Friday, December 04, 2015

When Santa Met Satan




1. "The Pig is into BDSM, Pass It On."

2. All three offered to "Love you long time." One offer was accepted.

3. "Uh, Santa, I, um, think you, um, got my list confused with, um, Hillary's. I don't, um, eat pork and I don't need a, um, child sacrifice."

4. "A solid black butt-plug!! Thank you, Santa, it's PERFECT!"

5. "When I show you the Queen of Spades, you will kill them. You will kill them all!"

19 comments:

Dr. Doom said...

"Well OK, I guess," replied Santa, "We don't get many requests for the manifesto any more but I think I can scare one up if that's what you really want..."

Dr. Doom said...

"Oh Santa you're my hero," gushed Mr. Obama, “You bring free stuff to everyone whether they deserve it or not and no one has to pay for it..."

Dr. Doom said...

So an Asian child, Miss Piggy, and Santa Claus walk into Man Country Quebec... stop me if you've heard this one...

Dr. Doom said...

"...and don't forget Santa, every Republican in congress gets a lump of coal in the stocking this year," instructed the President, "any way you can make those smoldering coals?"

Dr. Doom said...

Mr. Obama: "Santa I know who has been naughty or nice - just like you,"
Santa: "Oh? Do you have elves too?"
Mr. Obama: "Yes, we call them the NSA, they are more like trolls though..."

jimmy said...

Miss Piggy: "Santa! How could you? You told me I was the only narcissistic, pretentious, out-of-touch puppet in your life!"

[/HIII-YAH!]

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

jimmy for president! Anyone with me? Hilarious dude...

Kaptain Krude said...

Ditto what Dr. Doom said! Hilarious, Jimmy!

jimmy said...

Aw, shucks...[/blush]

Anonymous said...

Christmas is coming. Merry Christmas.
kizi 2
ebog

Steve O said...

Reminds me of a joke: What's Santa Clause's finger and smells like Miss Piggy?

Mr Hankey said...

..."Quick! Someone grab that little Asian boy! He took Piggy's....I mean Michelle's mask!"

Mr Hankey said...

Just what Barry wanted from Santa. His own interns to put under his desk.

curly said...

"You can, er, enter my chimney any time, um, Santa."

Double the U said...

Pssst!, Barack.... try the pig.

Dr. Doom said...

"I'm afraid this won't do at all Santa," replied the President with grave concern, "This is not what Michelle had in mind when she asked you for Korean pork ribs..."

Dr. Doom said...

"Merry... er, Happy, um... Joyous ahhh... Kwanza Santa,", exclaimed the President!

dadoctah said...

A cleverly disguised Carly Fiorina, Chris Christie and Bobby Jindal manage to sneak undetected into the White House.