Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Orange is the New Hack



1. I make the exact same face when I meet people who support Jeb Bush.

2. "It's the great pumpkin Charlie Brown! Oh, no, wait it's just a corrupt hag in an orange pantsuit."

3. "How the hell should I know what happened in Benghazi? That was the night I got blind, stinking drunk at Huma's 9-11 Party and passed out on the toilet."

4. Hillary is asked how America can afford all the entitlements she is promising.

5. Finally, when asked how big her ass is, Hillary gives an honest answer.

Best of Greg
Would you like paper or plastic, Ma'am?

Best of Greg
"That Libyan ambassador...what was his name?"

Best of Greg
"Yes, on a personal note, do you have advice on how to keep my husband from roaming?"

Best of Greg
"How do you say 'reset' in Russian?"

Best of Kaptain Krude
"What difference at this point does my campaign make?"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Mrs. Clinton, how do you answer the undeniable and overwhelming evidence that you knowingly kept classified information on your unprotected server?"

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us."

Best of Rodney Dill
"No, I don't know who paid Stewie to follow Chris Christie around with a tuba."

Best of Submariner
"Chris Matthews, MSSNBC; Lemme toss you a softball, Mrs. C - What was your biggest achievement as Secretary of State?"

Best of Submariner
"WHEEEEEERRRREEEE'S the beef?"

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

She looks good in orange, especially if it were a jumpsuit.

Greg said...

Would you like paper or plastic, Ma'am?

Greg said...

"I stopped you because you crossed the center line. How many drinks have you had tonight?"

Greg said...

"That Libyan ambassador...what was his name?"

Greg said...

"Yes, on a personal note, do you have advice on how to keep my husband from roaming?"

Greg said...

"What have you told Huma about what happened to the McDougals and Webb Hubbell?"

Greg said...

"If I were responsible for classified intel, is there any place you'd tell me to definitely NOT keep it?"

Greg said...

"The phone rings at 3am--Putin's forces have invaded Estonia. What's your response?"

Greg said...

"How do you say 'reset' in Russian?"

Greg said...

"This question is translated from Farsi: How many nukes can a nuke shop nuke before the nuke shop gets found out?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"What difference at this point does my campaign make?"

Dr. Doom said...

In a faux pas of epic proportions ABC went with its 'Live Cam' instead of using the new and improved 'Undead Cam' to cover the Clinton presser. Of course this rendered Mrs. Clinton in an unflattering wishy-washy orange cast. Heads rolled and it opened a new opportunity for Brian Williams. In the end no one prospered...

Anonymous said...

LIVE!!!!!!! From San Quentin State Prison ...
Hilldog

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Mrs. Clinton, how do you answer the undeniable and overwhelming evidence that you knowingly kept classified information on your unprotected server?"

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

Rodney Dill said...

You f*cked up, you trusted me

Rodney Dill said...

I want to be President... I thought Orange was the new Barack.

The Expendable said...

^^^ Mrs. Clinton, I knew Miss Teen South Carolina. Miss Teen South Carolina was a friend of mine. You are no Miss Teen South Carolina.


SotG = Threadwinner!

Rodney Dill said...

Oh the Huma inanity

Rodney Dill said...

"Wiped servers? Wiped my butt? At this point what difference does it make?"

Rodney Dill said...

"No, I don't know who paid Stewie to follow Chris Christie around with a tuba."

jimmy said...

"Mrs. Clinton, if you are elected, which Bill of Rights amendment should we expect you to suspend first?"

Rodney Dill said...

(OK, that deserves a couple of more verses)

Benghazi just won't go away
She couldn't save her people
just what difference anyway
Pop goes the weasel

Vince Foster used to be her fun
when Bill had his own stable
Then he had to eat a gun
Pop goes the weasel

Dactyl said...

Looks like that pork chop is coming back up...

Submariner said...

Kobe!
Over here!
I'm... running for President!

Dr. Doom said...

"Let them eat five, five dollar foot longs," harmonized Mrs. Clinton...

Dr. Doom said...

"Twelve Priuses for a crappy little diplomatic mission in a place no one has ever heard of. That's a good trade any day in my book," explained Mrs. Clinton.

Dr. Doom said...

"...and as a bonus we were able to achieve a reduction in the ambassadorial force under my leadership at State. This coupled with my e-mail server privatization plan has saved the Amerikkkan taxpayer untold thousands," two stepped Mrs. Clinton...

Rodney Dill said...

Hillary: "Well you can wish in one hand and crap in the other, and see which one fills up faster."

Submariner said...

"Ed Henery FOX News; Can you tell us why Anyone should vote for you, Mrs. Clinton?"

Submariner said...

"Chris Matthews, MSSNBC; Lemme toss you a softball, Mrs. C - What was your biggest achievement as Secretary of State?"

Steve O said...

Did I wipe my butt? You mean with a military grade 7X disc reformat tool?

Kaptain Krude said...

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange Who?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange Who?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange Who?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana Who?
Orange you glad I didn't say that you're not going to prison?

/Okay, it isn't much of a joke. It really shouldn't be a joke.

Rodney Dill said...

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing."

Submariner said...

"WHEEEEEERRRREEEE'S the beef?"