Saturday, December 06, 2014

Saturday



Best of dadoctah
"Welcome to Hogwarts Remedial studies."

Best of Jay Guevara
After CNN, Candy Crowley moved up to a janitorial engineering position.

Best of jimmy
That'll teach Gertrude not to give her gastric bypass surgeon the brush-off so quickly.

Best of The Expendable
Don't even ask where Hazel keeps her feather duster...

Best of Kaptain Krude
"'Arry Potter? Why, 'e went that-a-way, 'e did. Flew right under me tits, 'e did, so Oi knocked 'im right off and caught 'is broom, Oi did!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Sony execs deny producing it, can't even explain how the comedy was released under their logo. They're blaming N. Korean hackers for "BIG KNOBS & BROOMSTICKS."

29 comments:

dadoctah said...

"Welcome to Hogwarts Remedial studies."

Jay Guevara said...

After CNN, Candy Crowley moved up to a janitorial engineering position.

The Expendable said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chronos the wonder pig said...

Witch on a broom - u r doing it wrong

Dr. Doom said...

'Ow to speak Australian - Dust Buster...

Dr. Doom said...

What happens when you don't read the information labels on your purchase from Butt Drugs...

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

Granny wanted to see if she'd pass the "pencil test..."

jimmy said...

That'll teach Gertrude not to give her gastric bypass surgeon the brush-off so quickly.

The Expendable said...

Don't even ask where Hazel keeps her feather duster...

metalgarth said...

Hillary "thought" she had finally hired a maid that Bill would not be interested in. (also works if you say "Shannon Tweed" and "Gene Simmons")

Rodney Dill said...

Witchcraft - Ur doin it rong

Anonymous said...

Yet another failure in the latest Democratic job training program.

Mr Hankey said...

Julie is able to brush off comments on her appearance.

Mr Hankey said...

Lena Dunham's remake of the "Wizard of Oz" had a new Wicked Witch.

Kaptain Krude said...

Gertrude has been waiting for her shovel-ready job for a long, long time now.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Oi was inspired by that Michelle Obama, Oi was," Gertrude confessed. "Oi figured if she could fit a whole shovel in 'er mouth, the least Oi could do was fit a sweeper under me tits!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"'Arry Potter? Why, 'e went that-a-way, 'e did. Flew right under me tits, 'e did, so Oi knocked 'im right off and caught 'is broom, Oi did!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Sony execs deny producing it, can't even explain how the comedy was released under their logo. They're blaming N. Korean hackers for "BIG KNOBS & BROOMSTICKS."


After failing to attract money for her backpack broom sling via Kickstarter, Bertha went back to her old way of lugging it around despite the inevitable broken lamp and poked eye.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

IN THIS ISSUE!
Plus Size cover model Felicia Winkelbaum offers tips for Perfect Posture.

-OR-

Hear that scream? Dub's night terrors have returned.

Carpe PHlogiston said...

Legal News
Roofing tile companies filed Friend of the Court briefs opposing Ethel's employment discrimination suit against Prancing Chimneysweeps LLC.

-OR-

Meet the reason OSHA mandates warning sticker on the top rung of stepladders.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

So, I guess VtheK is trying to make up for the Thursday Mammary mix-up?

Steve O said...

And she can't find her dog either.

The Expendable said...

...releasing a mighty grunt, with a quick flex of her powerful pectoralis major, Hazel snaps a broom in half. She called this trick "the showstopper", and it's what made her the belle of the second annual "Maids and Slopworkers Local 503" ball.

Rodney Dill said...

Thar she blows!

-or-

Call me Ishmael

Rodney Dill said...

Bend and.... SNAP

curly said...

Apparently Judith thinks a ‘boob job’ means getting employment for her mammaries.

curly said...

Judith’s compensation package for being the human hitching post for Nancy Pelosi’s witch’s broom was actually quite lucrative.

Carpe Phlogiston said...


Das ist Komischer Als eine Situationskomödie!
Doktors at the Institut für Leute mit Kartoffelgehirnen spend their coffee breaks looking through the one-way glass at patients.