Tuesday, January 12, 2016

A Scumbag and a Drug Dealer Walk Into a Caption Contest

Schneider



1. "Welcome to the State of the Union Speech. You'll be seated between Michael Brown's baby-daddy and a Syrian refugee. Don't sit in the empty chair, it's for victims of Global Warming or something."

2. Ironically, both of them will be making cameo appearances in Fast and Furious 9.

3. "No big deal, I'm constantly running into Latino guys who've banged my ex-wife."

4. The Green Party unveils its 2016 ticket.

5. "Pool's in back; you better have brought your own skimmer."

20 comments:

Sean Penn said...

Whatta know, I like corrupt socialist dictators myself!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine."

Son Of The Godfather said...

The awkward moment where Penn realizes it really wasn't Hugo Chavez he'd been interviewing goes viral.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Nice shirt. Did Sean find him at a gay disco?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Greetings, El Chapo. I am Sam."

Son Of The Godfather said...

From the earpiece he's wearing: "OK Mr.Penn, you're doing great. Just a little longer. Remember, the code that tells us you're in trouble is 'I'm a narcissistic self-important douchenozzel'... Then we'll come in with guns blazing."

Son Of The Godfather said...

EL Chapo: "Hey, you're not the guy the service usually sends over..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Yes, I would rather caption photos of has-been actors and drug kingpins than listen to the SCOAMF tell me all about the state of his union.

jimmy said...

El Chapo: "I'll give you thirty kilos for your dancing slut."
Penn: "How many times do I have to tell you--I'm not married to her any more!"
EC: "Forty kilos."
Penn: "Deal."

Anonymous said...

Ok, we will shake on it. I've got nine pounds up my ass and it will be in Los Angeles by noon tomorrow.

Whacko said...

Senor Penn, Eeef I am caught becase of theeese interview, I will have my many drug amigos f**k you up.

Dr. Doom said...

Sean Penn seals the deal with El Chapo and not only earns a nice fee from Rolling Stone but secures a lifetime supply of blow - talk about your sweet double dips...

Mr Hankey said...

The New and Improved "Odd Couple" pits two often divorced men together on the run through a multitude of tunnels throughout Mexico.

Mr Hankey said...

Spicoli thinks he finally has it made with his big score.

GregMan said...

ORA: "My name Jose Jimenez."

GregMan said...

"Don't worry, Mr. El Chapo, President Obama will pardon you any day now, especially since you promised him some primo blow."

dadoctah said...

"I've been thinking about this, Mr. Hand. If I'm here and you're here, doesn't that make him *our* dictator? Certainly there's nothing wrong with a little feast with our dictator."

Mr Hankey said...

Wonder-twin powers.....Activate. I'll take the form of a self-important actor and you take the form of the guy on Jimmy Kimmel.

Mr Hankey said...

Stoner-fest 2016 - Jeff Spicoli realizes his dream as he spends $20 to get his picture taken with his idol.

Kaptain Krude said...

ORA: Lawyer and part-time photographer Steve Dallas was admitted to the St. Fernhotz Memorial Hospital today, suffering from lots of bruises and a broken back.

/The reward of $32.67 is still on the table.