Friday, January 31, 2014

Bieber Buddies



1. "I'll be in my bunk," Harry Reid announced after seeing the latest Justin Bieber and brother pic.

2. Before you caption this, ask yourself, "Am I willing to report to the local police and post signs outside my house every time I move for the rest of my life."

3. Please, someone, Photshop Pajama Boy into this, I'll pay you.*

4. So, are you dumb tween girls going to take the effing hint, yet?

5. "Don't worry, Justin, it happens to all men sometimes."

* in naked hugs. 

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Smilin' Joe

video


1. Joe spots Sandra Fluke flashing the goods from the third row.

2. The precise moment his Ecstasy Suppository kicks in.

3. Forget clowns, if you want something REALLY creepy at your next children's birthday party...

4. "Wait 'til they get a load of me!"

5. Biden never realized the pills Barry's dealer sold him for $20 a pop were actually Altoids.

Best of Jack Reacher
The guy from Carmine's Auto Detail signals Biden that his Trans Am is done, and looking SWEET.

Best of metalgarth
    "He's Mr. Winter Storm Anus, he's Mr. Cold...."

Best of Dr. Doom
    "Looks like Chris Matthews slipped under the wrong desk..."

Double Your Pleasure, Jabba


Best of metalgarth
    It was win-win. Han could marry the real one and Luke could get it on with someone other than his sister.

Best of dadoctah
    "No, there is another...."

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "this time I get R2D2 and his special attachments....."

Best of Dr. Doom
    Leia 1: "Oh BTW, did you find those 'droids' we were looking for?"
    Leia 2: "Yes I'm using them now..."

Best of Submariner
    So Solo is standing there all proud of it, and I say to him; "Was your daddy an Ewok?" The poor little thing just wilts on the vine, if you get my drift...

Best of Dave P
    'ow to speak Australian: 'Smorgasbord'.

Best of dadoctah
    I got a bad feeling about this. Bad and throbbing.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Couch Talk






1. "How many, um, apples do you think I could, um, fit in my butt?"

2. "Well, just do a global search and replace 'comrades standing together in glorious solidarity against the running dog capitalists' with 'my fellow Americans.'"

3. The White House photographer photoshopped out the figure of a supine John Boehner and replaced it with a coffee table.

Threadwinner: Dr. Doom
"So I said to Michele after my last Safe Schools Czar was indicted," explained the President, "I can't think of anyone better to replace him than Chaz Bono. When can you start?..."

Best of Double the U
So Billy, if I buy 7 million cases of Oxy-clean and 300,000 Flex-hoses that will stimulate the economy?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Where Are They Now #584: Al Borland traded in his plaid shirt to sell insurance. Despite Al's promise that if Barack liked the policy he could keep it, the underwriters would soon cancel it. Kinda ironic, now that you think about it.

Best of dadoctah
Alternate version: Harold and Kumar decide to stay in and not go to White Castle after all.

Best of USMC2841
"I shit you not. This is the same couch. Bill was sitting right here and Monica was where you are."

Best of GregMan
    "No, first we destroy the middle class, then we establish dictatorship-by-pen."

Best of Dr. Doom
'You are right comrade," replied the President, "Our profiles on SocialistMingle.com are almost perfectly compatible..."

Best of Submariner
"The same thing we try to do EVERY night, blackie;  try to take down the United States of Amerikkka for good!"

Monday, January 27, 2014

Black Rubber and Buttocks; They're Cops!



1. High winds led to some unfortuante fashion incidents at the Grammies.

2. Why you shoud never enter a Stargate through the backside.

3. By the time he had finished putting together the latest Acme contraption, Wile E. Coyote had completely forgotten *how* it was supposed to trap the Road Runner.

4. As another Phys. Ed. teacher was sucked into its event horizon, the school board once again wondered why they had purchased the black hole in the first place.

5. Sandra Fluke Diaphragm achieves sentience; craves human flesh.

Best of Double the U
    Those new micro-apartments in New York city are small, but heat is included.

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    Just another Winter Storm Anus

Best of Whacko
    The CIA tried several iterations before choosing the final "cone of silence" design.

Best of USMC2841
    MGM has announced its plan to cast Rosie O'Donnell in "The Seven Year Bitch".

