Tuesday, December 22, 2015

A Moment with Santa


1. "No, shit, Santa. You were in 'Nam, too?"
2. Say what you will about the man, but the two-man sh-tters in Trump's casinos are plush.
3. Santa: "Dude, for the last time, the list of naughty girls is not for sale."
4. "I couldn't help but notice the smell of alcohol on your breath and the look of abject failure in your eyes. Is that you, Jeb?"
5. "I've been very good this year and I demand that Hillary suffer a crippling aneurysm."

Dr. Doom
"So we was a settin' around drinkin some beers and we seen this strange red glow a comin over the ridge, and that's when I shot Rudolph, Santa. Then we field dressed him an brung him home so the ol' lady could grind him into deer sausage." explained Darryl plantively, "Now about that 9 power scope Santa, I want the one with the contrasting reticle..."

dadoctah
"I've got just one wish for Christmas this year. I want one single Presidential candidate that's not full-on batshit crazy."
    "Sorry. Can't help you. Would you settle for a Chipotle gift card?"

Submariner
    Whatcha mean datin' mah sister done put us on the "naughty list?"

11 comments:

Dr. Doom said...

"So we was a settin' around drinkin some beers and we seen this strange red glow a comin over the ridge, and that's when I shot Rudolph, Santa. Then we field dressed him an brung him home so the ol' lady could grind him into deer sausage." explained Darryl plantively, "Now about that 9 power scope Santa, I want the one with the contrasting reticle..."

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

"Seems like them fellers over in the Mid East is pretty grumpy lately Santa. So I was thinking you could slip some of my wife Edna's home cooked vittles in every ISIS stocking this year," explained Jim Bob, "Nothin' like some pepper cured bacon and deep fried fatback to cheer a feller right up." ORA: This works a lot better if you say it in your head in the voice of Jed Clampett...

dadoctah said...

"I've got just one wish for Christmas this year. I want one single Presidential candidate that's not full-on batshit crazy."

"Sorry. Can't help you. Would you settle for a Chipotle gift card?"

Kaptain Krude said...

This portion of the Saturday night movie, "Brokeback Mountain 2: Christmas Boogaloo" is brought to you by Outdoor Supplies Warehouse, and by Trojans, and by Jell-o brand Pudding.

Rodney Dill said...

....For dinner? Reindeer steaks, with Fava beans, and a nice Chianti.

Rodney Dill said...

"...Then I says, when I says WHOA... I means WHOA.... That's when I shot Rudolph."

Submariner said...

Dude... I heard you can hook me up with some snow...

Submariner said...

Jes' wanna warn ya that ya kin have the glass o' shine I'm leavin' out for ya with the squirrel jerky, but don' be touchin' muh jug or things'll get a touch nasty on Christmas Eve fer them dear. Got that?

Submariner said...

Whatcha mean datin' mah sister done put us on the "naughty list?"

Submariner said...

All ah really wants fer Christmas is a cold-fusion, super-collider...