Monday, August 24, 2015

America's First Family of Resting Bitch Face.



1. "M'Chel, it's one thing to stink up Marine One with those gawdawful farts, it's another to look so damn smug about it."

2. "Well, that's done. One more of these stupid 'family vacations,' then we can get a divorce and I'll spend every summer on Fire Island with Reggie Love."

3. "For the last time, Malaria, Marine One can carry all of our luggage or M'Chel's fat ass. It cannot haul both simultaneously."

4. "You see, dogs are unclean animals, so I had to throw Bo out of the helicopter over the Atlantic."

5. "I know your mom has biceps like JJ Watts. Why do you think I married her?"

33 comments:

Double the U said...

Buh Daaaaad, why can't we have a cool helicopter like all my other friends? This helicopter is sooooo stupid looking. ugha!

Anonymous said...

Well, none of US think you would look just as good in that orange pantsuit, so just shut up about it, Barack.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Steve Urkel and the Urkettes.

Son Of The Godfather said...

So, we were all at least mile up and everyone of us got high... That doesn't qualify for the club you were talking about?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Hashtag - ALMOSTallblacklivesmatter

Son Of The Godfather said...

Knowing that I voted for late term abortions, I'd wipe that dismay off your face and get with the program, Malaria.

dadoctah said...

Is it wrong that I find myself thinking about Ike Turner?

chronos Z. wonderpig said...

"I can't wait for my term to be over so I can return this rent-a-family!!"

jimmy said...

"If you and Sashimi want to go to ISIS training camp in Syria next summer, you'll wipe that surly look off your face pronto."

chronos Z. wonderpig said...

"What do you mean you two are not pregnant? After I'm impeached we gonna need that baby welfare to survive!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

I'm sorry Mundania, it's part of the Iran deal they insisted upon... I've ordered hijabs in all your sizes.

Son Of The Godfather said...

He's a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure, but damned if I can't feel sorry for him every now and then.

dadoctah said...

"Okay, so maybe it wasn't the greatest vacation in the world. But would you rather have spent it clearing brush in Crawford?"

Submariner said...

This just in; the first family returns from an Old Navy "shopping" trip on Marine One. Film hourly with color commentary and analysis, only right here on MSNBC!

Rodney Dill said...

"I'm too old to make helicopter noises for you Dad."

chronos Z. wonderpig said...

Sasquatch Jr. & Maalox have the same thought "Oh Please let me be adopted!!"

mega said...

"Why the long face, Malaria? Trump probably isn't serious about sending us all back to the plantations when he becomes President. And his odds of winning are less than 60 %"

Sort-of-Mad Max said...

Here we come,
Walking down your street,
We get the funniest looks from,
Everyone we meet!
Hey hey we're the voooooooop(record scratch)

Sort-of-Mad Max said...

Sorry, Malaria darling, you can't be queen of the United States.
Because I already am!

marco said...

I told you at the Vineyard, Malaria, I have 17 more months to finish trashing the country. So, no, I can not finish by this weekend. For Gaia's sake, be patient.

Submariner said...

"Pout all you want, Maalox; But I'M the President of the US of frikkin A and if ANYone is going to get a giant black fist slathered in Crisco, it's ME!"

Anonymous said...

Bitch body, bitchy look, bitch face, bitch what?

Kaptain Krude said...

Son Of The Godfather said...

He's a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure, but damned if I can't feel sorry for him every now and then.


I don't know about feeling sorry for him, but I've had an interesting thought. Many children rebel against their parents by going in the opposite direction from them; politically, intellectually, morally, or spiritually, you get the idea. This isn't the first time that one of the daughters has been photographed looking disgusted with Parental Unit #1 and/or Parental Unit #2. Wouldn't it be interesting if one or both daughters became conservative, or at least Republican? I know I would get a great chuckle out of them being surprise speakers at the 2020 Republican Party convention.

The howls of fury from the left would get me voting a straight Republican ticket for the rest of my life, I think.

chronos Z. wonderpig said...

Barry sighs in exasperation: "All three at the same time? We didn't have that problem at Man Country!"

Dr. Doom said...

Malia: "Where are we going for vacation next week Dad?"
Barak: "How should I know? Ask your mother..."

Dr. Doom said...
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Dr. Doom said...
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chronos Z. wonderpig said...

"I don't care how much you liked the movie, we're not moving to Compton!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Kaptain Krude, that would be something, but I think either Venus or Serena there is interning for the repugnant Lena whatsername from the HBO series "Look at my vajajay".

Dactyl said...

Oh yeah? YOU try dealing with Biden and Clinton and Pelosi and Reid and Banky Moon every day, let's see how long it takes YOU to go grey!

chronos Z. wonderpig said...

Ashley and Madison throw a hissy fit after Hillary erased their web site.

metalgarth said...

Many residents of Kashyyyk are not particularly impressed with the new Star Wars trailer

mega said...

"I renamed the mountain like you asked. But I can't rename the whole country until the day before I leave office, okay? So just chill."