Best of Dr. Doom
According to Fox News the latest pillory design for use in Chelsea is a dismal failure. According to the Village Voice it is FABULOUS...

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Hey, come give me a hand. Ol' Joe Biden was playing on the trampoline again and, well... see for yourself."

Best of dadoctah
    And this, boys and girls, is why you should never play Portal during an electrical storm.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    I just don't get BDSM.

Best of Best of
    The source of Matt Drudge's recent cryptic "have an exit plan..." tweet.

Best of Steve O
    Sandra would sometime hog the heat from the register. (Yes, THAT Sandra.)

Best of Submariner
    Eddie Valiant tries to back his way out of an Acme Portable Hole.

Best of Markus ARyanas
    After his appointment, they made sure he didn't chew on the infection.

Friday, January 24, 2014

M'Chel Visits Subway

HT: Sooper Mexican 

1. M'Chel got more than she asked for when she asked to see the clerk's "Five dollar foot long."

2. "You call that gagh fresh? It's barely moving!"

3. "How about I just open my mouth real wide and you just shovel it the f--k in!"

Nightmare Fuel

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Meanwhile, Back in South Chicago



Best of Submariner
    Actually, the boy isn't being disciplined. He's experiencing his first glory hole...

Best of Kaptain Krude
    If Obama had had a son like Treyvon, this is how M'chelle would have looked.

Crooked Politician



1. Abortion Barbie limbers up for her meeting with Bill Clinton.

2. "Maybe I went a little overboard on the boob job."

3. Abortion Barbie liked to sneak into the Texas legislature after hours and queef on her opponents' desks.

4. "Guess I went a little heavy on the hairspray today."

5. Abortion Barbie demonstrates her position on women's issues.


Best of metalgarth
    Abortion Barbie shows you her Big Beaver Road.

Best of metalgarth
    Since Abortion Barbie got a job at Megafucks, business is down by 86%.

Best of Whacko
    My political career is down here somewhere.

Best of Submariner
Wendy shows the proper feminist deference to a sugar-daddy who's paying for your Harvard education.
    Of course, then it's "hasta la vista, baby" the day AFTER his final payment on your bill...

Best of jimmy
    Abortion Barbie is seen on the legislature floor, twisting herself into increasingly bizarre shapes as she attempts to explain her way out of recent revelations.

Best of Best of
    Theocrats done gave me the osteoporosis!

Best of Steve O
    That might not be how you get IN to Harvard, but it's one way to pay for it.

If you say so...

Brender


Best of mklasing
    Sadly only two protesters showed up at the "Gay, pro-Indian, anti-racism, Nazi Youth Rally"

Best of Dr. Doom
If Britain's Top Model was crossed with Monty Python's Flying Circus, the Ministry of Silly Walks would look something like this...

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The Real Enterprise Holodeck Menu



Best of Submariner
    Watch Wesley clean Ferengi toilets,

Best of Submariner
    Blow up Traveler with photon torpedoes.

Best of dadoctah
    Not shown due to diminished popularity:
    Bone Counselor Troi's mother.
    Bone the Duras sisters.
    Cmdr Data's poetry slam.
    Go on a real away team wearing a red shirt.
    Leg wrestle with Reg Barclay.
    A Day at the DMV with Dr Bashir.

Best of Dr. Doom
    Also not shown:
    Mr. Worf's Adventures on Big Beaver Rd...
    Captain Kirk and Yeoman Rand - Old School...   
Lt. Yar and the Ferengi Surprise...
    Q and Locutus an Introspective (caution ghey)...
    Mr. Data Gets His Hard Drive Wiped Right Down to the Core Clusters...

Best of dadoctah
    Keeping Up With The Cardassians.

Best of Submariner
    Also not shown due to diminished popularity:
    - Help Mr. Worf remove his "Klingons"
    - Bone Guinan
    - Hanging out with Sulu at Fire Island (caution - ghey)
    - Wesley Crusher recites the greatest Volgon poets (caution - last rites required before selecting)

Best of GregMan
    - Pretend "Star Trek: Enterprise" Never Happened

Best of Submariner
    - Put Wesley in a photon torpedo case and fire at the nearest star.

