Friday, August 22, 2014

Why, Hello, Officer


1. "I'm at the Hyatt... Room 620... I've got poppers, nipple clamps... you name it."

2.  "I'm just gettin' some measurements 'cos I'm about to lay some pipe."

3. "Your head may shine, but your body is f-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ne."

4. "Are you from the ghetto cause I'm about to ghetto hold of that ass."

5. "You gonna write me a parking ticket, officer? Because you got fine written all over you."

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "Where da white women?"

Best of dadoctah
    Worst. Village People cover band. Ever.

Best of mega
"Don't go off the reservation, captain. They're ALL devils, and until we've killed every last one of them, our work is not done."

Best of Mr Hankey
Just give me 24 hours to come up with a brilliant idea to save our town. Just 24 hours. That's all I ask.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    I love this scene in Tropic Thunder where the black-face actor tries bullshitting the bewildered black guy.

Best of The Expendable
    "... and I command the spirit of tolerance for the white man to flee your body! Spirit of unity between the races BE GONE! In the name of black Jebus, you are healed!"

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "Bat Cave, 10 minutes!"

Best of curly
    "There's a riot in my pants..."

Best of Best of
    "And we're slow dancing, swaying to the music
    Slow dancing, just me and my guy
    Slow dancing, swaying to the music
    No one else in the whole wide world
    In the whole wide world"

Best of Jay Guevara
    "I wish I could quit you."

35 comments:

metalgarth said...

Hold'er? Hell no. He doesn't even like girls!

chronos the wonder pig said...

"Where da white women?"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"How would you like to be sheriff of Rock Ridge?"

dadoctah said...

Worst. Village People cover band. Ever.

mega said...

"Don't go off the reservation, captain. They're ALL devils, and until we've killed every last one of them, our work is not done."

mega said...

"Agreed. Niki Manaj's ass is phat."

mega said...

(whisper) "Don't look to your left. There's a tribble about to attack your shoulder."

Mr Hankey said...

Okay now you lead. 1, 2,3, 1,2,3...now promenade and dosey do,

Mr Hankey said...

It's Twue....it's twue!!!

Mr Hankey said...

Just give me 24 hours to come up with a brilliant idea to save our town. Just 24 hours. That's all I ask.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

You'll feel so much better once you accept it, boy. Say it with me, "I'm black and I want to rob, rape and riot with my bros." Say it, damn you!

-OR-

You know the black gangbangers around here, right? I'm stuck with a shitload of assault rifles in my van some damned Mexicans didn't pay for. Want to earn a quick finders fee?

Anonymous said...

I love this scene in Tropic Thunder where the black-face actor tries bullshitting the bewildered black guy.

Anonymous said...

Backbiter embraces backslider

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Wait. WAIT! Don't be that way. I paid for the meal so you OWE me a kiss... and I expect some tongue.

-OR-

Look, that bitch Wassermann-Shultz was lying about illegals being the backbone of the US economy. Don't take her words so personally! We both know black looters, pimps and drug dealers are the real backbone.
Tanks, Eric, iz 'preciate dat.

Anonymous said...

Just be sure to count the silver when he's gone.

Anonymous said...

Due process?! We don't need no stinkin' due process!

Anonymous said...

The Minstrel Music Man comes to Ferguson.

The Expendable said...

"... and I command the spirit of tolerance for the white man to flee your body! Spirit of unity between the races BE GONE! In the name of black Jebus, you are healed!"

Anonymous said...

Living on a prayer...rug

Anonymous said...

Hustler shakes good cents out of mark

Anonymous said...

Holder desires a pig in a poke

The Expendable said...

"... and when I count to three, you'll wake up. You will not remember my visit here. You will only feel an intense hatred for the white devil. One... Two... "

chronos the wonder pig said...

"Bat Cave, 10 minutes!"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"Obama wants to show you his putter...."

Dr. Doom said...

"Hmmm... looks like someone is running some guns here," said Mr. Holder appreciatively, "and trust me when I say I know a little about running guns myself..."

Dr. Doom said...

Whachu talkin' 'bout Willis?

Dr. Doom said...

"Psst, kill whitey. Pass it down," whispered the Attorney General...

Dr. Doom said...

Holder: "Is everything in readiness for the Exalted One's arrival brother?"
Security Chief: "Yes sir - all umbrellas are on lock down, every window has an agent standing in front of it, the backup eating shovel is stowed in the kitchen, and the pink bike has been lubricated."

curly said...

"There's a riot in my pants..."

Anonymous said...

"And we're slow dancing, swaying to the music
Slow dancing, just me and my guy
Slow dancing, swaying to the music
No one else in the whole wide world
In the whole wide world"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"Do you play golf?"

Anonymous said...

No, Mr. Holder. I cannot "cop a feel if you can feel a cop," so stop pressuring me or I'll blow my rape whistle again.

Anonymous said...

Alien vs. Predator

Jay Guevara said...

"I wish I could quit you."

Jay Guevara said...

"Let's go over this again. When the President takes off his smoking jacket, you're to ..."