Monday, July 27, 2015

Showing Joe to the Door


1. "Yeah, I sort of have to endorse Hillary, but come 2017 this whole place is gonna be a radioactive crater, so no big loss."

2. "I know, Joe, I hate this shithole country, too."

3. "FFS, Joe, she's my daughter and she's 14 years old."

4. "It's OK, Joe, it happens to all men sometimes."

5. "You know what always cheers me up? A good old-fashioned quaalude enema. I'll call Reggie."

Best of Double The U
Joe, Joe, I will let the chef know you can have a bowl of Fruit Loops for your afternoon snack if you want it

Best of jimmy
"Yeah, another gun-toting wacko has jumped the fence, and no Secret Service in sight. So it falls on the VP to go chase them away. Yeah, I know, but it's in the Constitution...nothing I can do. Hurry up, now..."

Best of chronos z. wonderpig
"Joe, don't be a baby, it's just the Obamacare death panel....."

Best of Dr. Doom
Mr. Obama has taken to holding onto Joe in order to negotiate doorways in the White House...

Best of Dr. Doom
"OK Joe, the heat is really on me on the Iran deal and we need a distraction," instructed the President, "Now get out there and talk to the press for me like only you can. Talk about cab drivers or something - but stay clear out of Africa this time. Got it?"

Best of Dr. Doom
"Joe, have you ever been in a Turkish prison," inquired the President?

Best of chronos z. wonderpig
"Sorry Joe, if you want to be the Democrat Nominee you'll have to change your name to Caitlyn Biden!"

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Now look, Joe, be reasonable," Barry Soetoro said to his gullible henchman. "Someone is going to have to stand between this office and the pitchforks, right? And I can't go out there, because I'm needed in this office, right? And you're only one else here, right? So, logically, you're the only one who can do this vital duty to the office, right? So get out there and slay them, you crazy nut! Make them eat right out of your hand! You can do it, you're the Joe-ster! The Bidenator! The Veeper-meister! You've got this!"

Barry reflected later, as the noose was tightening around his neck, that maybe sending Biden out to handle the crowd may not have been his smartest move.

Best of Kaptain Krude
Brokeback Mountain 2: Electric Boogaloo!

29 comments:

metalgarth said...

Alternate Reality #X34578II When President Barry Soetoro gets tired of "that idiotic liberal senator from Delaware"... HE JUST SHOWS HIM THE DOOR!

Double The U said...

Joe, Joe, I will let the chef know you can have a bowl of Fruit Loops for your afternoon snack if you want it

Dactyl said...

Vulcan neck pinch: fail.

Dactyl said...

"Guess who?": fail.

Dactyl said...

Bongos solo: fail.

Dactyl said...

Swingset fail.

Dactyl said...

Ventriloquist fail.

Dactyl said...

Horse-costume-for-Halloween practice WIN!!!!1!!

Dactyl said...

Just kidding. Fail.

dadoctah said...

"Well, I'll be damned. You *do* have boobs on your back!"

jimmy said...

"Yeah, another gun-toting wacko has jumped the fence, and no Secret Service in sight. So it falls on the VP to go chase them away. Yeah, I know, but it's in the Constitution...nothing I can do. Hurry up, now..."

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"Joe, don't be a baby, it's just the Obamacare death panel....."

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"Joe, don't be a baby, we agreed that it's the VP's job to service M'Chel....."

chronos z. wonderpig said...

Obama gives Biden his thoughts on Joe's presidential chances in song:
" Get back, get back
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back, get back
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back Jo Jo "

Dr. Doom said...

Mr. Obama has taken to holding onto Joe in order to negotiate doorways in the White House...

Dr. Doom said...

Joe: "Well darn it sir I was hoping you'd come through for me on this..."
Barry: "I know, I know but it won't be so bad - I'm sure you can be Hillary's VP too..."

Dr. Doom said...

"OK Joe, the heat is really on me on the Iran deal and we need a distraction," instructed the President, "Now get out there and talk to the press for me like only you can. Talk about cab drivers or something - but stay clear out of Africa this time. Got it?"

Anonymous said...

Horse-costume-for-Halloween fail. One end is supposed to be the head.

Dr. Doom said...

"Joe, have you ever been in a Turkish prison," enquired the President?

Dr. Doom said...

"Joe, have you ever been in a Turkish prison," inquired the President?

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"Sorry Joe, if you want to be the Democrat Nominee you'll have to change your name to Caitlyn Biden!"

Steve O said...

This is what happens when you get The Lightworker to fall for "Pull My Finger" one too many times. And then you laugh and call him "The Lightworker."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Now look, Joe, be reasonable," Barry Soetoro said to his gullible henchman. "Someone is going to have to stand between this office and the pitchforks, right? And I can't go out there, because I'm needed in this office, right? And you're only one else here, right? So, logically, you're the only one who can do this vital duty to the office, right? So get out there and slay them, you crazy nut! Make them eat right out of your hand! You can do it, you're the Joe-ster! The Bidenator! The Veeper-meister! You've got this!"

Barry reflected later, as the noose was tightening around his neck, that maybe sending Biden out to handle the crowd may not have been his smartest move.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Look Joe, Camp Climax isn't for everyone. For one thing, it's for girls. And for another..., well, it's for girls, if you get what I'm saying."

chronos z. wonderpig said...

"Joe, VtheK is late posting the Thursday babe...go out there & strut your stuff!"

Anonymous said...

"Next time I get to be the caboose in the dance."
"OK, but I will still wear the strap-on later."

The Expendable said...

JOE, BE CAREFUL! Didn't you ever hear that during a prostate exam you're OK as long as you don't feel both of his hands on your shoulder?!?

The Expendable said...

worst... conga... line... ever.

Kaptain Krude said...

Brokeback Mountain 2: Electric Boogaloo!