Wednesday, December 17, 2014

No Perve Like an Old Perve


1. "Back off, Cankles, I saw them first."

2. Once again, BJ Clinton wins at "Find the Whore."

3. "Hey, Babe, wanna play 'sorting hat?' You sit on my face and tell me which hole I'm going in."

4. "Hillary says we need to empathize with our enemies; can I help it if my enemy is a lesbian who likes blonds with big tits?"

5. "Yes, they are spectacular. I'll let you know in a minute if they're real."

Best of chronos z. wonderpig
"We meet in the Detroit Lions parking lot!"

Best of chronos z. wonderpig
"She thinks I'm Ray Bradbury!"

Best of Double the U
I love these Secret Service "Silent Santa" gifts.

Best of Best of
Isn't that sweet, Hillary gor Bill a new humidor for Christmas!

Best of Dr. Doom
"Well we are going to pin the tail, Shundra," explained Mr. Clinton, "but we won't need a donkey..."

Best of Best of
Ukraine's anal gang-bang starlet, Svetlana, does unspeakable things to escape her war-torn home.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Slick Willy channels Chuck Heston -
“I have only five words for you, Hillary: From my cold, dead hands.”

Best of  Best of
Close but no Cigar.

Best of Rodney Dill
Just one word -- Scotchguard

38 comments:

RonF said...

Bubba celebrates his latest endorsement deal: "Real Dolls"

"Remember boys, you own the dress and they don't do interviews!"

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"We meet in the Detroit Lions parking lot!"

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"Finally, a gift me & Hillary can share!"

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"She thinks I'm Ray Bradbury!"

Double the U said...

I love these Secret Service "Silent Santa" gifts.

Anonymous said...

Isn't that sweet, Hillary gor Bill a new humidor for Christmas!

Dr. Doom said...

Bill (aloud): "Look Hillary. I found you a new intern"
Bill (silent): "Oh please, oh pleaze, oh please..."

Dr. Doom said...

"Well we are going to pin the tail, Shundra," explained Mr. Clinton, "but we won't need a donkey..."

Dr. Doom said...

Looks like Mr. Clinton has lined up his date to Edwin Edwards' Christmas Ball...

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"Don't worry honey, they can only test blue dresses...."

Mr Hankey said...

Oh...I'm just hiding from this nasty North Koreans honey...

Anonymous said...

POTUS Coitus by Duress (PCD), a chronic affliction. Also known as "the rub that dare not speak its name." Archaic: rape.

Anonymous said...

Ukraine's anal gang-bang starlet, Svetlana, does unspeakable things to escape her war-torn home.

Anonymous said...

Al Sharpton's Disease (ASD) is marked by a wasting away of the body and any vestiges of shame, giving the sufferer both a gaudy bobble-head appearance and its poverty of inner redeeming substance. Involuntary, tacky leakages ooze from its joints with regularity, often mistaken for Al Roker Syndrome Extremis (ARSE). However, the discharges in the latter are primarily in hues of brown.

Anonymous said...

The sanctions against Russia bear fruit the first black president can savour

chronos z. wonderpig said...

the girl with the rack confuses Bil Clinton with Bill Cosby

Anonymous said...

Ivanka secures a key endorsement for Trump's presidential bid and a case of herpes

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Slick Willy channels Chuck Heston -
“I have only five words for you, Hillary: From my cold, dead hands.”

-OR-

Girl, sounding like The Fly: help me! help meeeee!

Anonymous said...

Close but no Cigar.

Rodney Dill said...

You've got to know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away. And know when to run.

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"...and Hillary told me that this girl was a natural blond!"

Dr. Doom said...

"Hey baby, want to come back to my suite and check out my new Christmas lights," offered Mr. Clinton?

Kaptain Krude said...

"It's not what you think, guys," BJ Clinton said to the assemblage. "This young lady was helping me out by bringing over two cups. Of sugar. Yes, that's it, two cups of sugar. Isn't that right, sugar-tits?"

Amazingly, 99% of Democrats forgave him for such a slip. I mean, a slip of the tongue. I mean... aw dammit!

The Expendable said...

ORA:

"MR. PRESIDENT! That's not my belly button!"

"Surprise, surprise... that ain't my thumb either."

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"Hey, I can only be impeached once!"

jimmy said...

Is this one of those commercials for Viagra or Valtrex?

chronos z. wonderpig said...

True story -
The girl in the picture is married to the grandson of Richard Nixon (son of Tricia Nixon Cox).
After meeting Bill Clinton she filed for divorce ..........

chronos z. wonderpig said...

read all about it

http://nypost.com/2014/12/17/catsimatidis-daughter-files-for-divorce-from-husband-of-3-years/

They filled for divorce 2 days ago!

chronos z. wonderpig said...

with link

files for divorce after meeting Clinton

Steve O said...

Bill, Bill, Bill... you remember how the LAST one of those turned out!

Rodney Dill said...

Just one word -- Scotchguard

Rodney Dill said...

"No really... she's my niece."

chronos z. wonderpig said...

Hillary saw this picture and commented "What does it matter."

Rodney Dill said...

"I'm tryin' to get in touch with my feminine side.... I just can't stop touching it."

The Expendable said...

"DON'T COME IN, HONEY!!! I'm just... I'm just... uhh... polling the constituency. Yeah."

Kaptain Krude said...

Assassinating BJ wouldn't be hard; one well-aimed blonde would do it, as illustrated above.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

A CLINTON SANDWICH
No wonder the girl looks scared. Bill's blocking her escape and this is what she sees coming towards her.

-OR-

Penny Marshall reluctantly agrees to play Laverne De Fazio one more time because Slick always wanted to be Squiggy.

chronos z. wonderpig said...

I'll call her mini-Monica!