Friday, October 16, 2015

M'Chel and the Garden of Olives




1. "I'm sorry for the mistake, it seems you ordered the endless soup and salad and table 9 ordered the angry black trans-sexual. Sorry for the mix up."

2. "You gonna eat all those breadsticks, you chalk-faced whore?"

3. Gordon Ramsey be damned, this here is the real Hell's Kitchen.

4. "Mommy, why did the mean black man just eat all my French fries?"

5. "First, the brought me the wrong appetizer. Then, my veal scallopini was undercooked.  And now, some b-tch who's never held a real job is lecturing me on portion sizes... They better not be expecting a tip."


Best of Kaptain Krude
From IMDB:
Eat The Rich - Michelle is a disgruntled waitress at a snobby exclusive restaurant who falls on hard times. Forced to deal with the contempt and disgust of the upper class, Michelle & cohorts attempt to go on a rampage. Meanwhile, General Karprov and Spider plot to involve the inept anarchists into their plans to derail the prime-minister-to-be's campaign.

 
Best of Dr. Doom
"Now Michele, we generally don't comment on the diners' choices of entre and it is never appropriate to use the phrase 'chalk faced whore', do you understand," queried the manager? Post Whitehouse on the job training was harder than Mrs. Obama thought it would be...

 Best of chronos Z. wonderpig "Now look! You can't eat the carpet, who do you think you are, Hillary?"
 
Best of Son Of The Godfather "Perhaps you didn't hear me? I'm a food critic for Yelp."

 Best of Dr. Doom "This gagh is not fresh, the chef will feel my wrath," complained the First Lady, "Fetch my bat'leth, Shidroj Ngog!"

Best of jimmy "Little b*tch tried to tell *me* I ought to eat those awful school-lunch meals. Yeah, that's the spot she hit the floor when I snapped her neck."

Best of Mr Hanket No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.

 Best of Double the U Listen here! You finish all of those bread sticks and don't give me any lip about them being "unlimited"
 

Best of chronos Z. wonderpig
"..and if you want to be my food tasters you best learn not to sit down before I do!!"

20 comments:

Kaptain Krude said...

From IMDB:

Eat The Rich - Michelle is a disgruntled waitress at a snobby exclusive restaurant who falls on hard times. Forced to deal with the contempt and disgust of the upper class, Michelle & cohorts attempt to go on a rampage. Meanwhile, General Karprov and Spider plot to involve the inept anarchists into their plans to derail the prime-minister-to-be's campaign.



/Coming soon to a theater near you.

Dr. Doom said...

"Stupid, white, and fat is no way to go through life biotch," screamed the First Lady, "Now drop and give me twenty!"

Dr. Doom said...

"Now Michele, we generally don't comment on the diners' choices of entre and it is never appropriate to use the phrase 'chalk faced whore', do you understand," queried the manager? Post Whitehouse on the job training was harder than Mrs. Obama thought it would be...

Dr. Doom said...

Diner: "Hey wait just a minute, this is not a school lunch, I paid for this lunch, and I will get what I want to get"
Michele: "You didn't pay for that lunch somebody along the way helped you pay for that lunch..."

Dr. Doom said...

Things went down hill for the First Lady's school lunch initiative when she started insisting that teachers eat the cardboard comestibles. The NEA got involved and now no one gets to eat anything but the teachers get a five percent raise to buy it...

chronos Z. wonderpig said...

"now look! You can't eat the carpet, who do you think you are, Hillary?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Perhaps you didn't hear me? I'm a food critic for Yelp."

Dr. Doom said...

"This gagh is not fresh, the chef will feel my wrath," complained the First Lady, "Fetch my bat'leth, Shidroj Ngog!"

dadoctah said...

"Enjoying your arugula?"

Anonymous said...

"Can I tell you about Jehovah's Witnesses?"

jimmy said...

"Little b*tch tried to tell *me* I ought to eat those awful school-lunch meals. Yeah, that's the spot she hit the floor when I snapped her neck."

curly said...

“It’s Black Lives Matter bitch; now hand over da food.”

curly said...

“I know you isn’t hopin’ to get yo change back.”

Mr Hanket said...

No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.

Double the U said...

Listen here! You finish all of those bread sticks and don't give me any lip about them being "unlimited"

chronos Z. wonderpig said...

"..and if you want to be my food tasters you best learn not to sit down before I do!!"

Anonymous said...

Knock yo self a pro, slick! That grey matta back lop a praformers down, not take tcb, ,man!

GregMan said...

"This 'do cost a thousand dolla', and mah pantsuit cost tree thousand, now I's gone lecture you 'bout you White Privelege, bitch!"

GregMan said...

White Lady: "Just relaxe and ignore it, honey, and maybe it will go away on it's own."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Dat's a real nice throw rug you've got there," M'chel'le rumbled as she eyed the patron's dress. "It would be a real shame if something were to... *happen* to it, if'n you'se knows wat I means."