1. SCOAMF Thoughtbubble, "If I were married to a woman, she would look like Glozell."
2. "No, Mr. President. This is my weave. Get your own damn weave."
3. "Just between you and me, the real source of all the world's problems are the greedy Jews... Hey, we're not recording yet, are we?"
4. "Needless to say, I am way better at eating Froot Loops in the bath tub than you."
Threadwinner: Mr Hankey
I, um, didn't say "Simon Says"
Best of The Expendable
One of them refers to law enforcement officers as "po-po", and has had countless memes highlighting their ridiculous antics. The other one just blew the Hulk.
Best of chronos z. wonderpig
You know, that's the same shade of lipstick that Reggie uses....
Best of GregMan
"Mister President, you are so f---ed up it makes me pull my hair out!"
Best of Dr. Doom
The scene moments before the President bows to the Queen of Youtube...
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Chef went with your idear of green cheetos for St. Patrick's Day and says it wears off in about 3 weeks.