Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Two Republican Turkeys


1. "Should I be this aroused looking at a dead turkey's butt?"

2. "This is just not as satisfying as killing Big Bird."

3. "Hunting is cruel, you say? Have you ever seen M'Chel bash their brains out with her eatin' shovel?"

Best of Best of
I see the turkey neck, but where is that old bird's wheelchair he shoved off the cliff?

Best of The Expendable
"DON'T COME IN HERE, HONEY!!! I'm just... I'm just... stuffing the turkey!

13 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Henry can make the tail feathers fan out with his one-fingered sphincter poke.
The animated gif is a lot funnier.

-OR-

Anthony Weiner making turkey giblets gravy = FAIL

-OR-

Prostate exam = U R Doing it Rong

Anonymous said...

I see the turkey neck, but where is that old bird's wheelchair he shoved off the cliff?

Anonymous said...

I don't need a taxidermist to mount my turkey.......

Anonymous said...

He granted amnesty to a poisoned arrow while championing Bow Hunting reform.

Anonymous said...

Unless the wife's holding the camera, you're interpreting the phrase, "shake a tail feather," too literally.

Dr. Doom said...

Unfortunately the President's amnesty was short lived for Tom Turkey. He was shot on the west lawn by an armed interloper while the Secret Service agents were discussing call girl strategy for the President's upcoming trip to Tijajuana for a much anticipated photo op...

Whacko said...

"Its more tender than the California Condor and tastier than the spotted owl," said the Greenpeace Director

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Delusional, out of touch Paul Ryan's alternative to a living wage sounds a lot like the moron Biden's solution to women who want to protect themselves from criminals - "Low wage earners could grab a shotgun, step out on the balcony of their tenement and shoot a turkey. It'll feed a family for a week!"

The Expendable said...

"DON'T COME IN HERE, HONEY!!! I'm just... I'm just... stuffing the turkey!

Dr. Doom said...

Stuffing your bird Enumclaw style...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Flipping the bird = U R Doing it Rong

-OR-

Hi ya folks! Martha Stewart couldn't make it so I'll be your host. First, I'll show you how to roast a lame duck with a few turkey metaphors.

Mr Hankey said...

I'm pretty sure that's a union bird

Carpe Phlogiston said...

I thought turkeys could fly.
ORA ♩ ♫ WKRP in Cincinnati ♪ ♬