Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Mooch on Drums


1. "Don't you turn your back on me you ... cornmeal faced whore!"
2. And then the FLOTUS beat her host to a pulp for "running all the stores and ripping off all my sisters in South Central."
3. "Sticks and stones may break your bones... I've always wanted to test that theory."
4. "Pssst, sister, how many batteries do these take?"
5. "It's Asia, so I swapped my eatin' shovel for chopsticks. Now, where's the buffet?"

Best of chronos z. wonderpig
    "why did they give me Barry's sex toys???"

Best of Best of
    Must hoard all the bread sticks

Best of Best of
    I always suspected it'd sport wood around a petite asian girl

Best of The Expendable
    M'chelle thawt bubble: "These people have no rhythm."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
    The Klingon ritual of Chu'Bakka is seldom discussed with outsiders.

Best of Kaptain Krude
What the...? I don't remember that shirt being in The Return of the Jedi! Has George Lucas been messing around with the endings again????

Best of dadoctah
    "Aiieee! Goji..."
    I mean...
    "Garfunkel and Oates have really let themse..."
    ...I mean...
    "Comedy Central roast of Justin Bieber. Ur doin it ro..."
    ...oh, screw it. I got nothing.

Best of Best of
Row the slave galley in time to my beat, commrades. Capt. Obama's not going to let you blackslide on Progress:
    envy *boom* demagoguery *boom* hyperbole *boom* dishonesty *boom*

Best of Best of
    Bang the whole marching band and they'll make you an honorary drummer too

31 comments:

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"bet that Asian girl bleed just like da white girl......"

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"why did they give me Barry's sex toys???"

Anonymous said...

None dare say "tympani" within her earshot; she'll go bananas

Anonymous said...

Must hoard all the bread sticks

Anonymous said...

Not everything is indigenous to Monster Island

Anonymous said...

I always suspected it'd sport wood around a petite asian girl

Anonymous said...

Emanating from Hell's bowels, something foul clutches dowels with its jowls contorted into more than a scowl

Anonymous said...

She never chokes up when she's firmly set upon making a line drive right to a mound. She fancies herself the designated cervix hitter..

Anonymous said...

Michelle's famous party trick: snapping baseball bats in half with her maw

The Expendable said...

The cymbals were not so difficult to master, but her hosts knew they'd be accused of racism if they asked M'chelle to play them.

Anonymous said...

The Boner Killing Fields

The Expendable said...

M'chelle thawt bubble: "These people have no rhythm."

Son Of The Godfather said...

The Klingon ritual of Chu'Bakka is seldom discussed with outsiders.

The Expendable said...

M'chelle's semi-annual Lilith Goodwill Tour ended with the traditional exchange of gifts. Q'in Wha gave the First Lady a beautiful silk kimono, and M'chelle gave her hosts some queen-sized tampons from her purse.

Anonymous said...

When in Rome, "MAU! MAU! DIDI MAU!" as the Viet Cong do.

Kaptain Krude said...

"You better smile, girl. It's better to be here with me, than to be in the clutches of Smilin' Joe Biden!" The laughter that echoed through the hills cut like a bat'lath through butter.

Kaptain Krude said...

What the...? I don't remember that shirt being in The Return of the Jedi! Has George Lucas been messing around with the endings again????

Anonymous said...

Not since Lisa Marie Presley's time spent as Michael Jackson's wife has there been a more violent outburst of sublimated anger stemming from a husband for his boys' nights out

Anonymous said...

Tony bitch known for phony career recruits servants from boney North Korea

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna eat the shit outta this Kim Chi bitch all up in here

Anonymous said...

Little does the hostess know that, when they're alone together later on, her guest's clit will Inch-on.

dadoctah said...

"Aiieee! Goji..."
I mean...
"Garfunkel and Oates have really let themse..."
...I mean...
"Comedy Central roast of Justin Bieber. Ur doin it ro..."
...oh, screw it. I got nothing.

Anonymous said...

The war drums of boycott sound, as Mooch is under the impression India passed a religious freedom act

Anonymous said...

Row the slave galley in time to my beat, commrades. Capt. Obama's not going to let you blackslide on Progress:

envy *boom* demagoguery *boom* hyperbole *boom* dishonesty *boom*

GregMan said...

"Thaas it, sista, beat them drums like it's a white person!"

Anonymous said...

Bang the whole marching band and they'll make you an honorary drummer too

Son Of The Godfather said...

V, I was just looking back at some of the caps we were doing almost TEN years ago! Man, we sure had some killer ones back then. Just wanted to shoot you a quick "thank you" for keeping the blog rolling all this time. Serious, dude, it's been a blast.

Submariner said...

Ditto's on SOTG's post, V. Thanks for all the laughs, groans and double takes. But most of all for hundreds and hundreds of THBs.

Dr. Doom said...

The First Lady receives her chopsticks on the latest vacat... er good will tour...

The Expendable said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Expendable said...

Well crap, now I'm feeling a big teary. I know this might not be the right place to post this, but V, let me jump on the bandwagon and also give a big thanks for the laughs. I know I'm a newbie posting on here, but I've been lurking for years. It's been a blast! Thank you!