Tuesday, September 02, 2014

DWS Meets the People



1. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz explains to her constituents about how Democrats "embrace different standards of beauty" and therefore she ought to be considered hot.

2. "Show us your tits!" "One more outburst like that, and I'll have you removed Mrs. Ferguson."

3. "... And for a donation of $500, you gain the use of one 'Get Out of the Death Panel' free card."

4. "Perhaps Mrs. Ferguson can answer the gentleman's question: Why *are* tits so great?"

5. "Now, I understand the gentleman in back with the turban has a question for the 'Zionist Kike-bitch."

Best of chronos the wonder pig
DWS tell the crowd how pleased she is to be at the Glory Hole Recreation Area, and how she can't wait to find a surprise around every corner.

Best of The Expendable
"... And as soon as they finished, the horrified theater manager said, 'My God, what do you call your act?', to which the man proudly answered, 'The Aristocrats!' ... The Aristocrats... anyone? Is this thing on?"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
It reportedly began as a soft chant in the far back corner, but soon the whole crowd at the Monkton Senior Living Center was yelling, TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF! at the new administrator. By the time SWAT arrived with their government-issued tank and crowd control flamethrowers, an hysterical Miss Smythers was down to just her panties and wristwatch. Seven seniors were treated for burns and rifle butt concussions. Eric Holder flew in to commend the police and give them another tank.

Best of Double the U
Yes,yes, the food and drinks are free and by free I mean you paid for it.

Best of curly
“In order for my speech here tonight to make sense, we’ve conveniently placed balloons of nitrous oxide around the room.”

Best of Dr. Doom
"And now, thanks to the President's community organizing skills, you can keep voting the ticket long after you are dead," explained Ms. Wasserman-Schultz...

Best of USMC2841
The Dem's plan to keep the Senate. "Now on your ballots er..Bingo Cards mark D-Michelle Nunn"

Gold Star Best of jimmy
DWS actually enjoys doing the nursing home circuit because they are more accustomed to the ravings of dementia patients.

Best of Mr Hankey
Sing "The Way We Were"!!!

Best of Best of
Will you please stop squawking and just give us our Liver Loaf. We were promised Liver Loaf. They woke us up from our afternoon nap because DWS said she was going to give us free liver loaf.
No Liver Loaf? No Peace. And no Senior Vote.
Guy in Blue Shirt... WTF is up wit yo hair?

Best of Submariner
DWS: "Vote straight Dem or you'll find out that Soilent Green is YOU people..."

Best of jimmy
"I have no idea what she's said so far; I am too distracted by that Adam's Apple. Man, it's like she's trying to swallow a tennis ball."

31 comments:

chronos the wonder pig said...

DWS tell the crowd how pleased she is to be at the Glory Hole Recreation Area, and how she can't wait to find a surprise around every corner.

The Expendable said...

"... And as soon as they finished, the horrified theater manager said, 'My God, what do you call your act?', to which the man proudly answered, 'The Aristocrats!' ... The Aristocrats... anyone? Is this thing on?"

The Expendable said...

"Joe told me to say hi to his old friend Chuck. Where are you, Chuck?"

The Expendable said...

ORA:

Old man in blue: "I'll have the soup."

Dr. Doom said...

Ms. Shultz is dispatched by the DNC to address the Garden Gnome Union to ensure they will stay in the fold for the upcoming mid-terms...

Dr. Doom said...

Ms. Shultz attends the Town Hall Meeting at the Villages to explain how the Obamacare Death Panels are really not all that bad...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

At the first Hillary for Bitchident whistle-stop, you could hear a pin drop as a crowd of Walmart shoppers - drawn by another false promise of a free lunch - waited motionless for 13 agonizing minutes as Chelsea tried to come up with one good reason to vote for her mother before she cleverly faked a fainting spell.

-OR-

It reportedly began as a soft chant in the far back corner, but soon the whole crowd at the Monkton Senior Living Center was yelling, TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF! at the new administrator. By the time SWAT arrived with their government-issued tank and crowd control flamethrowers, an hysterical Miss Smythers was down to just her panties and wristwatch. Seven seniors were treated for burns and rifle butt concussions. Eric Holder flew in to commend the police and give them another tank.

-OR-

DWS's mistake was trying to explain why each resident of the tiny village would be required to house, clothe and feed 3 illegals by quoting Blanc and Marx - "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need."
As she was thrown out of town, she kept crying, "but but but It's on Barack's Approved Rationalizations List!"

