Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Mitch McMicrophone

Brender



1. Mitch McConnell's karaoke rendition of "Love Me Tender" was creepy; Harry Reid's rendition of "Like a Virgin" was creepier.

2. Apparently, Mitch was the only man in the room who didn't know Gavin Newsom had the mic last.

3. ♩ "Feelings... nothing more than... feelings..." 


4. Sadly, Obama doubted that McConnell really would be back to pick him up later.

Best of metalgarth
American Idol's ratings are so low that the only network that would carry it was CSPAN

Best of Dr. Doom
Mitch: "Mr President, elections have consequences."
Charlie: "Not for me they don't..."

Best of jimmy
"I write the bills that make the Whiiiite House cringe. I write the bills with pork and uuuuseless things...
"I write the bills that Haaaarry Reid can't kill....I write the bills, I wriiite the bills."

Best of Best of
[In a booming Foghorn-Leghorn voice] "Pay attention when I'm talking to ya, boy! Okay, I'll shut up. Some fellas have to keep their tongues flappin' but not me. I was brought up right. My pa used to tell me to shut up and I'd shut up. I wouldn't say nothin'. One time darn near starved to death. WOULDN'T TELL HIM I WAS HUNGRY!!"

Best of Kaptain Krude
"You'll get a 'harrumph' out of me, sir! 'Harrumph', I say, 'harrumph'! Sorry for that, folks, but politics is a nasty game!"

Best of The Expendable
Mitch's karaoke rendition of "Mammy" brought a tear to Charlie's eye, but Barack seethed to himself, "Damn him! He knew I had dibs on the Jolson medley!"

17 comments:

metalgarth said...

American Idol's ratings are so low that the only network that would carry it was CSPAN

Dr. Doom said...

Mitch: "Mr President, elections have consequences."
Charlie: "Not for me they don't..."

dadoctah said...

ORA: "Hey, good lookin', we'll be back to pick you up later!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Metalgarth surely earned Threadwinner for his caption.


So, Mr. Traitor, when we impeach your sorry ass and The People drag your spindly frame out of the White House, who ya gonna call, Ghostbusters?

-OR-

You're printing billions of US dollars of funny money to play Black Santa Claus in other nations.
How do you intend to repay all the jurisdictions here in this nation to cover the onerous burden you've dumped on them to warehouse millions of unwanted trespassers?

-OR-

Obamalama thawtbubble: Oh hell, how did Mitch get a White House Press pass?

jimmy said...

"I write the bills that make the Whiiiite House cringe. I write the bills with pork and uuuuseless things...
"I write the bills that Haaaarry Reid can't kill....I write the bills, I wriiite the bills."

[Arte Johnson hits the gong/audience applauds]

Anonymous said...

The Friars' Club takes off the kid gloves by naming Giggles McConnell the Obama roast's master of ceremonies.

Anonymous said...

There is no judging in the Obamacare Circle of Trust--and no repealing...and no defunding...and no reform

Anonymous said...

Whether or not it's racist to notice, that's quite a milquetoast tableau

Anonymous said...

Where's your lapel flair?! Don't you try passing off a substandard cufflink substitute in this dinner-theater playhouse, bub!

Anonymous said...

[In a booming Foghorn-Leghorn voice] "Pay attention when I'm talking to ya, boy! Okay, I'll shut up. Some fellas have to keep their tongues flappin' but not me. I was brought up right. My pa used to tell me to shut up and I'd shut up. I wouldn't say nothin'. One time darn near starved to death. WOULDN'T TELL HIM I WAS HUNGRY!!"

Steve O said...

Where will you be when your LSD kicks in?

Kaptain Krude said...

"You'll get a 'harrumph' out of me, sir! 'Harrumph', I say, 'harrumph'! Sorry for that, folks, but politics is a nasty game!"

Dr. Doom said...

"But if we flood Amerikkka with unskilled, under-qualified wage earners, won't our jobs be in jeopardy," asked the Senator?

Dr. Doom said...

As it turns out there was more stuff for the President to f*** up...

chronos the wonder pig said...

"You know Mr President, if you don't want to do your job, there is an illegal alien with amnesty waiting for it."

John Schneider said...

"I have your balls in my hand, Mr. President. Can I borrow them? I seem to have lost mine."

The Expendable said...

Mitch's karaoke rendition of "Mammy" brought a tear to Charlie's eye, but Barack seethed to himself, "Damn him! He knew I had dibs on the Jolson medley!"