Monday, June 20, 2016

Can't Get Rid of this Guy Soon Enough

Brender


1. "I got six months to go and I am going to burn what's left of this b-tch to the f-ckin' ground. Are you proud of me, daddy?"

2. "I like you. I will kill you last."

3. The microphone and host's erection were pointing up at exactly the same angle.

4. "Of all my presidential achievements, getting 'The Dukes of Hazzard' canceled is probably the one I'm most proud of."

5. "I have long believed that 'Father's Day' was a cruel joke on the African-American community."

Best of GregMan
"I'll demonstrate how I fellate Reggie Love using this microphone, here."

 

Best of jimmy
"When people say to me, 'You're no Ronald Reagan', it makes me feel a little better to look at you on TV every night and say 'You're no Johnny Carson'."

 

Best of Dr. Doom
"...and that is how we do it at Man Country DC," instructed the President, "now at Man Country Dusseldorf, the technique is a bit different..."

 

Best of dadoctah
O'Neill and Teal'c have really let themselves go. Especially Teal'c.
 
Best of I am not a robot
"If you tell me how much c*ck sucking and ass f*cking you had to do with Lorne Michaels to get your job I will let you know how much I had to do to become President."

Best of jimmy
Jimmy: "Would you like to be my Ed McMahon?"
PrezBO: "No thanks, Jimmy--America would never believe me in the role of a straight-man."

Best of metalgarth
Alternate universe X223759: "I'm very pleased with what we've accomplished in the last 8 years. Employment is at an all time high. GDP has seen record growth. We've gotten the federal government out of education. I'd be happier if the budget deficits could have been lowered a couple billion more, but I think it's good progress" 

Best of Submariner
"Actually, Jimmy, I feel it's the American people who have been a failure over the last seven and a half years. Sure, they've refused to agree to my every whim as directed by the media. But ESPECIALLY DISSAPOINTING is their refusal to acquiesce to my desire to confiscate all weapons from all but political office-holder bodyguards, street gangs, petty thugs, violent left-wing extremists and peaceful Islamic practitioners..."

Best of Mr Hankey
Please let me stay....I don't want to go home....M'Chel is there!
 

10 comments:

GregMan said...

"I'll demonstrate how I fellate Reggie Love using this microphone, here."

jimmy said...

"When people say to me, 'You're no Ronald Reagan', it makes me feel a little better to look at you on TV every night and say 'You're no Johnny Carson'."

Dr. Doom said...

"...and that is how we do it at Man Country DC," instructed the President, "now at Man Country Dusseldorf, the technique is a bit different..."

dadoctah said...

O'Neill and Teal'c have really let themselves go. Especially Teal'c.

I am not a robot said...

"If you tell me how much c*ck sucking and ass f*cking you had to do with Lorne Michaels to get your job I will let you know how much I had to do to become President."

Submariner said...

Jimmy, let me, ahhhh, be clear. Uh, I'll be uh, HAPPY to ummm, show you, umm, what Gavin taught, uh, me, uh, to do to a, uhhh, micro, um, microphone...

jimmy said...

Jimmy: "Would you like to be my Ed McMahon?"
PrezBO: "No thanks, Jimmy--America would never believe me in the role of a straight-man."

metalgarth said...

Alternate universe X223759:
"I'm very pleased with what we've accomplished in the last 8 years. Employment is at an all time high. GDP has seen record growth. We've gotten the federal government out of education. I'd be happier if the budget deficits could have been lowered a couple billion more, but I think it's good progress"

Submariner said...

"Actually, Jimmy, I feel it's the American people who have been a failure over the last seven and a half years. Sure, they've refused to agree to my every whim as directed by the media. But ESPECIALLY DISSAPOINTING is their refusal to acquiesce to my desire to confiscate all weapons from all but political office-holder bodyguards, street gangs, petty thugs, violent left-wing extremists and peaceful Islamic practitioners..."

Mr Hankey said...

Please let me stay....I don't want to go home....M'Chel is there!