Double the U said...

Yes,yes, the food and drinks are free and by free I mean you paid for it.

curly said...

“In order for my speech here tonight to make sense, we’ve conveniently placed balloons of nitrous oxide around the room.”

Mr Hankey said...

I'm sorry that the spaghetti dinner did not include meatballs, but don't blame me as it's Bush's fault.

Mr Hankey said...

I've been with thousands of men, again and again, they promise the moon, they're always coming and going and going and coming... and always too soon.

Mr Hankey said...

So with the arrival of our undocumented workers, we know that you will all be willing to embrace them as they quickly murder the men and rape the women.

Dr. Doom said...

"And now, thanks to the President's community organizing skills, you can keep voting the ticket long after you are dead," explained Ms. Wasserman-Schultz...

Kaptain Krude said...

"Waldo? Waldo? Where's Waldo?" The audience's laughter told her that she had, yet again, fallen prey to the old Roll Call prank.

Anonymous said...

The Expendable, didn't you mean to say the man in blue wanted the soup sandwich???

USMC2841 said...

The Dem's plan to keep the Senate. "Now on your ballots er..Bingo Cards mark D-Michelle Nunn"

Jay Guevara said...

"Well, if there are no more questions, I'll just run along to do the same presentation to the black nursing home."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Underwhemed - typical audience reaction to the news that Joe Biden's the guest speaker.

-OR-

Voter Fatigue - palpable sign of futility observed in older Caucasians as the realization sinks in that the two-party system is a big fraud.

jimmy said...

DWS actually enjoys doing the nursing home circuit because they are more accustomed to the ravings of dementia patients.

Whacko said...

"No, I don't have time to cook. I have a "person" at home that does it for me and qualifies under 17 separate minority classifications."

Submariner said...

We'll start the bidding on this fine, er, adequate, ummmmmm human, uh, >shit...<
Who'll give $1000? Anybody? Anybody?
$500? No?
$100? C'mon guys...
$50? Damn - this is for the new Rec Center folks!
$10?
$5?!?
Heck you can have her clean the bathroom rather than take her out. Anything? Look guys; I ain't paying anybody to take this off my hands...

GregMan said...

An elderly Al Sharpton (front row, in blue shirt) begins to choke as he realizes he bet his race's future on a bunch of idiots like Wasserman-Schultz.

Mr Hankey said...

Sing "The Way We Were"!!!

Mr Hankey said...

From the front row, Buddy attempts to relay to Debbie that her neck flap is down.

Anonymous said...

Thawt bubble, man holding his neck.

"So, this is what that stuff called Dippity Doo does to your hair? No wonder I murdered my wife"

KWR

Anonymous said...

Will you please stop squawking and just give us our Liver Loaf. We were promised Liver Loaf. They woke us up from our afternoon nap because DWS said she was going to give us free liver loaf.

No Liver Loaf? No Peace. And no Senior Vote.

Guy in Blue Shirt... WTF is up wit yo hair?

Kaptain Krude said...

"Hey, that isn't Joan Rivers! You forgot about the mustache!"

Joan Rivers doesn't have a mustache.

"No, but you do!"





*What? Too soon?

Submariner said...

DWS: "Vote straight Dem or you'll find out that Soilent Green is YOU people..."

jimmy said...

"I have no idea what she's said so far; I am too distracted by that Adam's Apple. Man, it's like she's trying to swallow a tennis ball."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Dinner?? No dinner! You all can just sit here until someone confesses to short-sheeting Mrs. Farquar's bed.

-OR-

"So, after the waterboarding and cattle prod sessions, the GOP's Ghey Cures sex therapist smacked me on my forehead, yelled "Hallelujah! He's cured!" and asked the audience for donations. Six days later, I had these boobs inserted and my name legally changed to Dawn. Any questions?
Silence. Muffled coughs. Finally, Dub raised his hand and asked when she'd be having liposuction.
ATDHE

Carpe Phlogiston said...

I have good news and bad news...
The new mosque's cleric has agree to reduce the loud music and megaphone prayers by one decibel if we identify and stone the "whining infidels."
You're all being evicted next month so the state can house its "fair share" of Obamalama's new citizens.
Don't look at me that way, I'm just the messenger!

WordVerify: manyani rich - what people say upon learning the New Ager's net wealth