Monday, January 12, 2015

Lord of the Flies

Weasel Zippers


1. "Never mind me I'm just... Allahu Akhbar! Ash-hadu anna Muḥhammadan-Rasulullāh!!... chasing a fly from this rug... Ash-hadu an-lā ilāha illā allāh...Just carry on, infidels... I mean, um, comrades."

2. "At, uMmmmm, 'Man's Country,' ... this was my, ummmm, lucky Pierre position."

3. "Good thing I had this, um, copy of, um, 'The Advocate' just um lying around."

4. "Blond Humans Be Bitches, Ha, ain't that the truth. You hear what I'm sayin', Tiger?"

5. "My invisible dog pissed on the rug again. Bad dog! Bad dog!"

Best of Best of
    Who told the idiot about Jefferson's hemp carpet?

Best of Best of
    He doesn't just hate Americans. See how he squats on all of Humanity?

Best of USMC2841
I never knew sweeping Benghazi, The VA scandal and the IRS scandal under there would leave such a lump.

Best of The Expendable
White House Etiquette Czar (on couch): "No, no, no! You're still not bowing low enough! Now repeat after me, 'I am at your service, your Highness.' "

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Dang, I almost got me that podium rat!

Best of curly
President Obama demonstrates how we can use rolled up magazines for self defense after we give up our guns.

Best of chronos z. wonderpig
uh Mr President... as much as you identify with muslim countries, we do have indoor plumbing

Best of Dr. Doom
"Bow - 2 - 3 - 4... Scrape - 2 - 3 - 4. Practice makes perfect" thought the President as he performed his daily exercises...

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Clubbing seals is great fun, I do it every day.

Anonymous said...

choom gang on shrooms investigates how stripes on the floor sound when plucked

Anonymous said...

Who told the idiot about Jefferson's hemp carpet?

Anonymous said...

He doesn't just hate Americans. See how he squats on all of Humanity?

USMC2841 said...

I never knew sweeping Benghazi, The VA scandal and the IRS scandal under there would leave such a lump.

The Expendable said...

White House Etiquette Czar (on couch): "No, no, no! You're still not bowing low enough! Now repeat after me, 'I am at your service, your Highness.' "

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Won't anyone play leap frog with me?

-OR-

Dang, I almost got me that podium rat!

-OR-

Used Citizenship Salesman
So, after disarming Border Patrol, I'll issue rolled up magazines so they can give those poor innocent potential democratic voters a nasty swat on their nose for jumping to the head of the line before directing them to all the freebies.

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"Thank you sir, may I have another!"

Anonymous said...

Head Haunch-O

curly said...

President Obama demonstrates how we can use rolled up magazines for self defense after we give up our guns.

chronos z. wonderpig said...

uh Mr President... as much as you identify with muslim countries, we do have indoor plumbing

Dr. Doom said...

"Bow - 2 - 3 - 4... Scrape - 2 - 3 - 4. Practice makes perfect" thought the President as he performed his daily exercises...

Jay Guevara said...

"Ah, here's where I left those top secret documents."

Jay Guevara said...

Guy on couch, laughing: "So I told him we needed someone to step over and fetch the magazine. Step'n'fetchit! Get it?"