Tuesday, February 17, 2015

That's Our Biden


1. "Om nom nom nom..."

2. "Gee, your hair tastes terrific," Joe Biden's senility is manifested in constantly misremembering 1970's ad campaigns.

3. "Don't bother reaching in your purse, I am immune to all forms of mace."

4. "I put the 'vice' in 'vice president,' baby."

5. "Hey babe, you know what's the difference between you and my scalp? I already plugged my scalp."

Best of Best of
Sorry about my bleeding hemorrhoids ruining that pearl necklace, Sweety

Best of GregMan
"So your husband is Secretary of Defense, gorgeous? Wanna see my cruise missle?"

Best of Kaptain Krude
Brian Williams sent a letter of support. "I know how you felt", he wrote. "Let me tell you about the time I met Bill Clinton..."

Best of chronos z. wonderpig
"Bat Cave, 10 minutes!"

Best of chronos z. wonderpig
"Look, I know I'm not Ray Bradbury...."

Best of curly
"Were you born on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock".

Best of The Expendable
"I've got something else that's a big effing deal..."

Best of Dr. Doom
"Hey baby, how 'bout we call up a couple of Somali cab drivers I know and make a party of it," cooed the Vice President, "What do you say?"

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

If I was a republican I would have had to resign by now.

metalgarth said...

Wanna do something anal in an adult and pleasurable context?

Anonymous said...

Biden tests the theory that the best defense is a sexual offense

Anonymous said...

Sorry about my bleeding hemorrhoids ruining that pearl necklace, Sweety

dadoctah said...

(really ORA) "Oh no, Mrs Burke? I thought you were Dale!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Read the fine print, hon... you're not listed as spouse, but concubine. When Ash is traveling, I'm his official stand in.

-OR-

I do this not to harass but because I can! Besides, technically, it's not sexual harassment until my hands slide all over your bewbs and butt, which will commence in 3 - 2 - 1...

-OR-

Pssst, wanna play out my "Vice President scores with Angela Merkel" fantasy?

-OR-

Splash One Pervert
This photo was taken moments before Ashton Carter conducted his first successful military maneuver, launching a closed fist into the invader's glass jaw.

GregMan said...

"So your husband is Secretary of Defense, gorgeous? Wanna see my cruise missle?"

Kaptain Krude said...

Brian Williams sent a letter of support. "I know how you felt", he wrote. "Let me tell you about the time I met Bill Clinton..."

GregMan said...

It's not creepy if you're a Democrat.

GregMan said...

"Baby, I can show you some military maneuvers that will rock your world."

jimmy said...

SoD's wife thoughtbubble: "Don't.vomit.don't.vomit.don't.vomit."

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"Bat Cave, 10 minutes!"

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"Look, I know I'm not Ray Bradbury...."

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"I'm claiming Executive privilege!"

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"Got any Lucky Charms?"

curly said...

"Were you born on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock".

curly said...

"There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus."

The Expendable said...

"I've got something else that's a big effing deal..."

Dr. Doom said...

If Letterman did a Top Ten List on why Mr. Obama can't attract top talent to his cabinet, this would be number three - right ahead of Self Respect and Fear of Wookies...

Dr. Doom said...

"Hey baby, how 'bout we call up a couple of Somali cab drivers I know and make a party of it," cooed the Vice President, "What do you say?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Go on, strike him down," Smirkin' Joe whispered in the wife's ear. "Strike him down, and I will make you my Vice President when I take over in 2016."






(You know it's what he said!)

Kaptain Krude said...

Vice President Biden continues the GOP's War On Women.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Hands up, don't grope!"

or

ORA: "Don't grope me, Joe!"

Mr Hankey said...

I know how many licks it take to get to the center of a tootsie-roll tootsie-pop.....one....two....three.....

jimmy said...

Biden learned the error of his ways too late once Mrs. Carter got hold of her husband's codes for launching drone strikes.