Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Why The Long Face?


1. "So, Rubio bought an $80,000 boat. How quaint."
2. No caption, but just noting that this weasel spent more time in the hospital for falling off a bike than he did total for all of his three "purple heart" injuries in Vietnam.
3. "Hello, Mr President, yeah, um, apparently during our last negotiations with Iran, I promised the ayatollah he could marry Sasha and Malaria."
4. "Why didn't anyone warn me that the cooch of Belgian transsexual prostitutes was such a toxic stew?"
5. "What do you mean I'm limited to four enemas a day? I'm the f-cking Pres... Secretary of State you insolent b-tch!"

Best of dadoctah
    I was afraid of this. They waited too damn long to make the sequel to "Napoleon Dynamite".

Best of Best of
    Stables lay down straw over the floor, five star hotels drape towels over the furniture

Best of Kaptain Krude
    I thought they were supposed to shoot the horse that pulls up lame?

Best of The Expendable
    I've said it before and I'll say it again, the man has a head like a Herman Munster Pez dispenser.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
    That reminds me... Was the horse's head in the bed scene in Godfather I or II?

Best of Son Of The Godfather
    "Uhm, sir... your cellphone is on the table. You're talking into the bed remote again."

25 comments:

Kaptain Krude said...

Not to quibble, V, but I believe #2 should read as, "...this weasel spent more time in the hospital for falling off a bike than he did total for all of his three Purple Heart "injuries" in Vietnam."

Anonymous said...

"Hello, Can I get me on of them thar huntin' licenses? (ahahahahha)"
While recuperating John Kerry made prank phone calls to the southern states.

jimmy said...

After the bullies on the playground pushed little Johnny off his bike, they taunted him via telephone, telling him they planned to steal his lunch money and give him a swirlie in the boys' room.

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"...well then, have the Navy retroactively recall me to active duty, Obama awards me the Medal of Honor, & we shoot the bicycle for treason...."

dadoctah said...

I was afraid of this. They waited too damn long to make the sequel to "Napoleon Dynamite".

Anonymous said...

Stables lay down straw over the floor, five star hotels drape towels over the furniture

Anonymous said...

French Jay Leno is a joke unto himself

Anonymous said...

Charles de Gout

Anonymous said...

"At the tone, the time will be..."

Anonymous said...

American Fare Whoa turns up lame

Kaptain Krude said...

I thought they were supposed to shoot the horse that pulls up lame?

Rodney Dill said...

@dadoctah - I dunno "Vote for Pedro" is becoming a real possibility

Anonymous said...

Someone's been left in the Lurch

Rodney Dill said...

"Bye bye, Keep Calm... Kerry on... the sofa."
John always wondered why he never got many call backs.

Kaptain Krude said...

"That was, without a doubt, the worst meal I have ever had," Kerry complained to the hospital administrator. "The memory of that meal is seared -seared- into my mind."

The Expendable said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, the man has a head like a Herman Munster Pez dispenser.

The Expendable said...

"Hill Dog! Wazzupppppppp?!?"

The Expendable said...

"Room service? I gave crystal-clear instructions that I only wanted Hunt's ketchup!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

That reminds me... Was the horse's head in the bed scene in Godfather I or II?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"That's right AP, put down that I had my leg broken in a fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Uhm, sir... your cellphone is on the table. You're talking into the bed remote again."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"No! For the last time, I do not know a 'Wilbur'!"

Dr. Doom said...

"Yeah Bob - I just found out that State Department employees don't get Purple Hearts," complained Mr. Kerry, "That ends today - I want you to spin up a program - call it the green star - no wait green is already taken - let's call it the Red Star - yeah that will play on the hill..."

Sabinal said...

is he in pajamas??

Kaptain Krude said...

"...yes, Ayatollah Shahroudi, I believe that deal is acceptable to all", Kerry solemnly intoned. "If you could just... hold on, babe, bigger name on the other line. Yes? Yes, this is he. Well, it's an honor to meet you, Prince Islassis. What? The Nigerian National Petroleum Company, you say? Needs my help, you say? $100,000 to transfer, and you'll be glad to share the millions and millions of dollars locked away in the royal vaults? Well yes, we would be interested in that. Yes, I can give you our bank account numbers and their respective PINs...."