Monday, January 05, 2015

Match.com's Greatest Challenge


1. Rachel Maddow required a serious makeover before assuming her hosting duties at MSDNC.

2. "Finished my resume for that internship at the DNC. What do you think, too anodyne?"

3. Someone heard Susan Sarandon was on the market again.

Best of Double the U
    ORA: Wow Vivian and Ric had a love child!

Best of Kaptain Krude
    Ah. I see the new Education Department czar is ready to assume his duties.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Winning video application to Harvard.

Best of Jay Guevara
    Sorry, son, Maoism is as dead as your sex life.

Best of USMC2841
    That board game on top is the closest thing you'll ever have to the real thing.

Best of Steve O
    A 5 o'clock shadow and I STILL can't tell for sure if that's a dude.

Best of Dr. Doom
    If Rosie O'Donnell and Bozo the Clown had a love child...

Best of GregMan
Chad actually got quite a few responses to his match.com picture. Unsurprisingly, most of them were from Berkeley.

Best of Kaptain Krude
    Butch refused to give up. He knew his gerbil was still alive, dammit!



22 comments:

Double the U said...

ORA: Wow Vivian and Ric had a love child!

Kaptain Krude said...

Ah. I see the new Education Department czar is ready to assume his duties.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The photo from his youth that Dick Cheney hoped would never surface.

-OR-

Dexter's mother was an Emo Goth chick and his father was an aspiring ACLU attorney. He was born 10 days before they graduated high school. He's so screwed.

-OR-

Winning video application to Harvard.

-OR-

You can't fix stupid
Later, a frustrated Andrew "plausible denial" Cuomo would stand before the cameras and claim his oppressive gun confiscation law should have worked.

Jay Guevara said...

Sorry, son, Maoism is as dead as your sex life.

chronos z. wonderpig said...

dumbass

USMC2841 said...

That board game on top is the closest thing you'll ever have to the real thing.

Steve O said...

A 5 o'clock shadow and I STILL can't tell for sure if that's a dude.

Dr. Doom said...

Sleeper Cell - YUR DOIN' IT RONG...

Dr. Doom said...

If Rosie O'Donnell and Bozo the Clown had a love child...

Submariner said...

Flip side:
I AM TEH 99%

Submariner said...

...and if President Obama had a son, I bet he imagines that he'd look sorta like. like, aw hell - ANYTHING but like this, the same as any of the rest of us!

Submariner said...

Mark the day in CapThis! history: A photo of Dawn BEFORE her head explodes!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

@Doom - glad I didn't post my caption this morning ("Rosie O and Drew Carey's luv child")
Yours was much better!

GregMan said...

Side 1: "Maoism is not dead!"

Side 2: "But my brain is!"

GregMan said...

Chad actually got quite a few responses to his match.com picture. Unsurprisingly, most of them were from Berkeley.

The Expendable said...

Other side of sign: "I still support Deng Xiaoping"

dadoctah said...

And you thought Carrot Top had lost it when he started bodybuilding!

Kaptain Krude said...

Butch refused to give up. He knew his gerbil was still alive, dammit!

Adriane said...

I've got a friend that's into "Respect for Nudist". She's kinda chunky but you'd have a lot in common ... er, um, a lot to talk about ...

Jay Guevara said...

Pro tip: if you have to protest that something isn't dead ... it is.

Mr Hankey said...

"But if you go showing pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow..."

Jay Guevara said...

Douchebag with a douchebag on his head.