The Olympic Spirit



Monday, January 20, 2014

Slow Joe at the Auto Show

Jalopnik via Divine Miss M.

1. In Biden's addled-memory, it was 1996 all over again, and he was a young Canadian girl named Alannis Morrisette."

2. "No 8-Track tape player? What a rip!" It had been a long time since Slow Joe had sat in the front seat of a car.

3. Instinctively, Biden activates the left turn signal and leaves it on for the rest of the day.

4. Her: "And this safety device detects farmers' markets within a five mile radius and shuts the car down if the driver is over 70."

5. Slow Joe unzipped his pants. "The Government paid $25 Billion to bail out your shitty-ass car company. Now you will blow me.."

Best of GregMan
    "So how do I make it turn into a giant robot?"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
3 pedestrians, a bicyclist, 1 dog and a totaled car in a ravine. The consequences of distracted driving when Joe mistakes the GPS map for an arcade game and guides the little dot into a hole.

Best of dadoctah
When Veeps cosplay: nobody would have guessed Joe would want to be Electra-Woman. Not even the new Dyna-Girl.

Best of metalgarth
    Failed pickup line # 246787: So baby, wanna take a drive down Big Beaver Rd?

Best of Dr. Doom
    Fast and Furious meets Slow and Curious...

Best of Dr. Doom
   "I bet this will go 0 to 60 faster than Sandra Fluke can hit her knees in a fraternity house," calculated the Vice President.

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "Here, pretend you are Feinstein...."

Best of Submariner
    "...and that is how you program an address into the nav system! What's Avalon Manor?"

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Pure Nightmare Fuel


Best if Dr. Doom
    $ex Toy Infomercial
    "...we have replaced Senator Feinstein's microphone with a phallus, let's watch and see if she notices..."

Best if Nate
    Great. Just great. I thought I was all done with having to see that psychiatrist. #!$%#!!!

Best if chronos the wonder pig
    Wait until you she her show of affection for Hillary!!

Best if Kaptain Krude
 "Great, there goes the last lingering shreds of my heterosexuality," said every male on Earth.

Best if Kaptain Krude
    "Hey Ray Bradbury, look what I can do!"
    ("Thank God I'm dead", Ray Bradbury gratefully thought.)

Best if Submariner
    "...and so I propose we replace every weapon in Amerikkka with one of these; there will be no more crime!"

Best if Dr. Doom
"...and so I say categorically to my friends across the aisle, we will not repeal Obamacare. Furthermore we senators will maintain our own elite healthcare coverage," orated Ms. Feinstein, "So suck it Amerikkka!"

Best if Jay Guevara
    "Is this thing on?"

Best if metalgarth
    Penal Code. You keep using that phrase. I don't think it means what you think it means.

Friday, January 17, 2014

FPR



Bill and Hill were very disappointed that this sign didn't mean what they thought it meant.



Best if Dr. Doom
    In San Francisco, these three things do not go together...

Best if dadoctah
    For anyone who's actually heard them, these tickets are *still* overpriced.

Best if Carpe Phlogiston
    Isn't that another name for a half off sale at Filene's Basement?

Best if Jack Reacher
    That's how they hook you; they lock you into a contract for 24 more months of pussy riot.

Best if Submariner
 What happens amongst the paparazzi whenever Paris Hilton gets out of a cab while clubbing.

Best if Artfldgr
    A well placed comma makes all the difference!!!
    FREE PUSSY, RIOT!!


In Memorium: Russell Johnson


1. "Whore."

2. "Well, it has been scientifically proven that Gingers lack souls."

3. And then the professor had his brilliant revelation. "Coconuts! Of course! You can make anything out of coconuts!"

4. "So, would you be up for a hot 3-way with 'and the rest?'"

5. "So, as long as we're stuck here, I've decided to start the Dharma Initiative."

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Meanwhile, on a Bridge in New Jersey


1. "Yeah, Clarence ain't coming. He said the world would be better off if neither one of us had been born."

2. Once again, Chris Chreosote blocks two lanes of bridge traffic.

3. "Yes, this is Sh-t Creek. And neither one of us brought a paddle."

4. What a horribly missed opportunity for a 'Space Mutiny'-style rail kill.

5. "Look, instead of going to all this trouble, why don't we just see if Hillary weighs the same as a duck?"

