Monday, September 22, 2014

Do I Make You Horny, Baby?

curly


1. "Awww, sheeet, those things just sprout up every time I tell a lie."

2. Standard Caption #5: "Ia! Ia! C'thulu F'taghan!"

3. "And with the latest brilliant proclamations of our amazing, fantastic goat-president, I'm Andrea Mitchell, MSNBC news."

4. "And so I have, um, resigned the presidency to, um, take over my new, um, position as um, Dilbert's boss."

5. ORA: "I take care of the, um, place while the, um, master is away."

Best of Rodney Dill
five
five dollar
five dollar footlong

Best of chronos the wonder pig
"...and under Obamacare's, if it lasts more than four hours we'll put up road signs!"

Best of Best of
I am not the, er, um, Anti-Christ!

Best of Submariner
I went to Bao Wow for lunch.
I ordered Schnauser and pumpernickle.
I KNOW Schnauser.
That was certainly NOT Schnauser!
I have directed Attorney General Holder to launch an investigation on Tuesday while I take Air Force One to St. Andrews...

Best of Dr. Doom
Many misinformed people think this is a picture of the Antichrist. Of course discerning monors know he is not the Antichrist. Rather what we see here is a picture of the Antipresident...

Best of metalgarth
Black Metal Album covers: UR DOIN' IT RONG

Best of curly
Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.

Best of The Expendable
"Three and a half years into his first term I noticed the horns. I knew then he was the Antichrist, but what was I supposed to do? Vote for a Mormon? Yeah, right."

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Good evening, my, um, fellow, um, Americans. I'd like to discuss with you tonight the most serious subject matter that we have ever had to face as a country. It's terrible, it's horrifying, and I cannot tell you how much it offends me. I'm talking, of course, about the alarming shortage of arugula."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
My fellow muslims... oops, CUT!

26 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Let's play TELEPROMPTER TRAITOR!
The new FOX game show premieres with the biggest traitor the country's ever seen. Next week's players: the entire US Congress!

-OR-

Average human head is only about yea big, so if every taxpayer bends over and spreads thems cheeks wide, it shouldn't hurt much when I shove yo assigned illegal up yo ass.

Rodney Dill said...

five
five dollar
five dollar footlong

Rodney Dill said...

ear tip to ear tip

chronos the wonder pig said...

"...and under Obamacare's, if it lasts more than four hours we'll put up road signs!"

Anonymous said...

Thousand yawn stare

Anonymous said...

They Live

Submariner said...

"So I, um, I, uh, I grabbed, um, m'Chel's upper arm, um, and pulled her from, um, the appetiser table..."

Submariner said...

"...and that's when Reggie, uh, uh, um, grabbed me by the, um, ears, and pulled me in, um close..."

Anonymous said...

If the opposition gains the entire legislature this November, there will be bills with his nix on to kick around.

Anonymous said...

Most days I just dream about lining up in I formation behind the center, putting my hands up under his towel...

Anonymous said...

Me so horny!

Anonymous said...

I am not the, er, um, Anti-Christ!

Submariner said...

I went to Bao Wow for lunch.
I ordered Schnauser and pumpernickle.
I KNOW Schnauser.
That was certainly NOT Schnauser!
I have directed Attorney General Holder to launch an investigation on Tuesday while I take Air Force One to St. Andrews...

Dr. Doom said...

Many misinformed people think this is a picture of the Antichrist. Of course discerning monors know he is not the Antichrist. Rather what we see here is a picture of the Antipresident...

metalgarth said...

Black Metal Album covers: UR DOIN' IT RONG

metalgarth said...

Oh, me so horny...Oh, me so horny...Oh, me so horny...Oh, me so horny...Oh, me so horny...

Submariner said...

I've decided to address this crisis in the middle east head on for a change. I've directed the Attorney General to suspend that pesky "establishment clause" in the 1st Amendment and have designated Isis to be the patron goddess of Amerikkka. Nancy Pelosi's title is now "High Priestess of Isis." MSNBC, you have the lead on the PR campaign.

curly said...

Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.

The Expendable said...

"I may have...umm... a cow at home... umm... but I'm the... biggest bull you'll ever meet."

The Expendable said...

"Three and a half years into his first term I noticed the horns. I knew then he was the Antichrist, but what was I supposed to do? Vote for a Mormon? Yeah, right."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Good evening, my, um, fellow, um, Americans. I'd like to discuss with you tonight the most serious subject matter that we have ever had to face as a country. It's terrible, it's horrifying, and I cannot tell you how much it offends me. I'm talking, of course, about the alarming shortage of arugula."

Kaptain Krude said...

"I have an important message for the terrorists. You can run, but you cannot hide. I will strike terror into your... heh, let me try that again. You can run, but you can't... heh. No, one more time, I'll get this..."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Watch the peanut!
Scientific American slow motion video of an Organ Grinder Monkey's HAND-EYE-MOUTH coordination.

-OR-

Like I told our metric-centric coalition partners, "If you, umm, give terrorists an inch, they'll, er, take a mile, so we'll only, uh, give 'em a, erm, centimeter."

Kaptain Krude said...

"....and in conclusion, a fence separating our southern border from the country that is to the south of us would be racist, ineffectual, and a complete waste of time. Therefore, we do not need to build such a fence.

In regards to the gentleman who jumped the White House fence and made it all the way to inside our front door, we will of course tighten security and maybe even look into building a better fence. Wait a minute... Val, I thought we agreed we were going to separate those two items with an announcement that someone's car was in the parking lot with the lights on? Val? Val?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"So then I, um, sez to Kobe, I, um, sez to him, 'Um, Kobe, um, I'm, um, I'm open.' But it was too late."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

My fellow muslims... oops, CUT!
Dammit Barack, what did we say about ad-libbing? Just read off the prompter!
My fellow Amerikans...

-OR-

OMG, I saw that podium rat again! His balls are bigger than 'Chel's!