sell the trashcan. The recession has even hit Sesame Street.

jimmy said...

In Kate and Jeffrey's acrimonious divorce, she got the kids and the house, but he got the lawn.

Dr. Doom said...

Rejected by the O-care Death Panel, Bob's yeast infection would eventually do him in...

Dr. Doom said...

"Hey have you people seen a pansy-goon riding a pink bike around here," asked the Gilly suited paparazzo? "I need to get more pictures of him for Amerikkka's Least Wanted..."

jimmy said...

It all makes sense now. The shooter wasn't on the grassy knoll. The shooter WAS the grassy knoll!!

dadoctah said...

"Hi, I'm running for governor of this state as your Green Party candidate...."

Is there some reason I have to keep typing "Photo Sphere" to prove I'm not a robot?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Military Cost Sharing - Ex. #274.064/b9~z
When ground troops unanimously rejected the US Army's latest WINTER camouflage pattern, NAVLANT scooped up the uniforms at a Filene's Basement sale in preparation for a possible future amphibious assault on the Sargasso Sea.

-OR-

Jerry would rue the day he ignored Kramer's old wives tale about shaved hair growing back in thicker.
ORA Seinfeld Chest Hair

Carpe Phlogiston said...

@dadoctah
according to a response to a similar question on another forum, it seems the tireless efforts of the scumbags at google to monetize everything now include running ads as captcha challenges. Note the workaround:
https://productforums.google.com/forum/#!topic/blogger/hKezlRMEaJs

another way too coincidental
WordVerify: entrider

Dactyl said...

*REALLY* ORA:
As the rest of the Civic Minded Five follows the Tick and Arthur into battle, Carpeted Man rushes to catch up. Alas, he would once again be felled by his nemesis, heat exhaustion.

Dactyl said...

Oh, High there. I'm just on my way to Bud and Mary Jane's Joint to Hash out the music to Puff the Magic Dragon. To be Blunt, it doesn't end with Doobie, Doobie, Doo. Gotta be there by 4:20!

The Expendable said...

The new mascot of the Denver Nuggets, "Bud Nugget", is available for school appearances, corporate functions, and private parties.

metalgarth said...

Why yes! I did just come back from Ed's garden supply in Ferguson, MO. Why do you ask?

curly said...

“Save us, Wheatgrass man! My chewing gum fell through the sewer grate and was carried off by a foul smelling rat!”

curly said...

Thanks to Obama’s frequent golf outings, the Secret Service Presidential Protection Team’s ghillie suits soon consisted of little more than Home Depot sod and packing twine.

Submariner said...

I too dated a French girl that looked about like that...

Kaptain Krude said...

REALLY* ORA:
As the rest of the Civic Minded Five follows the Tick and Arthur into battle, Carpeted Man rushes to catch up. Alas, he would once again be felled by his nemesis, heat exhaustion.


You, sir, have just become my best friend!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Potpourri Man wanders the Streets of San Francisco. Not many take him up on his free scratch n' sniff offer.

-OR-

Ted's Mobile Pot Farm franchises never really caught on.

-OR-

Got Lichen?

Steve O said...

Well, he's NOT one of the Rolling Stones!

Submariner said...

Looks likes designers are starting to pitch their ideas for m'Chel's next State Dinner Ball Gown...