Best of chronos the wonder pig
In the Dinner Theatre version of Get Shorty, Fat Man as Chili Palmer gets ready to push Little Boy as Bo Catlett over the railing.

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "Hey Barry, are the rumors that you prefered older white men at Man Country true?"

Best of Jay Guevara
    "I wish I could quit you."

Best of jimmy
Christie (to himself): "One good shove and I'll manage to be Public Enemy Number One, AND the most popular man in America. Has anyone ever managed to do THAT?"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Barack, you idiot, why meet here? Have you seen the load limit for this bridge?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    CC: Sorry I'm late, I had to drain the lizard.
    BO: Good grief, this was a dry stream bed a few minutes ago!

Best of of
    The media sees Officer and a Gentleman; to anyone else it's Thelma and Louise.

Best of Best of
    Bitch Cassidy and the Lardass Kid

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "I'd push you over Mr President but Joe Biden scares me....."

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Good Advice

Chronos 


Protection

Brender 


1. Someone's ready for Hillary.

2.  And number 4,544 on the list of things that look less faggoty than a fanny pack.

3. Yeah, taking romantic advice from a Justin Timberlake skit ... in real life... it gets you a restraining order.

4. Those boots and that box with that scarf? Bitch accessorizes worse than Pelosi.


5. Sensible outerwear for a stroll around one of the better neighborhods in Detroit.



Best of Submariner
OK, Dawn, I'm ready to go to the New Orleans Old Navy's Black Friday sales...

Best of Submariner
    Yes Mr. Fwank; somebody DID warn me about accepting your dinner invite.

Best of Whacko
    Snipers in Syria are fond of executing the "crotch shot," hence the protection.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    The location makes sense. Nothing in his head needs shielding.

Best of dadoctah
    LARPing: ur doin it rong.

Best of Dr. Doom
    "Challenge accepted," muttered Gunny Jones as he dialed in his scope...

Best of Submariner
Evidently, Ibrahim drew the short straw and was assigned the survey post at the corner of John R and 8 Mile Rd.

Best of Jack Reacher
    Achmed loves approaching unveiled women and saying "Your package has arrived."

Best of Jack Reacher
    A Republican prepares to be interviewed on MSNBC.


Monday, January 13, 2014

10 Upcoming Gaffes from Biden's Trip to Israel for Ariel Sharon's Funeral


1. Is offered tour of Wailing Wall. Asks where the whales are.

2. Asks his host "Where can a guy get a good cheeseburger around here?"

3. "So, you guys are basically 'European' when it comes to groping women, right?"

4. During Eulogy, invites Sharon to "Stand up and let 'em see ya."

5. "Thank you, thank you. I gotta tell ya' it's really great to be in Indiana again..."

6. Asks to see the Tomb of Baby Jesus.

7. "So, I hear thi Sharon fella was a Tank Commander. Did he know Mike Dukakis?"

8.  "Hey, what's with the black beanies?"

9. "So, when can I meet that 'Don't Mess with the Zohan Guy?'"


10. "Some of my best friends are you people."


Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "Barry wants to know why you are still on the map....."

Best of GregMan
    "So do you Joos really run the world? Can you get me a pony?"

Best of Jay Guevara
    Asks to see the original "Protocols of the Elders of Zion."

Best of dadoctah
    "With Sharon gone, Ozzy must be devastated."

Best of Submariner
    Asks his host; "Where's the best restaraunt for bacon wrapped shrimp in Tel Aviv?

Best of Submariner
    During eulogy notes he's on his best behavior because doesn't want to offend "you people who REALLY crucify your opponents!"

Best of Dr. Doom
"And you should probably bring a covered dish," instructed the President, "If you are fast enough you can probably grab some of Michele's baby backs and sauce. Just toss 'em in one of those platinum chafing dishes you keep on Air Force 2. But make sure you get the dish back, you know how those people are..."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    So where do I get me one of them little holy bald spot hiders? Yeah, yamikies! Do you have a glow-in-the-dark version in extra large?

Best of Steve O
    Remind them that Jesus was technically only HALF Jewish.

Friday, January 10, 2014

The Banana Candle, an Unfortunate Desert Choice

Divine Miss M

Baby, it's cold outside


1. Mittens had only a few seconds to ponder the wall of ice before he was sucked into the Polar Vortex and never heard from again.

