Friday, February 13, 2015

And Some People Say This Guy Is a Superficial Narcissist


1. The SCOAMF finds a way to spend Valentine's Day with the one person he truly loves.

2. Why ISIS ... really isn't worried.

3. SCOAMF Thoughtbubble: "If I could find a way to do this and play golf at the same time, my life would be complete."

4. "So this is what I look like with a buttplug."

5. "Man, I am starting to look like that old fart on the rice box."

Best of curly
Obama seemed to thoroughly enjoy himself during his visit to the Teleprompter Museum.

Best of Best of
Bart Simpson: "When I grow up I want to be a lardo on workman's comp, just like Dad."
Bart then imagines himself morbidly obese on a talk show
Fat Bart: "I wash myself with a rag on a stick!"

Best of Dr. Doom
The President's handlers funded the NSF sparing no expense to create the Micropromter 3000 so that Mr. Obama could properly channel Mr. Soros. The plan would have been flawless if not for the gate on the West Lawn (and all of the windows in the White house of course)...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
BIDEN! I saw that! If you shoot one more spit ball at my ass, I'll have you hung!

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
That's odd. I can't see a reflection.

Best of Best of
I require Malaysian boys to cane. Butler, fetch me some impudent, quivering flesh that I may purify by deign of my rod --and take this stick with which I touch that nasty Michelle creature

Best of Jay Guevara
Putin: "Yeah, I totally take this guy seriously."

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Oh, Reggie Love," Obama sighed to himself. "How the days drag by! How the nights are lonely! Take this humble pictograph to remember how our bodies trembled against each other, and how we will be together again as soon as this wretched assignment is over! O Reggie!"

22 comments:

curly said...

Obama seemed to thoroughly enjoy himself during his visit to the Teleprompter Museum.

Anonymous said...

Bart Simpson: "When I grow up I want to be a lardo on workman's comp, just like Dad."

Bart then imagines himself morbidly obese on a talk show

Fat Bart: "I wash myself with a rag on a stick!"

Anonymous said...

Lamplighters know all about me-thane

Anonymous said...

What more proof do you require of this salt of the earth than Barry's urchin prod brandished in manicured vulgarity?

Anonymous said...

Scratch the mini cue card in the breast pocket

Anonymous said...

Speak awfully and carry a twig stick

Dr. Doom said...

The President's handlers funded the NSF sparing no expense to create the Micropromter 3000 so that Mr. Obama could properly channel Mr. Soros. The plan would have been flawless if not for the gate on the West Lawn (and all of the windows in the White house of course)...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Obamalama Thawtbubble:
Mirror mirror on the boom,
Who's the prettiest little nword in the room?

-OR-

Lame Duck Paranoia

-OR-

Hmmm, what's that writing on the glass?
Caution: Slings, arrows and brickbats are closer than they may appear.

-OR-

BIDEN! I saw that! If you shoot one more spit ball at my ass, I'll have you hung!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

How can he see his reflection? He's way too short-sighted.

-OR-

That's odd. I can't see a reflection.

-OR-

The official wall portrait was called: En Guarde! Shadow Puppet Dueling

-OR-

Daydream #1923 Job Prospects: If they can ruin the James Bond franchise with a black lead, why not cast me as a black Zorro?

Anonymous said...

A white-tipped cane would be racial insensitive--so to would be swinging it submissively along the ground. Take your eye pokes in stride, devil blue eyes!

Anonymous said...

I require Malaysian boys to cane. Butler, fetch me some impudent, quivering flesh that I may purify by deign of my rod --and take this stick with which I touch that nasty Michelle creature

Anonymous said...

Caught up in the thrill of lecture, the professor skips the dangle angle intro in his passion about meat heat.

Jay Guevara said...

Putin: "Yeah, I totally take this guy seriously."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

How the hell did that guy on The Ed Sullivan Show keep all those plates spinning on sticks? I can't even get this thing to spin on the stick after waxing the point in Biden's left ear.

-OR-

Charlie Brown Thawtbubble: It's gotta be a Valentine's trap. 'Chel says she wants me to spank her with this, but I'll bet she's planning on beating the hell out of me after the first swat and then claim self-defense again.

-OR-

Maybe I can balance the budget now that I've got Ron Popeil's new Pickpocket Fisherman!

Dr. Doom said...

The political equivalent of a dash cam...

Dr. Doom said...

The President determines to use a Go-Pro for the remainder of his term so he can document how a real pro F%^$'s up the country. For posterity of course - oh and to provide copies of the video to foreign heads of state on gift giving occasions...

jimmy said...

At least we know what he plans to be doing while Netanyahu addresses Congress.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Oh, Reggie Love," Obama sighed to himself. "How the days drag by! How the nights are lonely! Take this humble pictograph to remember how our bodies trembled against each other, and how we will be together again as soon as this wretched assignment is over! O Reggie!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Best Photobomb Ever
Upstaged by books he'll never read or comprehend. Heck, even the lamp's brighter.

-OR-

Thawtbubble: Better get me a selfie standing in front of these great works of literature. Not like there will be any in my library.

-OR-

When he showed this selfie to Al Sharpton, the buffoon yelled, "Where da black writers at?"

Jay Guevara said...

"He's so dreamy! And so smart! Just like us!" - one of the 52%, some of whom have opposable thumbs.

Mr Hankey said...

Does this make my ego look big?

curly said...

“This,, err, new gaydar app works,, eh, well.”