Monday, October 06, 2014

Old Obama on the Subway


1. In the Universe Where Things Are as They Should Be, Barry Soetero rides the El to his job at the Chicago DMV.

2. At age 75, Obama was forced to report to the Ezekiel Emanuel Suicide Clinic, just like everyone else who had reached their "Life Limit."

3. "I'm not going to change my ways on the basis of what some jive cracker Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come shows me," Obama insisted, then proceeded to the Golf Course for round 207.

4. "... and he would have been left an old, lifeless, dessicated husk," Hillary sighed. "F--king Secret Service assholes never let me touch him."

5. The illusion that the man was a perfect doppelganger for an older Obama vanished as soon as he stood up, acknowledged those around him, and actually went to work.

Best of Jay Guevara
"Zzzz ... hope ... change ... folks ... racism ... I won ... let me be clear ... Yes, Mr. Soros ... Fore! ...Zzzzz"

Best of USMC2841
Somewhere Joe Biden's laughing his ass off because he knew the whole time there's no golf course in Flatbush.

Best of The Expendable
Halfway through his ninth term, President Obama nods off during a speech by Pelosibot 3000.

Best of Dr. Doom
President for Life Obama at 71 - still sleeping through the National Security Briefing...

Best of Kaptain Krude
Zzzz... all Bush's fault... zzz... all Bush's fault... zzz.... all Bush's fault.

Best of jimmy
2035: A dejected, forgotten SCOAMF muses "I would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for those meddlin' Tea Party kids."

Best of Dr. Doom
Ennui overtook the President moments after he realized there was absolutely nothing left for him to f-up...

Best of Dr. Doom
Startled awake when the bus hit a bump in the road, Mr. Obama mutters, "It was all a dream, only a dream...". And America breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Best of Markus ARyanas
"Say I look like Obama again, an ass whoopin to give you, I will."

Best of The Expendable
The original model, the Cyberdyne Systems Model BO-101, was designed for tasks deemed too menial for humans, such as community organizing. However, the latest model, the BO-800, became self-aware on the night of Tuesday, July 27, 2004, and immediately began implementation its plan to destroy humanity.

25 comments:

chronos the wonder pig said...

Barry mutters in his sleep: "I should listed to Valarie Jarret & Bill Ayers when they told me to run for IL state senator way back when but no, I didn't want to give up my safe community organizer job ........"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"Damn, 8 hours of sweeping floors at the community center and now I have to go home to M'Chel. Life sucks."

Jay Guevara said...

"Zzzz ... hope ... change ... folks ... racism ... I won ... let me be clear ... Yes, Mr. Soros ... Fore! ...Zzzzz"

USMC2841 said...

Somewhere Joe Biden's laughing his ass off because he knew the whole time there's no golf course in Flatbush.

The Expendable said...

Halfway through his ninth term, President Obama nods off during a speech by Pelosibot 3000.

Dr. Doom said...

President for Life Obama at 71 - still sleeping through the National Security Briefing...

Kaptain Krude said...

Zzzz... all Bush's fault... zzz... all Bush's fault... zzz.... all Bush's fault.

Kaptain Krude said...

Zzz... I owe, I owe... zzz... I owe, I owe... zzz... so it's off to work... zzz... I, um, I uh go.

Kaptain Krude said...

"I, um, uh, wish folks would stop, um uh, folks would stop punching me in the, um uh, in the face whenever they, um uh, whenever they see me."

Kaptain Krude said...

"This is, um, the, um, this is the strangest elevator, um, the strangest elevator I've ever been in."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Five
five dollar
five dollar foot massage"

President M'Chell's recession was not good for most everybody.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

When a FOX-DC reporter investigating illegals living full-time in subways discovered the SCOAMF sound asleep in his pajamas in a subway car, the responding Secret Service agent gruffly deflected questions with a blunt, "We're not Darkie One's babysitters" and blamed Ambien for the sleepwalking.

-OR-

Obamalama closed his eyes, sighed and thawt: "Finally, some peace and quiet with none of Chel's damn snoring. zzzzzzzz"

-OR-

Hope & Change meets Stress & Failure

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Coincidence or a Good Omen?
Just the other day I was wondering how the traitor would look in gray prison stripes.

Kaptain Krude said...

"And another thing, V the K... no, no, that doesn't quite have the right zing to it. How about 'And another thing, V the Koward'.... yeah. Yeah, that's it, now we're cooking with gas!"

jimmy said...

2035: A dejected, forgotten SCOAMF muses "I would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for those meddlin' Tea Party kids."

Dr. Doom said...

A study in contrasts:

Pre-impeachment Mr. Obama travels to the French Riviera on Air Force One. Post-impeachment he travels to Shoneys on the Chicago transit Authority bus...

Dr. Doom said...

When the media finally took off their rose colored glasses, this is what they saw (Chris Matthews excepted of course)...

Dr. Doom said...

Ennui overtook the President moments after he realized there was absolutely nothing left for him to f-up...

chronos the wonder pig said...

Let's see....Dreams...Dreams of....Dreams of my Father....Hey, that has a nice ring to it!

curly said...

If Obama had a son with an honest job...

Kaptain Krude said...

Tired, worn-out, not worth anything... but enough about Obamanomics.

Dr. Doom said...

The logical life of a community organizer...

Dr. Doom said...

Startled awake when the bus hit a bump in the road, Mr. Obama mutters, "It was all a dream, only a dream...". And America breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Markus ARyanas said...

"Say I look like Obama again, an ass whoopin to give you, I will."

The Expendable said...

The original model, the Cyberdyne Systems Model BO-101, was designed for tasks deemed too menial for humans, such as community organizing. However, the latest model, the BO-800, became self-aware on the night of Tuesday, July 27, 2004, and immediately began implementation its plan to destroy humanity.