2. Somewhere, a SyFy Channel Bad Movie producer is looking at this and thinking... "Cat Glacier! The Icy Claws of Death," and telling his secretary to get a writer on line 2.

Best of dadoctah
In later years, his once-celebrated grumpiness gave way to a spirit of mere reflective melancholy.

Best of Best of
    Osh Kosh B'Gosh rolls out their LSD line

Threadwinner jimmy
    "Hee Haw for Cats" was an unexpected bright spot in an otherwise dismal ratings season for Animal Planet.

   Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Cat Thawtbubble: ♪ Green Acres is the place to be, Green Acres is the life for me. ♬
    Damn this earworm!

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    V the K's country cousin, Bubba the K, comes for a visit.

Best of GregMan
    "Ayup, gonna need the snow-blower today."
    When a Maine Coon cat gets into character, it GETS INTO CHARACTER.

Best of Dr. Doom
"Retire to Wisconsin they said. It will be great they said. Kind farmers will squirt milk into your mouth straight from the cow they said," thought Muffin, "Meanwhile that uppity ba$tard Morris is soaking up the sunshine in Florida..."

Best of Kaptain Krude
    Wear coveralls
    Stare out at the scenery
    Talk about health insurance.
    #Obamacare

Best of wiskers
    Meow-meow, meow, meow, meow.

Best of Submariner
    Speaking of ice cold pu$$ies, anybody heard the latest on Hillary's 2016 run?

Wednesday, January 08, 2014

Hood Ornament


Best of Dr. Doom
    I see the new PETA line of animal friendly Texas hood ornaments have arrived...

Best of holstein humor
Steve the hipster bought a cow because he wanted fresh milk for breakfast and also because he wanted to impress his lady friends. Ironically, Steve purchased a steer by mistake and then had to endure endless "steers are for queers" jokes.

Best of Kaptain Krude
    "I have never felt so steer!"




    Sorry, sorry, so very sorry about that.

Best of curly
    Isn’t it a bit early for all of this subliminal “Vote For Hillary In 2016” messaging already?

Best of andthenblammo!
    "I told the service advisor I had a beef with the steering!"

Best of Submariner
    I don't think you quite understand how you play "chicken."

Best of andthenblammo!
    "That's EAT more chiken, not PLAY more chiken, you silly bovine!"

Best of dadoctah
    Cattle Drive: ur doin it rong.

Ha Ha... Wut?



Best of dadoctah
That's quite an accomplishment. Any time I've tried to sharpen a squirrel I find they won't hold an edge.

Best of Dr. Doom
    Shortly after the stabbing, the husband was heard to mutter, "I feel so queer..."

Best of Dr. Doom
@dadoctah - you need to try the Squirrel-O-Matic. It is only $39.95 from Mainway products - but wait if you order now...

Best of jimmy
    The anchors were confused about the choice of weapon until they discovered the victim, 26 year-old Chip Monck, was treated and released from the hospital with two fractured nuts.

Best of Dactyl
    Well what was her husband doing with a squirrel anyway?

Best of dadoctah
    "Is that a squirrel in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? Wait, no! Stay back!"

Best of Submariner
    So Rosie O'Donuts got a Glamour Shot, eh? She looks almost feminine...
    Oops, sorry, I just noticed it said "stabbed husband."
    Nevermind.

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

Grab


1. Where will you be when your butt-plug slips out?

2. "Remember that time Rosie O'Donnel sang the National Anthem? That was, um, awesome." 

3. Years after meeting Hillary, the SCOAMF still felt phantom sensations from his missing jewels. 

4.   "I'm bad... um... I'm bad... I... um... know... it... sh'mon..." 

5. When ever the SCOAMF needs a pick-me-up, he just sniffed the piquant aroma of his own farts from off his fingertips.

Best of Submariner
    SCOAMF thawt bubble; "Wrecking balls chafe? Who'd have guessed?"

Best of Dr. Doom
    "Damn White House windows," groused the President...

Best of dadoctah
    Well-known fact: When you finally give up smoking, some other habit often takes its place.

Best of curly
    “Damn! Michelle, who made the Obama Kool-Aid this morning?”

Best of Kaptain Krude
 What Marilyn Monroe on the heating grate would have looked like if she had been wearing a suit instead of a dress...
    and male...
    and black...
    and incompetent...
    and a liar...
    you know, maybe that isn't the best comparison, after all.

Best of Dr. Doom
"That does it," thought the President, "Matthews is getting dentures before my next speech..."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Obamalama Thawtbubble: Don't care what the press says, I'm only riding girl's bikes from now on!

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    It's just a jump to the left.
    And then a step to the right.
    Put your hands on your hips.
    You bring your knees in tight.
    But it's the pelvic thrust
    That really drives you insane.
    Let's do the time-warp again.


Monday, January 06, 2014

Science We Much


1. "Breaking Bad for Kids" was an unlikely hit for Nickelodeon.

2. "Now, once you have assembled your Molotov cocktail, meet me at Freddie's Fashion Mart..."

3. "He left the meth lab on again. Dammit, Schultz, you're gonna get us all killed one of these days."

4. It was widely suspected that Hogwarts new Potions Master was an Affirmative Action Hire since all he ever did was mix vinegar and baking soda.

5. "And now I will prove that Global Warming is real using ordinary ammonia and chlorine bleach." The next day, MSDNC had a much welcomed opening in their line-up

Best of Submariner
    And that, children, is how we make a proper Cosmopolitan!

Best of Submariner
That's all I gots time for today. I gots to hurry up and cook up a little sumpin-sumpin for my friend Marion Barry whats comin over tonight!

Best of Dr. Doom
    FNC has a Green Room. MSNBC has a Meth Room which explains a lot actually...

Best of Dr. Doom
"And so children in the covalent bond represented by water, the oxygen atom 'steals' an electron from the poor hydrogen atoms. Of course this proves that oxygen atoms are racist oppressors and that the entire covalent bond system is corrupt...

Best of dadoctah
"Those short-sighted fools at the Academy said I was mad! Mad, say I? I'll show them who's mad! Bwahahahaaa!"

Best of GregMan
    "...and that's how you makes Purple Drank!"

Best of jimmy    
Mystery solved: it's Rev. Al who was ordered to brew up all that Obama Kool-Aid the MSDNC anchors drink. How racist of them to make the blaaaaaaack maaaaaaan do the domestic work.

Friday, January 03, 2014

The Changing Face of Evil


1. DW ORA:"Don't you think she looks like a bloated corpse?"

2. "Dammit, Hill, you've been into my roofies again, haven't you?"

3. "Bill, I sense the life force draining out of me. Can we drop by a preschool on the way home?"

4. The walker almost had Ol' Billy, but then Daryl nailed her with his crossbow.

5. Weekend at Hilldawg's.

 Best of metalgarth
    Just a couple of Megafucks....

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "Is it too late to sign up for that new Urkel Care?"

Best of Submariner
    Voice over: "We've replaced Hilldawg's Serutan with Neurotoxins; let's see if she notices..."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Bill, buy me a corndog. I want to show you something I learned during our separation.

Best of Submariner
Hey Hil, there's Chelsea doing a chunky chick. Looks like our baby's all grown up and likes the same girls we do!

Best of Dr. Doom
    Bill: "I have never felt so queer."
    Hill: "I have..."

Best of Kaptain Krude
    "Hey boy, go get me some coffee, and make it snap... oh, hey Barack."

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "Hillary, I have to confess, I'm the reason Sanda Fluke need birth control....."


Best of Submariner
You're not having another 'mini-stroke' are you Hil? I mean, it's not like anybody's trying to get you to admit what happened in Benghazi or anything...

Heh


Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Merry New Year


Baby's First Thoughtbubble


1. Baby's First Thoughtbubble: "Is that plastic-faced woman some sort of android?"

2. Baby's First Thoughtbubble: "Polio vaccine causes autism? Who is this crazy b-tch?"

3. Baby's First Thoughtbubble: "That kid next to me looks like Wil Wheaton. I hate him reflexively."

Best of Submariner
Baby's First Thoughtbubble: "Wasn't me; I suggest checking the drawers on the Will Wheaton clone..."

Best of Jay Guevara
    Baby thought bubble: "Bitch crazy."